Pattaya Taught Me The Real Value Of Sex

Written by: The Pretender

July 27th, 2016

10 min read

Original published URL:


I would like to discuss the lessons I have learned whilst engaging in promiscuous sex here in Pattaya Thailand as I believe these lessons are important for how we could consider conducting our lives both here in Thailand and when we are back living in the western world and dealing with western women.

In my 7 trips over the last 4 years I have had sex with a lot of people – mostly ladyboys but some women as well. What I have found is that over time sex with the same person gets boring and it happens very quickly regardless of whether it is a woman or a ladyboy. The gays and lesbians want to get married back in the west – they should be careful what they wish for! They have freedoms that heterosexual men could only dream of! But I digress.

The most important take away lesson from Pattaya I believe is sex with the same person gets boring over time. This lesson is the most important because this is the situation that most foreigners will get themselves into when they decide to stay here in Thailand permanently. It's so very tempting to get into a relationship here and I understand only too well why us foreign men do this. Being aware of the diminishing returns in engaging sexually with the same person over time one must also be aware that the very real risk is that after getting together with a Thai, living with them and having a long term relationship with them, the relationship could end and this places us foreigners in a situation where we have no real security. We can't own land in Thailand and we can only own 49% of a business. The playing field is by no means level here. It's easy for me to see why so many foreigners mess themselves up over here. Everything is rigged in favour of the Thais. As the sexual experiences with one Thai person decrease over time the very real resources or money we are giving them compound – they increase over time and this comes at our very real expense.

Think about how high risk this place is to us men. If we are living in Pattaya – we don't have to walk very far outside our condo where we can find a new sex partner. Just like that. If we engage with this sex partner the intensity of the sexual experience the first time will be the highest it will ever be and it will be higher than the intensity of the sexual experience with our existing partner – who we have grown accustomed to and perhaps bored with over time. If we cheat on our existing partner we put ourselves and our assets in harms way. We place our power in the hands of the Thais.

Imagine if we have sold up our assets back in the western world, transferred our money to Thailand, moved here full time and got ourselves into a relationship with a Thai person. We are living with them. Over time the intensity of the sexual experience has diminished to the point where we are bored. We would like to go with a new partner. Every single day we step outside our condo we are surrounded by young, beautiful Thai bar girls. Temptation is everywhere and it would take an extremely strong man working hard, fighting against his nature, to ignore this temptation particularly when you are in a situation where you are bored of your existing partner.

So what is the solution to this problem?

Well – in my opinion the only way to win this game is to remain single whilst you are living in Thailand. That's right – remain single. Live alone and do your own thing. Engage sexually with existing and new partners if and when you feel the need but maintain your freedom, autonomy and independence at all costs. In the western world – it's a relationship desert. We all know this and this forms the basis of our need – our demand for these trips to Thailand. Our demand however is not met by adequate supply at a reasonable price in the western world. Having no other reasonable options we decide to travel to the land of smiles.

If you think about it – we are going from one extreme to another when making these independent trips to Thailand. In the western world we are starved for affection and romance and our instincts tell us that if we do find a reasonably attractive woman we should lock her in so to speak because who knows how long it could take before we get another opportunity. In Thailand we have opportunity everywhere so we should behave rationally by not getting ourselves into a long term permanent, committed, monogamous relationship.

The real lesson from Pattaya – that sex with the same partner gets boring over time applies both to the western world and to Thailand. So really – the only rational action we western men should take is to maintain the default position of mistrust towards the female of the species and remain single both in the west AND in Thailand. In other words – commitment to one partner in the west or in Asia may essentially be a fools errand. It's guaranteed to leave us unsatisfied as a man over time. It's guaranteed to produce diminishing returns for us – and note this carefully – diminishing returns in the area that we are most interested in achieving exponentially increasing returns in over time – the area of sexual satisfaction. Variety makes up a large part of sexual satisfaction due to sex getting boring with the same partner over time.

