My Experiences With Pattaya Ladyboys

Written by: The Pretender

December 19th, 2012

13 min read

Original published URL:


Dear Stickman Readers,

I have recently returned from a solo holiday in Pattaya and this is my story of engaging with ladyboy prostitutes.

You see – despite considering myself to be 100% heterosexual, as far back as I can remember, I have always wanted to f@#$ a ladyboy. On Sunday, November 25th, 2012, at the age of 33 in a short time room close to Walking Street in Pattaya I finally achieved my goal. I can't remember her name but I do remember the experience. It was one of the best sexual experiences of my life. She was 27 years old, extremely attractive and very feminine in appearance and manner. I met her on Walking Street at the bar next to Linda Bar. At first I was very nervous as this was my first time in Pattaya and my first time speaking to a Thai ladyboy. After she called out to me I walked over and started talking to her. I found her to be very pleasant to talk to even given her broken English so I sat down at the bar and ordered myself and her a drink. She told me how handsome, fit, well dressed and how young I was compared to the other guys in Pattaya and I could see in her eyes that she was genuinely attracted to me physically. After a few minutes of conversation and flirting she asked if I had ever kissed a ladyboy before and I said no. She then kissed me and it felt just like kissing a woman. She started talking dirty to me and told me how horny she was and that my subtle resistance to her charms was making her crazy with anticipation. She grabbed my hand and put it on her crotch. She was erect. She really was attracted to me. It was the first cock I had ever touched other than my own. I ordered another drink and mulled over in my mind whether or not I was going to have sex with this ladyboy. All sorts of things went through my mind as I had heard all the stories about the ladyboys in Thailand. Can I trust this person? Will she rob me? Could she have an STD or be HIV positive? What would my friends, family or work colleagues back home say if they could see me talking to this individual? As I finished my drink I thought 'f@#$ it – who gives a shit what other people think of me – I'm attracted to this person and I want to and I am going to have sex with her'. And with that I looked into her eyes and told her I am attracted to her and I wanted to go to a short time room and do all the dirty things she kept telling me she wanted to do with and to me. I paid her bar fine of 500 baht and she lead me down a soi off Walking Street where there was a short time room. She directed me to pay 200 baht for the room and we went inside. We showered together and I looked at her naked for the first time. It was an extreme turn on for me as I saw this beautiful and feminine person who also had a cock. Sexually, let's just say that we both experienced each other completely. It was quite different to having sex with a woman. This was much more full on, dirty and exciting. She was very affectionate and we kissed passionately and deeply. It was exciting because we both knew just by looking into each others eyes what we wanted and for the first time in my life I was with someone who knew exactly what I wanted as a man and gave exactly that to me and vice versa. It was like having sex with a woman who is as horny, open-minded and dirty sexually as a man. Her smell did not turn me off at all. I was worried about this being a factor as a woman's smell is important in turning a guy on in general and I thought this would be an issue but it wasn't really.

I paid her 1,000 baht for short time which was 500 baht less than she said that she usually asks for because she said that she really wanted to f@#$ me as she was so attracted to me physically. I gave her a 200 baht tip because the sex was so great. After we left the room I thanked her, we both hugged and gave each other a kiss. She then gave me the traditional Thai wai which I also gave her in return. We looked into each other's eyes, smiled at each other and then I turned and walked off. I went back to the Pattaya Beer Garden to have a drink and think about my experience. I could not stop smiling as I recalled my first sexual experience with a Thai ladyboy. It was far better than anything I had ever imagined. Certainly better than any of the female partners I have had in my life and I have had a lot of them over my 33 years. As I sat there I realised that this experience had changed me in a deep and profound way. How could I go back home and go on dates with biological women and put up with the nagging, complaining, bitching and all the rest of the crap that we men have to put up with in the west just to receive a bit of sex which is mostly bad quality sex and less frequent sex over time at that. I knew that I would never be the same again and that I had ruined myself for future dates with women back home. Many thoughts went through my head about my future. After I finished my beer I knew exactly what I needed to do – at least for the short term – I knew what I needed to do whilst here in Pattaya – of that I was damn sure:

My job was to f@#$ as many ladyboys as possible!

The next 2 weeks were an orgy of unbelievably mind bending, hot (but safe) sex with ladyboys and the occasional woman. Walking Street became boring after only a few nights. Soi 6 was where I needed to go I was told as it was the place where the hardcore sexpats hang out. The first time I experienced Soi 6 I loved it. That place has the dirtiest, filthiest, most wantonly aggressive ladyboy prostitutes that I have ever encountered. It made Walking Street a tame tourist hang out by comparison. The short time rooms had stains on the carpets, stains on the walls, were grotty and filthy and the showers and bathroom were shared and I saw other people naked and walking around casually just as they saw me naked and I didn't care even a little. f@#$ that place was exciting! The experience of walking down Soi 6, and the alleyway to the side was very, very exciting. As I walked along women and ladyboys would approach me and tell me that they wanted me to f@#$ them or they wanted to f@#$ me. It felt so dirty and so sleazy to walk down Soi 6 and in particular down the alleyway at the side. Here I was – a tall, very well dressed, young, fit and muscular, 6'2" ex fitness model farang flying solo and didn't the prostitutes respond – calling out "handsome man", "oooiiii", grabbing my hand, grabbing my crotch, grabbing my arse or grabbing my arms trying to pull me into a bar. These were not half hearted calls like I heard them make to the older guys. These women really did want me as well as my money. The ladyboys were the most aggressive. One would come up to me in front and 2 others from the side. All wanting me to f@#$ them. This was so exciting – I knew I had finally arrived in paradise! For 2 weeks, every second night I was here, sometimes one night after the other, walking up and down, engaging with these "ladies" of the night, drinking in the bars, going upstairs for short time encounters and generally enjoying everything that the Soi 6 ladyboys had to offer. Here I was – this highly educated farang engaging in things I was raised never to do. Things that back home would have my family, my friends and my work colleagues shocked and appalled and lead to me being ostracised and labelled a disgrace. Things that left me excited and wanting more, more, MORE!

I am a highly visual person and I remember intimately every sexual encounter I had with each and every ladyboy. One of them had the most beautiful face I had ever seen. She was 21 years old. The sex with her was absolutely incredible. To stare at her beautiful face and into her eyes as we enjoyed each other's company was a privilege and an unforgettable experience. I was on a MASSIVE high after having sex with her. Another ladyboy was beautiful physically and personality wise and I enjoyed our 15 minute conversation after we had finished having sex. Another had the body of a supermodel but with tattoos and she was very submissive and kept saying 'yes darling this and yes darling that'. She was so excited when I f@#$ed her up the arse.

All up I had sex with eight ladyboys and 2 women. It was a f@#$ing great experience! I cannot wait to get back to Pattaya to experience it again. I knew from my Stickman readings how addictive it would be. I have read every article on Stickman and I used those articles to develop my own personal "Rules of Engagement" whilst in Pattaya which are essentially a distillation of all the experiences from Stickman writers of what to do and what not to do. These rules were essentially to protect myself from the bar girls and very importantly – to protect myself from myself. Rules like never giving out my contact details to bar girls, not establishing a long term romantic relationship with any of them, not sending them money from back home, not frequenting the same bar, not allowing the girls to take photos of me or me of them and so on. My rules protected me very well and came in very handy but before I left I was very worried about my hard and fast rule 1 which stated "ALWAYS REMEMBER – I AM ENGAGING IN AN ADDICTIVE ACTIVITY – DON'T DO IT EVERY NIGHT". After living through this experience, and doing it mostly every 2nd night so as not to break my rule, I can categorically say that this lifestyle is absolutely addictive. I can completely understand why western men love it so much. Despite the fact that I was having sex with women as well as ladyboys – the underlying cause of it being so addictive is biological of course – men have evolved to have sex with as many different beautiful women as possible. I now know that yes – even if that beautiful woman has a cock – it is still exciting as you still having a sexual experience with a beautiful looking individual who looks physically like a woman. For me it was even more exciting given these ladyboys will say and do pretty much anything and are not lazy bitches in bed like most women. She is up for it at the same level as me as a man and that is a huge turn on. She is not using sex as a reward or any of the crap that women use to control men back in the west. Yes she is in it for the money but she can still be attracted to you if she likes you. Didn't I know this after my 2 week holiday! I was very popular amongst the local ladyboy population. I treated my partners with respect, they treated me with respect. I conducted myself honestly with them. I did and said all the things I would say back home when meeting an individual for the first time. Respect is a two way street and the ladies of the night I engaged with seemed extremely pleased that I treated them so well, paid them a fair price and appreciated that I didn't lie or promise them anything else. All I asked was that we have a great sexual experience together and 80% of the time I found my partners were attracted to me physically and we did have great sexual experiences.

For the record – I have never had sex with a man before back home ever in my life neither do I plan on ever doing this. I am not attracted to men at all physically. Does this experience with Thai ladyboys make me gay? Who knows – maybe – probably in some people's minds and certainly in others. Personally I really don't care. I am going to continue f@#$ing ladyboys every chance I get when I am in Pattaya and if that makes me gay then so be it. I don't care if my close friends make fun of me for it. I told them straight up – it was the best sex I have ever had. Period. Some were shocked. Others smiled and told me they "always knew I was a dirty c*nt". Will I tell any future female partners that I have had sex with ladyboys? Maybe not – because the women here in the west – every woman I have ever met and ever been involved with would not understand nor tolerate this. I will however be responsible and I will ensure that I have safe sex and get tested for both STDs and HIV on a regular basis. I could not live with the thought of infecting a partner through no fault of their own. It is highly likely now that I have experienced Thailand and sex with Thai women and ladyboys that I have ruined myself for relationships with women here in the west anyway and will stay living alone and if that is the case and my lot in life never to marry – so be that as well! The women I were with in the past getting the better part of the deal anyway.

Here is a warning to you Stickman readers who might want to follow my path. Getting home after an experience like this is like coming off drugs. It has been without doubt a very unpleasant withdrawal experience over the last 10 days and I know that the withdrawal is not over. I am in real trouble here: I will need to keep going back again and again to Pattaya to get my fix.

I read somewhere that a man hasn't truly arrived in Thailand until he has had sex with a ladyboy.

Gentlemen – The Pretender has arrived!


Stickman's thoughts:

The other half has joked with me on occasions never to have sex with a ladyboy – not that the idea has ever entered my mind. What she says – and what I have heard a number of Thais say – is that sex with ladyboys can be very addictive and once you've gone down that path it is hard to go back…

My Life After My Experiences With Pattaya Ladyboys

My Life After My Experiences With Pattaya Ladyboys

Written by: The Pretender

December 19th, 2012

8 min read

Original published URL:


Dear Stickman Readers,

Gentlemen – it has been 9 months since I returned from my solo holiday in Pattaya and I would like to update you all on where I am at given my experiences with Pattaya ladyboys and the article I wrote about those experiences late last year. My infamous article has number 1 place on Google search when typing in the search term “Pattaya Ladyboys”.

I have made significant changes in my life since my return from Pattaya, which I have made as a direct result of my ladyboy experiences. I have shut down all forms of dating, rejected all short and long-term relationships with women and I have been living in a state of voluntary celibacy.

I have chosen voluntary celibacy to ensure that I am not inadvertently roped into a relationship with a woman which would restrict my future Pattaya plans and to ensure that I retain the most important commodities on offer in this life – my individual freedom, liberty, peace of mind and autonomy.

There have been temptations, let me tell you. I had a single mother interested in me who was very sexy and who I had an intense sexual desire towards. I called her up and I asked what she was looking for – “a long-term relationship” she said.

I told her the truth – “I am walking a different path in life”. “As lovely as you are I will not be getting involved in a long term relationship with you as I value my time, peace of mind, freedom and autonomy above all else in life”. “Great to have met you and all the best for the future”.

You see – I will be back in Pattaya Thailand in 3 months time where I will be picking up where I left off and I will again be experiencing the delights of the Pattaya ladyboys but this time there will be a big difference because over the last 9 months I have had another very important commodity since choosing a life of voluntary celibacy – vast amounts of free time.

What have I been doing with this free time?

I have been learning to speak, read and write Thai via the website Learn Thai Podcast. I can highly recommend it – it’s a fantastic resource!

This year I have spent 450 hours learning the Thai language. This has been my major driving obsession and mission in life since my return from Thailand because I want to have conversations with and make Thai friends when I am in Thailand.

I have made the decision to become an ex-pat and to live 1 month out of every year in Thailand. Anything more than 1 month I feel would be dangerous because the lifestyle on offer is so intoxicating and addictive. I had such fun on my last solo trip that I want to do it again and again and again! Not a day goes by that I don't think about Thailand and my experiences. I have a love for the place as human connections are so easy to make, I am treated so very well and the isolation that I feel in the West is completely gone when I am in Thailand. I don’t care if it is all an illusion. I will take this illusion over the reality of life in the West. It would be nice to live the illusion for longer than 1 month out of each year but work commitments and my intuition and logic tells me to live and earn my money in the West and spend some of it in Thailand. I will be wealthier for it and that is what the Thais really want anyway.

I will be honest and say that my experiences with ladyboys in Pattaya have had large consequences in my life and let this be a warning to those of you thinking of following in my footsteps.

I find women here in the West (especially Western women) extremely boring, irritating to be around and intolerable now compared to before. All I hear out of their mouths is constant bitching, moaning, sarcasm and complaining. Most of them are hypergamous and looking to marry up and I want no part of this (I believe that hypergamy is the number 1 driving force in women to achieve what they really want in life: security). They are not looking at me as a sex object as I am looking at them. They are looking at me as a “success” object. The sexual drive I have as a man has always been used against me in the past by women who have strategically manipulated me and turned me into a utility to fulfil their own selfish desires for provision, housing, luxury and security. I refuse to take on this role again and the women around me – especially those I work alongside have noticed just how different I am now compared to before. It’s like I have laser vision and can see right through their bullshit and this has turned them against me as they see me as a large threat to their control and influence over the other men at work who do their bidding. Most of these male manginas have turned against me as well as they can see that I have changed significantly since my Thailand adventures and have become a completely different person and a threat. I am "living outside the Matrix" so to speak and this is confronting to those around me.

My “gender studies” trip to Thailand last year has made me acutely aware of the differences between males and females and not just on an intellectual level like I understood before – I now have an understanding on an emotional level as well and I know what I feels like to be looked at and treated like a sex object and be in the position that an attractive woman is in. I was lusted after in Thailand by the ladyboys and it felt great! But I am a tall, fit, healthy, muscular, well-dressed and good-looking western man (in the eyes of the ladyboys) with a strong male sex drive and a polygamous nature. I viewed the ladyboys as they viewed me – as sex objects. Women however are a different story – think about the situation with women – attractive women are lusted after by men but the majority don’t go out and f*ck as many of these men as possible – no – how do attractive women behave? What have you observed about the behaviour of attractive women and women in the west (and everywhere else) in general? They choose the richest, tallest, most high status, most socially dominant men and then try to rope him into a long-term relationship. You know – marriage, children, family, home, security, monogamy and all those things that are prisons to the number one male need: FREEDOM.

When I think about all my experiences with women in the past – none of them that I have ever been with here in the West has ever had intense desire, passion and lust towards me compared to what the ladyboys in Pattaya had towards me.

The bottom line is that sex with ladyboys is the closest I have ever come to a level playing field in terms of lust. Fine – they were born male and they have a cock. As our respected writer Caveman has suggested – I have engaged in homosexual acts. I am OK with this. I now consider myself bi-sexual – a female and ladyboy f***er. To be frowned upon and avoided by many people.

Of interest – the type of women that I was sexually attracted to prior to my Pattaya trip I now find repulsive. To give you an idea – I visited a prostitute a few days ago (to have a short break from my voluntary celibacy spell but to do so in such a way that I don’t lose my freedom by getting involved in a short or long term relationship) – she had a very attractive face and body and was the type of woman that I had always been with in the past, which is why I chose her for a short time experience. This time – I felt nothing. For the first time in my life I couldn’t perform. It was just so very boring and robotic. There was no passion, desire or lust in her eyes towards me unlike with my experiences with the ladyboys in Pattaya.

I really miss the look on the faces of the ladyboys as I walked by and seeing their eyes light up at the sight of me and the sound they all make “oooiiiiiiii” – “oooooooiiiiii!!!!!!!!!” – if any of you are in Thailand and want to email me a sample of the bar girl noises please do so! I want to listen to the sound on regular occasions – perhaps put it as my new mail sound: “Ding – You have new mail” “ooooiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!”

Gentlemen – The Pretender shall return to Pattaya in 3 months and this time I will be in friend seeking mode with both Thai locals and western men. My first point of call will be Sensations Bar, as I want to meet the owner Scott who was the subject of a Sky Living documentary on the world of ladyboys. I want to have a chat with him as he has made the decision to actually live in Thailand with a ladyboy and has gone on camera and told the world about this. A brave man.

A number of you have personally emailed me about my last article and have requested to meet up if we find ourselves in Pattaya at the same time and chat about my article, ladyboys and gender studies in general. Well – I will be in Pattaya from the 23rd November until the 16th December and I always welcome meeting new people and making new friends.

That goes for you to Sir Caveman! As you know – I have a lot of respect for your writing.

Stickman 's thoughts:

Good on you for finding your niche!

Some Thoughts On Marketplaces And Me As A Desirable Customer

Some Thoughts On Marketplaces And Me As A Desirable Customer

Written by: The Pretender

October 14th, 2013

9 min read

Original published URL:


Greetings Stickman readers,

I would like to talk today about the prostitution marketplace in Pattaya, Thailand, and my place in it as a paying customer with a high sexual market value. I will also discuss the Western marriage marketplace and my removal of myself from it.

To start off I will describe myself in terms of my sexual/erotic capital – the social value I enjoy as an individual as a result of my sexual attractiveness in the eyes of other people.

I am a 34 year old 6f2” tall, white, muscular, fit, facially attractive western man. My body resembles that of a male sprinter – a body I have worked extremely hard to create over the past 10 years with dedicated diet, sprint training and bodybuilding. My body proportions are attractive and are relatively close to the golden ratio phi 1.618.

I dress very well with fitted clothes to highlight my physique. My sexual market value in the eyes of women and gay men in the west is high. I am telling you this so that you fully understand my value as a buyer/customer in the western marriage marketplace and the Thailand prostitution marketplace.

Almost 1 year ago I ventured into the ladyboy marketplace in Pattaya for the first time where I was treated like a genetic celebrity. Every ladyboy bar I went to I received gold star treatment. This was far and away above the standard treatment I saw other male buyers in the marketplace receiving. This I can only assume (apart from the fact that I am a paying customer of course) is due my desirability as an attractive man whom the ladyboys actually felt real sexual desirability towards. Erections in 80% of the ladyboys I had sex with probably backs up my claim that they found me attractive.

Let’s talk about this in terms of economics and supply and demand. Pattaya attracts a lot of men who could be considered to have a low level of sexual capital. In terms of supply and demand – there is a large supply of male buyers with low sexual capital and a low supply of male buyers with high sexual capital. For the males who have high sexual capital this creates a situation where they are accorded high status within the marketplace. This high status explains the gold star treatment, the looks of astonishment on the faces of the ladyboys as I approach the bar, their eyes lighting up like they have seen something incredible, the leering, the pointing, the “ooiiis” and other behaviour they engaged in when they saw me – an object of sexual desirability – in their eyes.

The ladyboys are working of course. The job they have is to sell themselves for as much money as possible. The more beautiful they are the more money they can make. Males value beauty and physical attractiveness and the price of that beauty in Pattaya is determined by supply and demand. The ladyboys compete with one another to sell their sexual services with the most beautiful amongst them making the most money. Whilst they are working and it is a job for them – they can still feel genuine attraction towards customers – they are human. One of them remarked to me after we did the deed “I cannot believe that I just fxxxed YOU!”

I think we can reasonably conclude that if ladyboys and gay men find a man sexually desirable then that man could be considered to be good looking.

Let’s talk a little about life back home in the West and the value of male good looks. I will say that despite my good looks being validated by the ladyboys of Pattaya, these looks have never really gotten me anywhere with genetic women at home – you know – with the women we all want as men – young, beautiful, supportive and easy going. I believe this is due to the fact that I have been “competing on their turf”. Women want to be the ones considered to be good looking and don’t want to compete with a man in that department!

What I have seen through my experience and the experience of other men is that women tend to value money, wealth, home ownership, security, family and monogamy and a good looking man who is average in terms of financial earnings is not an attractive prospect. Much better to have an ugly man who is a high-income earner and a good provider and will not sleep around than a good-looking man who “has options”. This explains the behaviour of women in nightclubs at home and their reactions to me and to men with high, medium and low sexual market value. Regardless of market value – no eyes lighting up, no looks of astonishment, no gold star treatment – mostly indifference and irritation. Reminds me of the nightclub scene in the movie Trainspotting (great movie by the way!) where Renton is trying to pick up after coming off heroin and the women are sneering at him and turning away:

“Heroin had robbed Renton of his sex drive, but now it returned with a vengeance. And as the impotence of those days faded into memory, grim desperation took hold in his sex-crazed mind. His post-junk libido, fuelled by alcohol and amphetamine, taunted him remorselessly with his own unsatisfied desire – dot, dot, dot”

This treatment is quite universal you understand from women in the West at bars and nightclubs and all men have experienced it. The reason of course is that you are just another horny male and they can’t calculate your net worth or accurately determine your social value nor your status or lack thereof. They have to conclude that you have a low net worth and no status or else – why are you here at the nightclub and not in the boardroom working late? Also – women are playing the long game and not the short one. The long game is financial security through you as a provider, you as a workhorse, you as a utility. I propose that we make it easier for women to determine our status in western nightclubs. New door policy gentlemen – entry will only be allowed to those men who have a lanyard around their neck which has the following important information listed on it:


Job Title:


Net Worth:

Home ownership status:

Value of retirement funds:

Marriage status:

It is very important for men to have the lanyard on – to compete successfully in the western nightclub marketplace you need a key differentiating factor – and that factor is not your looks gentlemen! Your looks are not your key competitive advantage. Never forget that women are selling long-term access to themselves and you are buying this so you (and they) had better make damn sure you have the funds to support them. Women only have to turn up of course.