I think what happens to many of us men in relationships is we start out having fantastic sex. The best sex of our lives with a new person. We expect that this level of sexual intensity will lats forever – but it doesn't. It's natures way of tricking us into committing to the female. Women and the state via marriage takes advantage of this quirk of male nature. We foolishly make a legal decision which substantially limits our freedom and autonomy. When we commit to one person we give up the opportunity to be with other people. So the opportunity cost of commitment is very high indeed. In a city like Pattaya – the opportunity cost of committing to one partner is extreme. Off the charts. Believe me when I say that commitment is tempting here. A big part of me is in love with one person here in Pattaya and it would be so easy to just see her and nobody else. I have carried on paid relations with this person since 2013 but it has always been an open relationship. Committing would cost me a lot both financially and otherwise.

I think also in the western world we men stay with the wrong partner for much longer than we really should. We put up with her nagging, complaining, bitching and sometimes violent behaviour because in the back of our minds we fear being in a situation where we have no sex partner and we understand intuitively how difficult it is out on the streets trying to pick up sub standard women in bars and nightclubs. We have to learn "game" and practice pick up artist techniques. Ridiculous shit that a western man doesn't need to do over here in Asia. There are no pick up artists in Thailand. There is simply no need.

I read somewhere recently that western men who bring their western woman with them to Thailand are making a very big mistake. Over 90% of these partnerships end in less than a year here in Thailand. Think about the reasons why. Imagine – you have been with a western woman for years now and have become bored with her. The intensity of sex has diminished over time from 100% down to just over 50%. You are teetering on the edge and arguing all the time. You then arrive here in Thailand with her and you take a good look around. You see you don't have to put up with any of your woman's shit anymore as you have many more opportunities with young, beautiful, submissive partners who will treat you like a king instead of like a fool. If you get rid of your western woman you will experience very high levels of sexual intensity and the feelings of falling in love again with a fresh, new partner. In your new situation you will go from hearing “What have you done for me lately” vs “I will do anything for you”. What man could resist? Many of you would have seen the way western women grip their men's arms here in Pattaya when walking down the street. It's a real sight to behold isn't it? Western women here have a look of desperation in their eyes – something I have not ever seen back in the western world. Here in Thailand western women seem to have few very options. The western men avoid them like the plague and Thai men are too short and too poor for them. I get looks here from very attractive western women who wouldn't give me the time of day back home.

It's obvious to me after spending enough time in this extreme city that women use sex as a “loss leader”. To get us men in the door. To hook us at the start of the relationship so we stick around to provide them with what they really want from us – commitment, monogamy, security, family, resources, our time and our labour value. Women's behaviour is so clear to me now in a way that it wasn't when I was a younger man. As women age and lose their physical attractiveness they have less power over us men and this is a very real threat to them and the security they seek. They know only too well that it is sex that men are really after and they have little time to waste given they will lose their youth and attractiveness as they age – qualities which are essential to gain the protection and love of the men they seek – high status, rich and successful men.

It's so obvious why so many women hate pornography and prostitutes. Both severely undercut their sexual market bargaining position. Both give men outlets for their sexual urges and severely lessen their sexual power and control over men. In Pattaya I wouldn't consider even for a minute hooking up with a western woman. Why would I given the sexual opportunities that are available to me here? The whole notion of being with a western woman here in Thailand is frankly speaking – ridiculous to me.

Pattaya taught me that the real value of sex is low. We know that we can obtain sex here for less than $80. The value of our time and labour value as men however is very high. We should keep the lessons of Pattaya in mind – stay single, work hard, do our own thing and do not commit to one partner if you want to have high quality sexual experiences over your lifetime. These lessons are difficult ones for me to accept given I was brought up in a family which my mother and father remained married but accept them I must give my experiences here in Thailand.

My advice to you is this gentlemen: do not commit to anyone except yourself. That's one of the 48 laws of power by the way.

Until next time – all the best!