It’s funny when you think that a woman’s value in a man's eyes is advertised wherever she goes as we are so driven by youth and beauty and this is always on display with women. Perhaps we could stamp a mans net worth on his forehead in nightclubs on entry – that would make things so much easier!

The supply and demand situation in a western nightclub is firmly in the woman’s favour. Lots of men competing for the attention of attractive women. A recent study of 11,000 women revealed that work remains the number one place they met their husbands.

I wonder why that is?

At work – women can watch you, observe how you handle yourself and other men, determine your salary, determine your leadership capabilities and other qualities and suss out your social status and how well you are treated by others as well. Women are very cunning and calculating like this and we don’t give them enough credit for their underhanded ways.

Anyway – I guess the point of what I am trying to say in this article is that much of what we experience as men comes down to the marketplace we find ourselves in. At home we are buyers in a marketplace where the most beautiful women quickly pair off with the most financially successful men in long-term relationships before they reach a stage where they are not attractive enough to do so. Women, during the stage of their lives when they are at their most beautiful demand (and can get) a man who is tall, good looking, financially successful, muscular, fit, well dressed, has leadership qualities and high social status and if you meet this stringent criteria list then you get her – the prize – monogamy, reproductive ability and a boring life of serving her and your kids until you die or are replaced with someone more alpha. You have a 50% chance of divorce and 70% of the time she will initiate the divorce if she is “unhaaaaapy”. Place your bets, gentlemen!

In Pattaya we are buyers in a marketplace where the most beautiful women and ladyboys go for short and long term encounters with men who can pay for the encounter. The only important factor is that you have the funds available for the encounter. Doesn’t really matter how tall you are, how good looking, well dressed or attractive you are but if you do meet these requirements like I do (for now – my looks will fade of course) then you will be given extra special celebrity treatment.

What I essentially did is take myself from one marketplace (the Western marriage market) where I had average worth, was competing with men who had much higher worth and the product of the sellers (women) was ridiculously overpriced, to another marketplace (the Pattaya prostitution market) where my product had extremely high worth, and the product of the sellers (women and ladyboys) was very competitively priced and represented extremely good value for money and a great experience.

I put a lot of effort into packaging myself up as a desirable male in the western marriage marketplace when I was looking to marry but some of the things I did were misguided – like building a beautiful body because I thought it would be attractive to women. It is much more attractive to gay men and ladyboys than it ever was to genetic women.

I am no longer looking to marry back in the West and I have removed myself from this marketplace. I refuse to participate in a rigged game and for the foreseeable future my time and money will be spent in Pattaya, Thailand engaging in paid encounters with women and ladyboys on my twice-yearly trips. It is a far better feeling spending time in that marketplace than in the western marriage marketplace and I get to deal with HONEST people without any underhanded agendas this way.

Gentlemen – I am entering the public eye with photos and video of myself. You will know me by the mask I will wear in all my future multimedia.

Until next time – all the best!

The Pretender

The Price Of Our Thailand Freedom Is Guilt And Shame Back Home

The Price Of Our Thailand Freedom Is Guilt And Shame Back Home

Written by: The Pretender

October 28th, 2013

8 min read

Original published URL:


Dear Stickman readers,

In this article I would like to talk about the price we pay for our freedom from monogamous relationships in the West and the impact that our independent travels to Thailand has on those who make up our work and social groups.

Let’s start by discussing the lot of the average married man. What does this man have to endure day after day due to his decision to follow the life script that society has told him that he must follow? What do you see when you look in the eyes of the average married man? Are his eyes beaming with happiness or do you see blankness – a kind of dead look staring back at you?

The average miserably married man doesn’t get respect at work and he certainly doesn’t get it at home. He works an average job for an average wage. Wherever he turns he is put down, criticised and condemned – perhaps not overtly but certainly under the surface. He has a wife at home who’s job it is to control him lest he have dangerous thoughts of being a free man and doing what comes naturally to him and to all men – fxxxing as many beautiful women as possible. His wife nags him, criticises him, controls him, reminds him that nothing he ever does is right and that he needs to earn more money so she can spend it on useless nick knacks for the house. He needs to ‘man up’ and give her more money, more stuff so she can lead the life of the women she looks up to – the ones in her peer group and those on television and in the media who are beautiful and have married men who are taller, better looking, more muscular, higher status, higher earning men than her husband will ever be. It’s all about her – her wants, her needs, her desires and it’s always for more – never less – and it never ends. This is the woman who long ago stopped looking after herself and has gained considerable weight since the happiest day of her life – the day her man signed his life away – her wedding day. He has to deal with her negativity and constant demands for more every day – for the rest of his life.

You see – a man in his situation is between a rock and a hard place. If he doesn’t please his wife then he doesn’t get sex – and sex is something he is desperate for – after all – that’s why he got married in the first place. A man like you Mr Thailand adventurer – and your sex tourist buddies are a threat to her because you lot represent that which her husband has long since given up – his freedom. Her husband comes home and tells his wife about you and your crazy Thailand adventures. She listens to the stories her husband tells her about you going off having sex with beautiful people in exotic locations and alarm bells start going off in her head because you are close to her husband and are giving him dangerous ideas, which are a direct threat to her and her family. She knows only too well the true nature of men and what they really want because when she was younger and beautiful she was constantly viewed as a sex object by horny young men who would say and do anything to get into her pants. She knows that her husband is no different and if he were like the alpha males that she used to have sex with then she would never have married him – he would have had far too many options – he wouldn’t have been the “marrying type”. She can’t have you Mr Thailand adventurer giving her husband dangerous ideas that threaten her control. So YOU need to be controlled – through guilt and shame.

Guilt and shame. Powerful weapons they are. So powerful that the average man has no defence against them. Guilt and shame are the female of the species primary weapons of control. She knows how effective they are in controlling men. All she has to do is to make her husband feel guilty about some behaviour that she doesn’t like and cut off giving him sex and he will quickly stop that behaviour. If he doesn’t stop his behaviour then a strong dosage of shame is required – that will get him firmly under her control. She knows guilt and shame work brilliantly in controlling men as she witnessed mother using these weapons on her father when she was growing up. All her married friends sing the praises of guilt and shame when they get together to bitch, moan and complain about how their husbands are not living up to their standards and how jealous they all are of their beautiful model friend Erin who’s husband is a captain of industry and a leader of men who just earned another multi million dollar quarterly bonus.

So you go into work or you catch up with your married buddy and you can’t understand why he doesn’t treat you the same as he used to. He just seems different for some reason – like he doesn’t want to hear your stories of freedom anymore. Your male co-workers also seem a bit off. Word has gotten around – hushed tones prevail in the workplace “he is off to Pattaya again…what a filthy sex tourist…word is he also has sex with ladyboys…what a pervert” – a black cloud hangs over your head Mr Thailand adventurer – a cloud formed by the female borg collective who have you marked as a dangerous man who brings forth words of freedom to the men they are so desperate to control.

What happened?

Guilt and shame is what happened. Your buddy’s wife has used guilt and shame to ensure that he doesn’t follow your lead. He is instructed not to listen to you and to disregard your stories of having sex with those poor, uneducated Thai prostitutes who are “only interested in your money” – unlike her who of course is interested in her husbands personhood as a man and only wants what is best for him. How dare you inspire him with tall tales that there is a way to escape from the toxic western environment – that western women like your buddy’s wife and her “strong, independent female friends” has created lest you create followers – more western men who might also become refugees and escape from the West – to the land of smiles.

So remember Mr Thailand adventurer – there is a price to pay for your freedom. That price is guilt and shame. You are now the subject of it and it will be heaped upon you constantly by those around you who claim to be your friends, who claim to care for you and want what’s best for you. Guilt and shame gentlemen – pay the price – and pay it willingly for you have something that your married friends and co-workers do not have. You have something rare and valuable and worth holding on to. You are a free man. Don’t give up your freedom lightly – hell – don’t give it up for anyone or anything! Freedom and autonomy are the most valuable commodities on offer in this – the only life we know for sure we will ever live. You are choosing a path that brings you into close physical contact with beautiful people who don’t complain, don’t nag, don’t criticize you or condemn you and give you great pleasure in an exotic country free from the negative influences of western feminism. Doesn’t matter if you are not tall, good looking, own your own home in a fashionable suburb, have high status or <insert western women’s laundry list of requirements here>. You are now an ‘international dater’. Western women prefer to use the term ‘sex tourist’ to describe you. Notice that sex tourist sounds so shameful? Interesting…

You want to live the life of an international dater in places like Pattaya Thailand? The price is guilt and shame. Throw in lack of respect as well from your fellow country men (though you didn’t really have much of that anyway did you?). The price is hatred from western women. The price is losing your married male “friends”. There is a price attached to everything in life and people do judge you on your actions. Your actions are a reminder – a powerful jolt and a wake up call to the mass of men you know who are slaves to fat, moody, irritable, aging wives and screaming and yelling children.

Gentlemen – the Pretender – that filthy sex tourist / international dater will escape from the West shortly and will be in Pattaya, Thailand from the 23rd November – 16th December 2013. Should you want to catch up and exchange tales of freedom – the Pattaya Beer Garden is my favourite dinner destination prior to a motorcycle ride to Soi 6 or Soi Buakhao.

All the best!

The Pretender

Stickman says:

Interesting perspective which strikes me as kind of provocative but hey, perhaps that is how things are where you come from. I find that my married friends back in Farangland are happier than my married friends in Thailand, although it should be pointed out that my married friends in Farangland are married to women of various nationalities including an Aussie, a Brit, an American, a South African, a few Thais and only one is married to a Kiwi bird.

I am called naive when I say this but if I was ever in a relationship with someone who was as controlling as you describe, that relationship would end. Perhaps easy to say without being in that situation, I know, but there is no way I'd be prepared to live like that.

Why I Became a Pattaya Sex Tourist at Age 33

Why I Became a Pattaya Sex Tourist at Age 33

Written by: The Pretender

October 28th, 2013

8 min read

Original published URL:



In this article I would like to discuss the reasons why I became a sex tourist at the age of 33, what happened in my life that lead me to adopt this lifestyle at a comparatively young age and the impact this lifestyle has had on my overall quality of life.

I have had two major relationships with women in my life. The first was with a feminist. I was 22 and she was 29 when we met. This relationship was rocky to say the least. I was young and very naïve and I did not understand the danger that I was in entering in to a relationship with a woman who had completed a women’s studies degree, worked in HR and was a self-described feminist. At age 22 I did not understand female nature and why women behave the way they do. I had no concept of female hypergamy, did not fully appreciate that all women look to marry up and want a tall, wealthy, high status, financially successful man with a good career, nice home which he owns and a nice car. My father had just died and I had nobody I could trust to guide me. I did not ask myself important questions, which are obvious to me now at age 34:

“Why is this 29-year old woman interested in me as a younger man given I have no real wealth or resources?”

“Why is this 29-year old woman not being hypergamous and looking for a higher status partner like 99% of all women are?”

“If this woman is so good – why is it that she is not yet married and why has she been passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men than me?”

The answers to these questions are obvious to me now – she was interested in me because I was the only man who was naïve enough to hook up with her. She was passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men because she was a ball-breaking obese feminist that caused stress, arguments and pain to whatever man was in or under her sphere of influence. She was willing to set aside her hypergamous instincts for a period of time to catch me due to her extreme loneliness. Note carefully – set aside her hypergamous instincts for a period of time – not disregard them.

As a 22-year-old man with few resources behind me I took what I could get because I wanted sex. Supply and demand dictated that the women I really wanted to be with – young, fertile, beautiful, sweet, innocent, loving and caring were scooped up by older, more established men. Note carefully here that in the sexual marketplace my value was low whilst my 22-year-old beautiful female marketplace participant’s value was extremely high. You have to observe people’s actions and the actions of the entire population of 22-year-old beautiful women that I was exposed to and who were exposed to me were to pass me over and go for the older, more established man – every time. So given the demand for me was low amongst the women I really desired I had to pick amongst the women for whom demand for them from men was also low and then they had to choose me. That meant shacking up with a 29-year-old obese feminist. I had little to no other options at the time. The relationship lasted about 3.5 years and ended due to her becoming increasingly irritating and violent towards the end due to not getting her own way as I refused to submit to her bullshit.

Next relationship was with a 26-year old American woman who was my age equal but not my financial or wealth equal. During my time with Ms Feminist I managed to accumulate a degree of wealth into my retirement funds of approximately 1.5 times my income at the time – wealth I was lucky to hold onto after our separation. My new American partner had substantial educational debt and brought no financial assets to the table. So I was bringing to the table more wealth than her whilst she was bringing her youth and physical attractiveness. The questions I didn’t ask at the time which are obvious to me now at age 34 are:

“Why has this woman never had a long term relationship before?”

“If this woman is so good – why is it that she is not yet married and why has she been passed over by richer, taller, more financially successful men than myself?”

You see – there is a pattern here with women and me. The pattern is – due to my status as a nerd – a lowly computer programmer – the type of man no woman yearns for in romance novels despite me being physically extremely fit, muscular, tall and handsome (as I have been called by many women, gay men and ladyboys especially when they see my fitness modelling photos), I have had to accept relationships with women whom were not my physical equals.

So – after 7 years with American woman I decided to do a Lenny Kravitz. American woman – get away from me. I ended our relationship and I went my own way.

Much of my personal time during my 20s in between my two major relationships was taken up with reading – intense study – especially about men’s issues. Study I engaged in to try to understand and to put into perspective my negative experiences with Ms Feminist. I started reading online about the men’s movement in the early 2000s and I was exposed to a lot of interesting material that caused me to seriously consider ending my relationship with American woman much sooner and going my own way and doing my own thing.

You see – in life you think that there are only three doors that you can walk through which lead in different directions:

Door 1: Marriage and no children
Door 2: Marriage and children
Door 3: Stay single

What I missed was door 4. I missed door 4 because door 4 is invisible to the naked eye and only revels itself to those who reach a level of personal and intellectual development to be able to see it. This only comes with age and experience dealing with women and relationships and getting knocked about repeatedly, watching and learning from other men and seeing patterns with women, society and relationships. Door 4 was made visible to me by the actions of a friend who is in his 50’s who I spent time with at an over 28s nightclub. He was recently divorced and was travelling to Thailand and the Philippines for the purpose of having sex with younger women. When I met this individual I pegged him as a really nice bloke but a bit of a loser but I could not shake the thought that I might be wrong about him because he was a very intelligent, good-looking engineer who was very insightful about life. The more I thought about him, what he was doing and my own experiences with women here in the West the more door 4 started to reveal itself. All my reading and knowledge about men’s issues had started paying dividends and all the pieces were falling into place. A gentlemen going by the pseudonym Stardusk created a YouTube account and his intellectual contribution to my own knowledge caused the last pieces of the puzzle to fall nicely into place. I saw the bigger picture for the first time and door 4 – the hidden door fully revealed itself to me:

Door 4: Go Your Own Way

MGTOW: Men Going Their Own Way. A group of men online who seemed to know a huge amount about relationships with women. A group of men with experience, knowledge and wisdom about the relationship game. A group of men who I saw myself in as they – like me – refused to surrender their will to the social expectations of women and society because both had become extremely hostile to masculinity. A group of men who made me realise that the only way to win the game was not to play it. I needed to disengage from women, walk away from relationships and go my own way – on my terms.

I started thinking about my friend and why a man in his 50’s would become a sex tourist.

What drove my friend to become a sex tourist?

Could it be that he was doing what all men secretly wanted to do?

Could it be that all the women he has dated and all women in general really wanted security, family, monogamy, home ownership, wealth and luxury whilst the man works as a utility to provide these things and my friend was passed over as not good enough – not up to standard in women’s eyes?

Could it be that my friend was simply 16 years older than me, wiser and more experienced and was a sex tourist because of his vast experience with women in the West and not getting his needs met?

I couldn’t shake off the thought that his behaviour – his actions – were actually reactions. Reactions to the toxic relationship environment here in the West that exists between men and women. Reactions to not getting his needs met. Reactions to being treated like a loser by women who saw him only as a utility and a resource and because he didn’t earn a huge amount of money or meet their ridiculously high standards he was invisible to them.

Then I thought more about him as a man: Why is he not attracted to women his age?

Why are many men when they age attracted to younger and younger women? If this is biology and if this is how I too will become then why do I want to commit to any one woman now when that woman will age, start nagging and complaining at an ever accelerating rate and I will become less attracted to them over time?

I had many questions and all sorts of thoughts were running through my head. I was still in a relationship with American woman at the time and I remember sitting at work staring at my computer monitor and thinking about my friend the sex tourist and his behaviour, recalling books, articles and knowledge I had picked up from the manosphere about women, relationships, men and so on. I was unhappy in my relationship at the time and I knew I would end it soon so finally I just said “f*ck it”, got online and booked a 2 week holiday to Pattaya, Thailand. I had to go and see if that path held any appeal to me.

That decision changed my life.

It changed my life for the better in so many ways that I cannot express my gratitude to my friend the sex tourist. The man I originally thought was a bit of a loser. The man I unfairly judged through the dirty lens I was looking through – the lens of my relationship with my American woman and the lens of the society I was brought up in. A man who I now have much respect for as he followed his heart and did what he wanted to do – against the interests and wishes of western women and western society. A man who chose a path of freedom instead of succumbing to the path of tyranny that is the lot of too many of our brothers.

On my first trip to Pattaya in November 2012 I had to make a decision as I sat down at a bar in Walking Street and had a conversation with a stunningly beautiful ladyboy for the first time in my life. I had to decide if I was going to have sex with this person. To engage in an act which I had been raised never to do. To try something I had never tried before with a person who was so different, so exotic and so physically and sexually attractive to me that I found them very difficult to resist.

Having sex with that ladyboy was the second decision that changed my life.

It changed my life in ways that for me personally gave me a lot of freedom. I now knew that because I could go both ways and was a bisexual, I knew that now I could no longer be controlled by any woman as I had options – dangerous options. Options no woman in her right mind would accept for any man she was in a relationship with. Why should she? It would be against her self-interest, not to mention the interest of the sisterhood, which would cause her no end of shaming for being with a man like me. A woman’s first thought is her own self-interest, then her child’s, then her family's and then her man's – Google “Titanic Death Statistics” if you don’t believe me and note carefully – there were no feminists on that ship as it was sinking.

How could a man like me ever be put under a woman’s thumb and be controlled when I could simply choose to engage in unbelievably mind blowing sexual encounters with ladyboys who are on the same level and up for it like me as a guy? Why would I choose the monotonous, boring life that I had been living before in monogamous heterosexual relationships with all that nagging and complaining with a bitchy, moody, irritating woman who was getting older, fatter and more irritating by the day when I could choose door 4 – Going My Own Way – to Thailand, to engage in paid sexual and escort encounters with ladyboys and choose to voluntarily disengage from women back home in the West, to live alone and to come and go as I pleased and do the things I wanted to do with my time and my money.

So – why did I become a sex tourist?

I became a sex tourist because I started looking at women as they really are – not how I wanted them to be but how they really are. What their actions dictated they really wanted. How they were not on the same level as me sexually as a man – I could find many examples of gay saunas throughout history but absolutely no examples of lesbian saunas. The proof was staring at me the whole time but I was blind to it or refused to see it and accept it.

I became a sex tourist because I wanted a variety of stunningly beautiful, young women and ladyboys and I wanted the freedom that went with that lifestyle. I wanted to be able to walk away afterwards. I wanted freedom and autonomy above all other things in life.

I became a sex tourist because I love the feeling of being lusted after sexually by beautiful ladyboys.

I became a sex tourist because I wanted $x to be a known figure unlike in a relationship where $x has a question mark after it – who knows how much a relationship is going to cost you financially? In many cases close friends of mine have lost everything and have had to start again not from scratch, but from debt. That's a bad position to be in!

I became a sex tourist because for the longest time I lived with irritation – like an itch I couldn’t scratch. An underlying irritation that women were not up for sex the way I was and were never going to be on the same level as me as a man in that department. They saw me as a success object first and foremost and it was my job to satisfy their ever increasing primary female need for security at the expense of my primary male need for freedom.

Being a sex tourist in Pattaya at age 34 is a surreal experience. It is like being a guest at a party that is scheduled to be held for you in the future except it is being held a minimum of 10 years too early. Why did you arrive to your party so early, Sir? You look around and you see many older gentlemen in their mid 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and early 70’s who you suspect might very well be your sex tourist peers judging by the way they behave and the ladies, ladyboys or young men that are accompanying them around town. You see your future as you look at these gentlemen and with it you see freedom, autonomy and a known figure for $x.

Freedom from the tyranny of committed, monogamous relationships in the West.

Freedom to associate with Thai women or ladyboys and to have some of the best sexual encounters of your lifetime with some of the most stunningly beautiful people both inside and out that you have ever met.

Freedom from the nagging, complaining, bitching, moaning and other crap from women in the West who are never happy, cannot be made happy and will forever be driven by this unhappiness (which I believe is biologically based) to seek ever greater levels of wealth and luxury at the expense of your time, your money and your happiness.

So here we are. I am a 34 year old western sex tourist who f*cks women and ladyboys in Thailand. It took 15 years since I lost my virginity to get to this point in time. I am the reaction to the environment and situation on the ground in the West. Shame on me for daring to choose a path of freedom in the face of tyranny instead of shutting up and being a dutiful slave to women and society. For the ladies – make sure you keep your husbands away from me lest I give them dangerous ideas and beguile them with tales of freedom.

As I walked around Pattaya with a 27-year old 6'2'' tall ladyboy (my height), we attracted a large amount of attention everywhere we went. Good. That is the way it is going to be. Yes I am OK with this. Yes I am holding his / her hand. Yes – I am aware this is a ladyboy and not a woman. Great. This makes me happy. I am proud to be seen with this person and you Russians giving me the dirty looks like you want to kill me, I forgive you and I ask only that you please allow me to walk by in the future without such hatred in your eyes directed towards me and my partner for the night. Perhaps next time I will give you a piece of paper with a hyperlink on it which will take you to a private section of my personal website which has some home video I shot of my fat, irritating, ex girlfriends giving me shit about ridiculous, stupid things. Perhaps then you will understand that these ladyboys are more attractive both inside and out and have better bodies than any western woman I have ever been with back in the West ever in my life. Please forgive me for treading this path.

To think all the fantastic experiences I have had over the past year have been due to ending my engagement with my ex and refusing to marry her. If you ever see me back in a long-term relationship in the West with a western woman you will know that I have really f*cked up bad.

Yes, I can honestly say that I have f*cked better-looking and more spiritually beautiful men. Ha!

Merry Christmas Gentlemen and all the best for 2014!

The Pretender

Stickman's thoughts:

Brilliant! I just wish every submission could be this good.

Ladyboy Lovers

Ladyboy Lovers

Written by: The Pretender

December 27th, 2013

15 min read

Original published URL:


Ladyboy lovers – it’s time we had a frank and open chat about proctitis, anal fissures and urinary tract infections – they can ruin your entire holiday


My recent trip to Pattaya has unfortunately been marred by a nasty case of proctitis and a urinary tract infection which came about due to an anal fissure. These conditions caused me the most pain, inconvenience and worry that I have ever experienced in my entire 34 years of life. I warn you – this article may be too graphic for some readers. <He is not joking, this is VERY graphic and anyone uncomfortable with the idea of sex with ladyboys really should stop reading here – Stick> It is an important article however because if I can help just one ladyboy lover avoid my fate then it will have been worthwhile spending the time writing it.

Proctitis: An inflammation of the anus and the lining of the rectum affecting the last 6 inches of the rectum.

Anal Fissure: A tear or split in the lining of the anus.

Urinary Tract Infection: an infection that affects part of the urinary tract.

Before I start this article I would like to make it known that of all the risk factors that I had in my spreadsheet regarding avoiding HIV, STDs etc when dealing with ladyboys – I did not even fathom that I was at high risk of proctitis and an anal fissure due to my lifestyle of engaging in receptive anal sex with ladyboys in Pattaya.

I had absolutely no idea how incredibly painful and debilitating proctitis and an anal fissure could be and how much it could seriously negatively affect a man's quality of life and ruin a holiday and I am writing this article so that my ladyboy loving peers may avoid my painful fate by engaging in risk minimisation strategies together with ensuring that you have all the medication you will require should you go through a nasty experience similar to mine.

There are three possible theories to what caused my proctitis and anal fissure:

1. The Pretender's theory 1: hard receptive anal sex with a 25 year old ladyboy (who had a larger than average penis for a Thai which was twisted when erect) on my first night in Pattaya which led to a tear in the anus (an anal fissure) which led to proctitis which led to a bacterial infection which led to a month of agony.

2. The Pretender's theory 2: a ladyboys long (possibly dirty) finger nail caused a small cut in my anus which led to proctitis which led to a bacterial infection which led to a month of agony.

3. The Pretender's Doctor's theory: a drastic and sudden change from my bodybuilding diet lead to constipation which led to the passing of hard stools which led to an anal fissure which led to proctitis which led to a bacterial infection which led to a month of agony.

The most plausible theory in my opinion as to the cause of my incredibly painful episode of proctitis with an anal fissure is either my first or second theory with me leaning towards my first theory – hard receptive anal sex with a ladyboy causing a tear in my anus. I have ruled out my doctor’s theory, as I don’t recall being constipated nor passing a hard stool. I was open and honest with my doctor about my lifestyle in Pattaya as well yet he still thought that it was most likely caused by constipation and a hard stool causing a tear in the anus.

I would like to talk about my symptoms, which started on the evening of the 28th November. I started to feel very sick and I went to bed early at 8:30 pm, which there was not much point in doing because of the Pattaya fireworks festival, which went on until after 11:00 PM and kept me wide awake due to the noise. My first symptom was a high temperature / fever together with a feeling of being very cold with my teeth chattering and unusually for me – an enlarged left lymph node in my groin which I had never in my life ever felt enlarged. I took some Paracetamol for this and thought that I had possibly just caught a bug of some kind and would be OK in the morning. In the morning I woke up and felt OK really and I went out that night and stayed out until after 1:00 AM at Sensations Bar in Action St. The next day I rested and felt generally OK so I went out again that night. I had some problems with pain in the anal area which I mentioned to a ladyboy I had spent time with earlier on my trip and I told her that it was a no go area from now on. To my complete surprise she opened her handbag and gave me something called Sheriproct and told me to use it on my anus and that it would help relieve the pain and irritation I was experiencing. I used the product and it was OK but not great. The ladyboy told me of another product which was a local cream anaesthetic called Lidocaine which was better and that I should definitely buy it. I took a mental note of this given the pain I was in.

The next day I started having incredible pain and suffering when defecating, straining to get anything out and I could not urinate and I was starting to get more body aches and muscle pains and was in all sorts of trouble. I decided to get an early night but woke up the next day feeling worse so I decided to go to the hospital. The doctor checked me out and recommended I go to another hospital. I didn’t want to do this as I had already wasted 3 hours at this hospital. The doctor didn’t even give me anything for the pain or for the infection. I am not even going to begin getting into the waste of time that visit to that brand new hospital was for me. Anyway – that useless hospital visit irritated me so I went back to my hotel and researched my symptoms and came to the self-diagnosis (which I know you shouldn’t do but I was desperate) that I had an anal fissure and proctitis together with a very nasty bacterial and urinary tract infection. The solution to the infection was to take some antibiotics called ciprofloxacin. The muscle aches could be helped with voltaren and ibuprofen. I walked into a chemist and bought the voltaren and the ibuprofen and I was given the Lidocaine for free because the pharmacist told me it had already been opened and she could not sell it to me and had no other in stock. I thought to myself how ridiculous the situation was and how that would never happen back in the West! I was happy to get it for free but I would have paid a lot for it regardless because I was in such pain.

So I start taking the antibiotics, which really helped me very quickly within a day – I could now urinate again which was a relief. I still had pain when defecating but not as bad as before. I actually felt somewhat happy despite still being in pain – at least I wasn’t in the kind of pain that a man needs to be in to go to the hospital like I did the previous day. The antibiotics must have cleared up the bacterial infection.

The next day I was still not feeling well and had very painful muscles, a very sore back, pain on defecating and an overall sick and nauseous feeling. I struggled on and got an early night.

The day after I woke up in incredible pain. I was in absolute despair and felt like I would never get better. I kept thinking – how long is it going to take me to get over this? I was popping the antibiotics, voltaren and ibuprofen constantly and I was bleeding profusely when defecating. As the night approached however I started feeling a bit better so I went out. The next day however the muscle aches and pain continued but the pain on the toilet was not as bad and I thought that I was on the mend at last. The next few days were similar and I still felt unwell. It had been a full 7 days since I had exercised – I have never gone more than 3 days without running or lifting weights in the past few years. This condition had destroyed my health and fitness.

My sickness log ends at this point because by all accounts the indication was that my computer hard drive had crashed which caused me utter and complete despair as I could not write articles for Stickman about my experiences as I wanted to whilst I was in Pattaya. My backup was at home and I could not restore the hard drive here nor even reload the operating system as I did not have the DVDs and the DVD drive on the computer was broken anyway. It was the 10th December at this point and I still had another 7 days in Thailand to go. For this time I basically kept taking the antibiotics, ibuprofen and voltaren and this made my condition manageable but still very irritating. Fast forward to the 17th December – it was time for me to fly home but I am still very sick. I had incredible constipation and had not defecated for 2 days and try all I might I could not get anything out. I woke up at 2:00 AM and made my way to Bangkok airport for an early morning flight and boarded the plane and the entire 9-hour trip home I could not defecate. I was OK urinating however but it was painful with a burning sensation. It took until I got home before I could defecate and it was minimal.

Between the 18th December to the 25th December it has still been going on. It has been almost one whole month now! I am still taking ibuprofen and voltaren together now with laxatives, coloxyl and antihistamines. I needed the antihistamines the pharmacist at home said because after stopping the antibiotics I had some kind of allergic reaction which has caused intense itching all over my body especially at night when I am trying to sleep. I have never felt anything like it and it has caused me issues sleeping. The itching is slightly better for each day I have stopped the antibiotics and is better right after taking an antihistamine. My sleep is also all over the place (which is very unusual for me and a sign that my body is not right) but I am thankful that I no longer bleed when defecating and that I can actually defecate OK. I still have a slight fever, lethargy and muscle aches, which are not anywhere near as bad as before and are manageable but I am still popping ibuprofen and voltaren constantly throughout the day. I have been able to get some exercise and back to my morning and afternoon running together with lifting weights but it is a struggle and my energy levels and fitness has taken an absolute beating. My left groin lymph node has gone back down but is still not completely back to normal.

My symptoms in aggregate:

* Bloody stools
* Tingling, tickling or itching sensation in my anus
* Very enlarged left groin lymph node
* Incredible, excruciating pain when defecating. Pain to the point that I was gripping the toilet wall or placing a towel in my mouth and screaming in agony
* Rectal bleeding with lots of blood in the toilet bowl including dripping blood from my anus
* High fever and chills, chattering teeth, feeling of being too cold mostly or sometimes too hot
* Inability to urinate unless attempting to defecate, which would bring on urination
* Inability to defecate (constipation)
* Night sweats and wet pillow when back home
* Straining to empty my bowels
* A feeling of not having emptied my bowels
* Cramping and spasms during bowel movements
* Yellow mucus and pus when wiping my anus
* Poor sleep when back home (which did not occur in Pattaya so I am guessing it may be related to some jet lag)
* Incredible all over body itching
* Incredible itching of the anus
* Inability to exercise due to all over body weakness, lethargy and all over muscle aches and pains
* Incredible lethargy
* Burning pain when urinating
* Painful ejaculations with yellow coloured ejaculate together with burning pain (a real dampener considering this is Pattaya – who cares if it happened back in boring Australia where I live in voluntary celibacy without a partner for 11 months of the year)

Important lessons that I have learned from this terrible and unfortunate experience that some would say God brought about because he hates my lifestyle (and me personally of course):

Engaging in receptive anal sex with a condom with ladyboys or getting a fingernail too close to the anus can cause a tear in the anus, which can cause a nasty infection, which can completely ruin your entire holiday. As such I have reconsidered engaging in receptive anal sex with new ladyboy partners and I will only engage in this practice with ladyboys who are known to me and that I trust, will use plenty of lubricant and will take my time and take it slowly. No rough anal sex and certainly not with new ladyboy partners. I will also not allow a ladyboy's fingernail anywhere near my anus ever again.

Other lessons:

– Do not leave home without Metamucil (fibre supplement which I couldn’t find in the Western supermarket near my hotel and didn’t want to go hunting for all over town)
– Do not leave home without laxatives
– Do not leave home without lubricant (I didn’t but thought I would mention it. Lubricant was somewhat useful on several occasions when attempting to pass stools and to help the fissure to heal without bleeding again)
– Do not leave home without a local anaesthetic cream
– Do not leave home without scheriproct
– Do not leave home without voltaren/diclofenac potassium (expensive in Thailand I thought)
– Do not leave home without ibuprofen
– Do not leave home without stool softeners Coloxyl 120
– Do not leave home without antihistamines
– Do not leave home without travel insurance (that was really stupid of me)
– Talk with a doctor here about taking a broad based antibiotic with me in that will clear up a general bacterial infection without me having to stuff around researching and self-diagnosing online and walking into Thai chemists to buy antibiotics.
– Buy a 2nd solid state hard drive and clone it on a regular basis (purchased). Take this clone with me with my laptop when travelling. Take my laptop screwdrivers as well and if the hard drive fails, just pop in the clone. If the hard drive ribbon connector fails (which was the actual cause of my problem it turns out and not a hard drive crash) then I can buy this at the Apple Store at Central Festival Plaza. Take USB keys with the Apple Operating System on them and Disk Warrior on another USB key so I can at least get up and running again and work around my broken DVD drive.

Anyway, that is my tale of woe gentlemen. It’s a bad one – and proctitis, anal fissures and urinary tract infections are something I never considered as conditions I could get nor listed as risk factors for my Pattaya lifestyle. Conditions I now consider to be a serious risk with serious and painful consequences when engaging with ladyboys in Pattaya.

When my ladyboy friend opened her handbag and gave me scheriproct it made me think that anal conditions must be very common or else – why was she carrying such a product on her person? I expect that this article may pique the interests of ladyboy lovers who may email me to share similar experiences of woe. I am happy to hear from you gentlemen.

There will be some who will say I deserved this for being stupid or for going against Gods wishes and so on. My late father always said to me “Son, if you lay down with dogs you will get up with fleas”. “Son – that AIDS is a death sentence”. “Son – even if you don’t go looking for trouble – trouble find you one day”. I could go on but I won't…

Important lessons learned gentlemen – learned the hard way as well and this is an important article that I had to write for your benefit. Spreadsheet of risk factors has been carefully amended. May you be wise men can learn from the misfortunes of The Pretender who’s ego has been seriously bruised and has been humbled by how easily even a very fit and healthy human body like his can be broken and reduced to a shivering and aching mess by a small tear in the anus.

Rest assured – I will crawl my way back to health and fitness until I am back to sprinting up hills again and lifting very heavy weights and let me promise you this: I will be back in Pattaya come hell or high water – fit, lean, muscular and healthy ready for my next engagements with the Pattaya ladyboys this time next year.

Take it the bank gentlemen.

All the best!

The Pretender


Stickman's thoughts:

For the purposes of education there are some things that need to be talked about openly….but that doesn't mean that talking about them openly is particularly palatable.

If any readers were ladyboy curious I reckon they might now be ladyboy-petrified!

It does also make me wonder about this thing where some of those who go for ladyboys don't just fxxx, they get fxxxed. That is just such an incredibly horrific thought that I cannot get my head around how some rationalise it!

I am no expert on these things but I've heard from a few people that Ibuprofen is nasty stuff and best avoided, but then that is coming from someone who darn near refuses to take any drugs or put any chemicals in to his body.

All Eyes On Us – Taking a 6f2” Tall Ladyboy out for Dinner in Pattaya

All Eyes On Us – Taking a 6f2” Tall Ladyboy out for Dinner in Pattaya

Written by: The Pretender

December 31st, 2013

10 min read

Original published URL:


All eyes on us – taking a 6f'2'' tall ladyboy out for dinner in Pattaya

I would to talk in this article about the first time I took a ladyboy out to dinner.

I will not mention this ladyboy's name, as she is well-known in Pattaya's naughty nightlife and I would like to protect her identity.

Please forgive me for using the term “her” as I know this upsets some readers who believe I should be using “him” in all references to ladyboys. I use her as a measure of respect as they are presenting as a woman and would like to be treated and respected as such.

The first time I laid eyes on her in soi 6 I was astonished as this 6f'2'' tall (my height) 27-year old, beautiful ladyboy in high heels came prancing up to me beaming with a beautiful smile, put her arms around my waist and lifted me up in to the air. The body of a supermodel with the strength of a man. Amazing Thailand!

I spent time with this ladyboy over the course of a few weeks and I really liked her. She was a lot of fun to be with and I enjoyed speaking to her in both English and Thai and we both felt that we had really good rapport. The sex was fantastic and we both always had a great time and she told me I was a really good customer for her because I was handsome, well dressed, fit and muscular and younger than her other customers and I also paid her well and treated her with respect and dignity.

I arranged with her to meet at the bar she worked at in Soi 6 and for the two of us to go out for dinner together. No thoughts of love, monogamy, commitment or any of that guff was going through my head. I only wanted to take this person out and have a nice dinner and a good conversation and get to know her a little better.

I shower and get dressed up and leave my hotel and make my way to Soi 6 on the back of a motorcycle taxi. I get dropped off right outside the bar she works at. I walk in, pay her barfine and off we walk into the night. I ask her what restaurant she would like to eat at – “up to you” she says. I remind her that I am new here and I would like to know where she would prefer to eat. We walk together down Beach Road past many bars and restaurants and I get the impression that she wants to eat at a restaurant in Central Festival Plaza so that is where we head to.

I would like to discuss the walk from Soi 6 to Central Festival Plaza. I was dressed in an expensive nicely fitted fashion shirt, black dress pants and dress shoes. She was conservatively dressed in a dress and high heels. As I walked hand in hand with this 6f2” tall conservatively dressed physically beautiful ladyboy it felt like all eyes were on us because they were! The entire walk we were stared at by tourists and some of the looks in the eyes of these people were priceless. The Russians looked like they wanted to kill me and were preparing to gather their forces and arm themselves to the teeth. The overweight, bitter and miserable looking Western women my age and younger that we passed had an astonished look in their eyes – like I was committing a cardinal sin by not being with them or one of their sisters instead. How dare I choose to go against the sisterhood and use my resources for my own purposes instead of on them. They couldn’t understand why a white, 6f'2” tall, fit, muscular and well dressed 34 year old western handsome man heading towards the peak of his attractiveness as a man (in their eyes) would dare step outside social norms and be seen walking around town with a ladyboy. I enjoyed the looks from the western women the most because inside I thought about all the bad experiences I had accumulated over the years with them and how this was my time for fun. No longer would I care what they thought because I knew that they only wanted to make me into a utility and a resource provider to satisfy their never ending demands for more. We received stares from men sitting in bars drinking. Some of the stares were warm and I could tell these men were OK with what I was doing. Some of the stares were looks of disgust. Some were dirty looks. I looked around and observed that everywhere we walked we attracted attention. Some people pointed at us, some covered their mouths and whispered to their friends about us and so on. I kept thinking to myself:

“This is Pattaya – Sin city – why is this not accepted? These ladyboys are part of the social fabric here are they not?”

“I don’t know if I feel comfortable with this.”

I said to my partner “Are you used to attracting this much attention everywhere you go?”

She said yes – that was normal for her but we were attracting more attention because we were together and I was handsome and well dressed and most people are not well dressed in Pattaya.

Finally I thought to myself: “F*ck em – this is what I want to do and I am fine with being seen with this person and holding their hand – if other people have a problem with this then that is their problem and not mine”.

As we approached Central Festival Plaza we were spotted and stopped by two friends of my ladyboy partner – one was a Thai woman and the other a Thai ladyboy. They kept staring at me and the three of them spoke in Thai. I carefully observed their body language and picked up some of what they were saying given my 600 hours study of the language this year. They had looks of astonishment on their faces and their body language indicated that they found me very attractive and a good catch and how lucky their friend was to be with me. That was interesting but I anticipated this before my trip as I knew that a western boyfriend was a status symbol amongst this group of people for many reasons including money, security, maturity and so on. As soon as I opened my mouth and introduced myself in Thai, asked them how they were going, told them I was very pleased to meet them, asked them how they knew my ladyboy partner and so on they were amazed that I could speak Thai so well. As we said our goodbyes they turned to my ladyboy partner and the look in their eyes could only be described as “hang onto this guy with both hands – he could be your ticket out”. That body language book by Alan Pease I studied so intently as a teenager came in very handy!

So we enter Central Festival Plaza and we go all the way to the top level to a Thai restaurant. It was really very cheap and I was surprised because I thought that I would probably be lead to Sizzler or one of the other more expensive restaurants. We ate our meal and had a good conversation in both English and Thai. Speaking both languages was a real help to make things clear and was valuable in making ourselves understood to each other. My ladyboy partner did not speak much English so we mostly spoke with each other in Thai. I have no regrets spending so much time this year learning Thai – it was vital in having a deeper level of cultural experiences.

After dinner we went out to play pool at a pool hall in Soi Buakhaow. I noted that we didn’t attract too much attention in that place which was great. We played a few games of pool and then went back to my hotel. This was the first time that I had ever brought anyone back to my hotel before, as I had always preferred to use the short time rooms attached to the bars. The hotel staff and guests stared at me and one of the staff members who looked gay had a smirk on his face. I kept thinking of the movie Pretty Woman when Richard Gere takes Julia Roberts back to his hotel and all eyes are on them:

[A well-dressed couple observe Edward and the scantily-clad Vivian as an elevator arrives.]
Vivian: Well, color me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!
[The man moves to enter, but his wife stops him. A chagrined Edward turns to the couple.]
Edward: First time in an elevator.
Woman: Ah.
[Edward enters. The woman turns to her husband.]
Woman: Close your mouth, dear.

I learned that people stare longer if it’s a ladyboy as it takes them a bit longer to figure it out – mentally the thought must be:

“Is that a woman or a man? I think it might be a man. She is too tall to be a woman. She is very beautiful. And look who she is with…I had better stop staring and look away”.

Time it – that thought takes about six seconds. Six seconds from the initial look to the look away.

Cut to Pulp Fiction:

Winston Wolf: If I’m curt with you it’s because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you to guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fuckin' car. (he leaves the room)

Vincent: (to Jules) Don’t be looking at me like that, all right? I can feel your look.

I can feel it all right.

I kept wanting to shout out to people “Yes – this is a ladyboy” “Yes – I am OK with this”, “No – you don’t need to warn me” and so on. After a while it became tiresome. Better get used to it though Pretender because this is the reality of being seen around town with ladyboys – something you have chosen to do Mr freedom and liberty lover – Mr man going his own way. I imagined walking around town back in Sydney or Melbourne, Australia and what the reactions would be. Better learn to defend yourself Pretender if you bring a ladyboy back to your home suburb because the lovely, open-minded and respectful bogans that live beside you in your suburb are just itching for a reason to fight and you better defend yourself faggot being seen with that freak. Fight you pussy – fight!

My ladyboy partner for the night told me that she is spending 3 months out of Thailand overseas in a country that will remain nameless. Looks like she has a sponsor there who likes her enough to fly her over to be with him. Good luck to them. When she told me the country and area however I was shocked and told her to be very careful. What the hell is this guy thinking taking her out of Thailand to a place where she will be under constant threat just walking down the street?

Anyway – what are the lessons here from this adventure?

What can be learned about people when you are seen walking around with a ladyboy?

Lesson 1: People in general are fearful of that which they don’t understand. Gender is important and transsexuals are operating and living their lives outside gender norms and this generates fear and mistrust in many people.

Lesson 2: Be a bridge – between cultures and people. By learning the Thai language and spending a month with Thai ladyboys you have gained an understanding of these beautiful people with kind hearts who have to fight for everything they have and for acceptance from mainstream society. It is now your responsibility to help raise the consciousness of others in your life as to the gifts and talents that the people belonging to the third-gender bring to the world. Develop friendships with them and be proud of being seen with them and in helping them in any way you can.

All the best gentlemen!

The Pretender

Dear John – From One Male Model to Another

Dear John – From One Male Model to Another

Written by: The Pretender

January 11th, 2014

16 min read

Original published URL:


Hi John,

I enjoyed your article 'Farangs Looking for Love in Thailand Are Losers" and I would like to offer this submission not as a rebuttal but simply as a further piece of analysis which may help to explain why western male losers look for love in Thailand.

So John – what is a loser?

In the eyes of western society (in other words – in the eyes of western women), a loser is always a member of the male sex (for a loser cannot be female – there are no female losers) who:

1. Is not tall enough (at least 6 foot tall but not over 6 foot 4)
2. Does not earn enough money to support himself as well as her and any offspring that she may have with him in the manner to which she demands (without her having to resort to working of course).
3. Is not high status enough – in other words he:
a. Does not wear the right uniform for her that indicates his disposability as a male – whether that be fireman, doctor, police officer, army, navy or air force officer or business suit and tie
b. Does not own a home in the 'right' area – a high status area (expensive), preferably in a 'good' (expensive) school district
c. Drives an economical car (something that would not be appropriate for picking up the kids on the morning and afternoon school runs – could you imagine the reactions of the other mothers?)
d. Does not have at least a bachelors university degree or has a degree that is beneath hers and/or is a degree that is not useful for obtaining a high income (for conversion into hard resources of course like said home in high status area which she can't afford on her own)
e. Earns less than she does and/or is in a work role that is beneath her level of career success
4. Is 'too selfish' – in other words – he looks after his own financial and economical interests in an enlightened and self-interested manner. He budgets methodically, saves and invests his money and keeps his wealth in places which do not attract unwanted attention from women – for example: index funds, retirement accounts, stocks, savings accounts and so on. Due to investing a good proportion of his income he has little left over for what he regards as frivolous spending on large mortgages, expensive homes and cars.
5. Refuses to share his financial resources with her in any way because western feminism has taught him well that men and women are now equal and women don't really need men, their labour or their resources anymore – they don't do they? Who thought some men would take this idea of equality so literally? Surely he understands that is not true equality she seeks (dying on the battlefield, jobs on oil rigs, garbage woman, etc) but merely equality when it suits her?
6. Refuses to pander or submit to women and society. That is – he understands that as a male he is required to be subservient to western women and society and to serve her interests at all times if he wants to have a relationship or have access to regular sex.
7. Is a Stickman reader or worse – a Stickman writer or worse again – a Stickman reader and writer and is a regular traveller to Thailand and thus must be a dirty, filthy 'sex tourist' who abuses the 'poor, subservient Thai women who have 'no other choice but to work as prostitutes' and <insert more tired western feminist clap trap here>. I hear a violin playing gentlemen…
8. Hangs around other sex tourists or bar owners in Thailand who also for some strange reason, like himself seem to have a very acute understanding of the female of the species. Birds of a feather flock together, a man is known by the company that he keeps… and all that.
9. My be divorced, living in a small apartment and paying child support – she understands that he has few resources and that which he does have will for many years be diverted away from her.
10. Dresses poorly (low status clothes)
11. Associates with other 'lowly' men

You see John – I believe that I have a very good understand of western women, the way they operate and what they want. This has come from far too much experience dealing with them over the years in a corporate environment, being in relationships with them both short and long term and in listening closely to what they say but most importantly – watching what they do – the actions that they take – both the women in my life, the women I work with in the corporate world as well as the women in wider society.

Like yourself John I am genetically blessed. I too have done male modelling. I was able to do this when I was in my 20's (I am 34 now) because I had the 'right look' for a western man – facially attractive, tall (6f2") with a muscular and very lean body which looks good in clothes and photographs well. A look that you know is attractive to women as well as to gay men because as a good looking man like myself you too must attract attention from gay men. I guess my point here is – have you ever noticed that the majority of the young, pretty women don't tend to stay with the good looking guys like us but tend to stay with and marry the guys who make themselves disposable (the guys in those uniforms I was talking about) and who are willing to become utilities for women – high status men with economic resources? It helps a lot if the man with resources is tall of course as the female is genetically wired to go for height in men. He certainly doesn't have to be too good looking or too buff – that would mean that he is competing on her turf and this may attract sexual attention from gay men (or worse – Thai ladyboys) and he may decide like myself to try an alternative bisexual lifestyle that would not be in her best interests – he would become uncontrollable and very difficult to manipulate effectively via sex given he can get it so easily elsewhere. Of course – spending resources on himself for nice clothes, nice bags, teeth whitening etc would also divert funds that could have been used by her on 'housekeeping' (lunches with the other mothers).

So John – we are using the term 'loser' because the western man does not live up to the expectations (very high) of society (western women). We know that in the vast majority of cases women marry up and refuse to marry down (how shameful that would be for her in the eyes of the sisterhood). In this western, feminist society (where men and women are equal remember) we know that female hypergamy (marrying up) is still widely practiced by western women. The combination of 'equality' between the sexes and biologically based female hypergamy has created the situation that you see in Thailand with western men with Thai women – a situation that is a REACTION by western men to the toxic environment that has been created in the West under feminism, political correctness and equality. Have you noticed that you almost NEVER see a western woman with a Thai man (for this man has no resources nor status and is beneath her in both earning capacity and wealth attainment. Remember – she will only ever marry up). That treatment you get from western women despite your good looks – I will bet money that it is due to your height (which in her eyes as a western woman is 'short' – yet height is a factor that none of us can control and none of us should feel any shame, guilt or insecurity about) and the perception – perception she has that you are beneath her and not high status enough in her eyes (eyes which have been warped remember from too much western media brainwashing, as well as from other members of the western sisterhood who she knows would be whispering about her daring to defy the sisterhood and to have the nerve to go out with an Asian man). Of course – the thought process amongst the sisterhood is 'Why is Jane dating an Asian man? She has so many options and so many men interested in her because she is so pretty and could easily snare a rich, western husband. She gets offers to go out with rich, high level business executives and last week she was dating a footballer! OMG! (Oh My God!)". It is not a racial thing you understand John – it is a resource thing – the perception of the resource thing is also important. Simply business and the bottom line my friend.


I am a loser John. I am a male '8' on the physical attractiveness scale. This is not worth much if anything for me as a man in the West. As you know – in the industry the female models get paid much more than the male models. If I was however born a female and was an '8' – (my equivalent on the physical attractiveness scale) – I could have easily snared a 9 or 10 man if I was smart and married him whilst I was young and had my youth and beauty. I could have snared the high status man with economic resources. Note – I wouldn't have had to do or be or achieve or perform anything else – just be pretty and turn up. May I suggest that we please pause for a break at this point and go back to my list numbered 1 to 11 and re-read the western females laundry list of requirements for a non 'loser' male (I hope that I haven't missed anything). Perhaps this list can hence be called "Pretenders List" after that dirty, filthy homosexual ladyboy f*cker who came up with it probably while taking up the a*se from some ladyboy in Soi 6. Still – that Pretender guys seems to understand women's choices so maybe we should take some notes from him despite his extreme behaviour…

I must now state Briffault's Law (which as we know cannot be stated too many times):

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

No such association takes place and yet all men need love and affection and there are many good men amongst the 'loser' demographic from which the western female can derive no benefit from association from. Feminism and equality combined with female hypergamy (marrying up) ensures that there is a large number of male losers in the western world and these losers are stable, hard working men with jobs that provide adequate but not huge incomes. I am proud to be part of this demographic and to have learned all about women whilst I was still young and still a loser. I am working on big things in my business which are close to being realised – things that have the possibility to make me a very wealthy man and a target for western women. Best that I learned my lessons young and have recognised the game and how women play it. I have made a move that was completely unexpected of me by all my family and friends: I voluntarily disengaged from the western marriage market and western females and I went my own way to Pattaya, Thailand with the rest of the losers. I made this move after careful thought, much experience in relationships with western women, a lot of introspection, intense study regarding mens issues over many years and watching and observing other peoples actions and reactions.

My theory is that the western men who are looking for love in Thailand are so beaten down and so sick of the bullshit in the West dealing with western women that when they arrive in Thailand it appears that they have lost their minds – but they haven't – not really. Remember that we evolved on the planes of Africa where the sight of an attractive female was rare and had to be fought over and resources provided for access to sex. The man now finds himself on the streets of Pattaya – an unreal environment where beautiful Thai women are everywhere and dressed up in such a sexually appealing way that he can't believe that this environment exists – surely he is dreaming? How easy to get a bit tired of promiscuous sex after a while and to fall in love with a beautiful Thai woman with whom he is treated with kindness, respect, dignity, affection, acceptance and admiration. What a joy to feel positive emotions like ecstasy, serenity, interest, amazement and surprise instead of annoyance, anger, rage, loathing, contempt, disgust, sadness and apprehension (as well as those disgusted sneering looks) like back home in the West dealing with the typical western woman (in nightclubs for example when she can't determine your status and thus must treat all men in that environment the same – with contempt). I amazed myself John when I realised that I could fall in love with a ladyboy – something I never dreamed possible – something that would be preferable to me than dealing with the western women who are available to me back home. Remember – women marry up so by that definition as an average man and a loser – look at the women I must deal with back home! Now spare some thought for our fellow losers who are older than us, not gifted with the physical attractiveness we possess (which we will both lose in time) and for whom the options back home in the West are grim. Grim.

I don't believe that you are deluded John. We all have to play the cards we were dealt and like myself you have been dealt some good cards but you must realise that the cards some men like us have been dealt are like the intelligence cards that some women hold. Physical attractiveness is the gift usually inherited by the female of the human species, not the male just like intelligence is usually the gift inherited by the male. Unlike the female – we don't get a free pass in society with our male physical attractiveness. We must earn our place in the world. The female with intelligence however – in todays western, feminist, politically correct society has a massive advantage that us male losers don't have. They can gain their own resources but will have a difficult time getting married due to not having the physical features men find so appealing. This space here could be filled with all the complaining you hear from unattractive western feminists as to "where have all the good men gone?". We all know what they are referring to when they use the word 'good'. Laundry list of female requirements: refer to Pretenders List again and make sure to read the how to instructions lest you dare approach an entitled western woman that you are clearly beneath. You are less than the dirt beneath her feet and yes – she feels entitled to and demands diamonds on the soles of her shoes!

Your submission shows insight John and I think as you age you will gain more insight and a deeper understanding of what is going on with women and society and I look forward to more submissions from a man who like myself has done some male modelling. You are just 4 years younger than me and it gives me great hope when I read articles like yours that younger men have insight but just need a few more years and a bit more reading and experience before seeing the full picture.

Whilst the western men in Thailand looking for love may be losers in the eyes of women and society and will be shamed and guilt tripped for it, they are winners in the ultimate game where true power comes from: control over your own life. So long as these men are smart and remember Briffault's Law and are willing and able to continue to pay so that the woman can derive a benefit from the association with them – I say good luck to them. We all know the risks of falling in love with a bar girl (how lucky we all are to benefit from the knowledge and experiences available to all of us that embody the Stickman site). We all know the problems that getting into a relationship or a marriage with a bargirl could bring but in my mind it highlights just how bad things are back home for western men for this to even be a consideration. Remember that this is the superior option in comparison to his options back home!

Think about it logically: These men have travelled thousands of miles to a strange, exotic country – a country in which most don't understand the language – to get away from western society and western women. In some cases they have left it all behind back home, lost friends and respect – all to get that which is denied them in their own countries. What an extreme emotional (yet logical) REACTION this is.

What does that say about our peers – the male losers and the situation that exists back home in the West?

You know that feeling that you get when you are leaving Pattaya in a taxi bound for Bangkok airport? How you want to cry because you are leaving paradise? The flow of my tears increases as images of what I am going back to in the West flash into my mind. I know that I am not the only one. Images of western women complaining. Images of brow beating and nagging. Images of putting up with all the political correctness, walking on eggshells, holding my tongue etc. My only consolation is that I know that I will be back next year in Pattaya and that because I have voluntarily walked away from dating and relationships back home I don't have to deal with a western woman in my own personal dating life. I know that at least by living alone in the West I have a refuge from all the bullshit outside my door. The sound of silence is preferable to the obnoxious shriek of the entitled western female.

I will leave you with the lyrics from Jesus of Suburbia by Greenday:

I don't feel any shame, I won't apologize
When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain when you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

You're leaving…
You're leaving…
You're leaving…
Ah you're leaving home…

All the best John! Update From The Pretender

Update From The Pretender

Written by: The Pretender

May 12th, 2014

10 min read

Original published URL:


Dear Stickman Readers,

My most popular article by far on Stickman is on the subject of my experiences with Pattaya ladyboys. I get many emails from Stickman readers about this article and as such I would like to bring you all up to date in regards to my recent experiences with Pattaya ladyboys. I do apologise in advance for using the word "she" to describe ladyboys as I know that it upsets some of you.

It has been a year and a half since November 2012 when I engaged in promiscuous sex with ladyboys in Pattaya, Thailand for the first time at the age of 33. I just now celebrated my 35th birthday and I have been back to Thailand twice since November 2012 and on both trips I continued my engagements with Pattaya ladyboys. These trips have only been possible of course by my refusal to enter into any entanglements or a relationship with a western woman back home. I now view all women here in the West as impediments to me continuing to live my life the way I want to live it. Any involvement with single, western women that I do not know is kept strictly to a minimum. I know that most, if not all western women want security, monogamy, family, children, commitment, marriage, home ownership, dedication, love and devotion. Sex is not a woman’s driving force and any romantic involvement by me with them will lead me to lose my freedom, peace of mind, independence, time and possibly my current and future money, resources and wealth. When a woman looks at me she sees me as a resource provider first and foremost. When I see a woman I see her as a sex object first and foremost. For me to get sex however I will need to jump through her numerous hoops and tests and I just can’t be fxxxed with doing that these days. I neither have the time nor the inclination. I am just not interested. I have mastered by sex drive and found my solution to living a free life which is to live in a voluntarily celibate manner here in the West, avoid relationships with women, work as hard as possible and enjoy myself in Thailand 3 times a year engaging in paid encounters with ladyboys and the occasional woman.

My promiscuous behaviour with Pattaya ladyboys has been somewhat muted on my last two trips as I have concentrated on having sex with and developing a form of friendship with 3 ladyboys in particular who I get along well with. Each has different attributes and personal qualities and each of them gives me a different experience.

Ladyboy One: 26 years old, 6f2” tall, beautiful and easy going

Ladyboy One is very easy to get along with and is overall an easygoing person. The sex with One is very good and it is always a fun experience with her. We go out together to eat Thai food mostly at cheap restaurants at Central Festival Plaza shopping centre. It really feels like the ‘girlfriend experience’ with One.
This is the ladyboy I talked about in my previous article “Taking a 6f2” tall ladyboy out for dinner in Pattaya”. I must admit that I do really like ladyboy One the most.

Ladyboy Two: 29 years old, 5f11” tall, extremely slutty dresser

Ladyboy Two and I have great sex together – very passionate and fun. Two is a very understanding person who never argues with me about me seeing other ladyboys. I just meet her at the bar, have a drink and a great chat and then have a fantastic sexual experience with her. It is perfect really. I doubt however she will work much longer due to her age but I will still try to catch up with her when I am in Pattaya. Two does not take a lot of female hormones but is very feminine looking with makeup on. Without makeup however Two can’t pass very well as a woman.

Ladyboy Three: 22 years old, 5f10” tall, stunningly beautiful

Sex with ladyboy Three is on another level of intensity – it is unbelievably great. By far the best sex I have ever had in my entire life. Incredible sex, which I have never before experienced with any western woman, Thai woman or Thai ladyboy. Three has problems getting an erection due to the large quantity of female hormones she keeps taking. She has been taking female hormones since the age of 13 and has essentially avoided going through a male puberty. It is incredibly passionate sex that Three and I have together. Three has issues however – she is a very jealous person and does not like it when I am seen to go with other ladyboys. I have explained several times to her that freedom is very important for me and for her given the nature of her profession. I never bring up the fact that she has many other farangs but she constantly brings up the fact that I have other ladyboys. “Go – go to your ladyboys” she says to me. I say – “OK fine – I will – you go as well – go, go to your farangs”. The whole situation with Three is ridiculous as lets face it – she is a prostitute and she is getting irritated at me for going with other ladyboy prostitutes. I kept thinking to myself whenever she gets irritated at me “I hate to remind you Three but you are a prostitute and you have no right to get angry at me for my behaviour”. It just seems pointless however getting into a discussion about this subject as an argument would ensue and she would lose face which is a big no no in Thailand. I am at the point of just cutting her off to be honest, as she has written several messages to me telling me to fxxx off which is unacceptable behaviour and very disrespectful to me. This despite the fact I have never said a bad word to her and I have treated her with kindness, acceptance, tolerance and respect.

Sometimes I think the mix of male and female hormones makes these ladyboys unstable. You have to be very careful around them at times. Ladyboy One has a real authentic gun and has mentioned that if she wanted to she could kill me. I don’t think that she would try anything but what can I say – this is the first time I have developed a friendship with someone who owns a firearm which was apparently given to her by her parents in case of getting into a bad situation with a crazy farang. I am cautious when dealing with each of my ladyboy partners as experience has taught me to be on guard and not to lose control of myself or the situation. I certainly don’t trust any of my ladyboy partners as far as I could throw them. This doesn’t stop me from having a great time with them however.

My ladyboy partners are at a very different level of human development than me. I am a university educated professional and I have worked in scientific research for 15 years and I also run my own start up on the side. In terms of intellectual stimulation – none of my ladyboys are my intellectual equivalent. That being said – I find this a relief, as my relationships in the West with western woman who were my equal were fraught with difficulties, arguments and pain. One night I was sitting in Sensations Bar in Action St with ladyboy One and thinking to myself how simple things were between us and we have nothing at all in common with each other. I am a paying customer and she is my service provider but we have a level of respect for each other as human beings and this is important. I accept her and she accepts me. I give out respect and acceptance – two things that ladyboys find very difficult to find in society. This is why I believe I am seen as a magnet for them and why word gets around so quickly in Soi 6 when I am seen with one. The gossip amongst them is incredible and I have been astonished at how quickly word gets around.

Each of my ladyboy partners I have on my Facebook page. I have in effect put some of my rules aside for dealing with them and I have opened myself up to them. They know my real name and my business. This is a double-edged sword as it could backfire against me badly if they ever got really pissed off at me and wanted revenge for whatever reason. I have very good business and personal reasons for establishing a form of friendship with these ladyboys and ladyboy Three in particular – despite her lack of respect – has been extremely helpful to me with understanding transgendered issues and in allowing me to observe her experiences in undergoing breast augmentation surgery and recovery in Bangkok.

My life back home in the West now consists of working extremely hard at my day job and my business, living alone and avoiding short and long-term relationships with women – essentially I am living as a voluntary celibate. It is incredible how much time I have available and I have achieved much more in my day job and my business than I ever did when I had a girlfriend. Three times a year I take off to Thailand to engage with Pattaya ladyboys and to meet up with western ex-pats who have decided to make Thailand their home. I have found these ex pats to be very helpful to me personally in understanding Thailand, understanding what it takes to pack up and move to a strange, exotic country and the complexities involved with relationships with ladyboys. I find catching up with them meets my intellectual needs. My last trip all I did all day long was work from my laptop in my hotel room and then at night I went out for dinner at the Pattaya Beer Garden then caught a motorcycle taxi to meet up with one of my ladyboys in Soi 6, then I came back to my hotel room for sex with them or went upstairs at the bar they worked at to have sex with them and then after that I would go out and catch up with my ex pat friends. I found this lifestyle very satisfying. It really did feel to me like I as a man could ‘have it all’. Pattaya I think has this effect on many men. It is great to spend time in a place where the men are smiling so much and seem so genuinely happy. I never witnessed any of the aggression that I have seen here in the West in Pattaya. I put that down to the men being so sexually satisfied – it mellows them out.

This last trip to Pattaya was important for me to see if I could work effectively from my hotel room. Overall – I was staggered by the volume of work that I was able to get done, as I did not have any interruptions from other people. I now know that I could indeed move to Thailand full time and work productively from a small condo and communicate with my team in the West via Skype. I doubt that I will do this full time but it is perfect for short-term trips.

My next trip to Thailand will be from July 31st to August 14th 2014. I will be in Pattaya from July 31st to August 10th and in Bangkok from August 10th to 14th. On this upcoming trip I plan to have some new experiences with new ladyboys. It is time to have some new sexual experiences with ladyboys that I have not met before. This is important so that I do not become too emotionally involved with any one ladyboy. I want and need my freedom and freedom is so easy to lose in this world. The price of freedom really does seem to be eternal vigilance.

I remain as always open to catching up with Stickman readers in Thailand so if you are interested in meeting with me please email me and we can arrange a date and time.

Until next time gentlemen, all the best!

Kind Regards,

The Pretender

Stickman's thoughts:

If anyone meets this guy, let me know… I'm mildly curious as to whether his tales are genuine or otherwise. For me, the jury is still out on that one.

Beautiful Young Thai – Do You Have any Collateral?

Beautiful Young Thai – Do You Have any Collateral?

Written by: The Pretender

July 25th, 2014

12 min read

Original published URL:


Dear Stickman readers,

Today I would like to talk about the subjects of risk, security and collateral and how they relate to us as foreigners who are interested in long-term liaisons with the women, ladyboys or men involved in the naughty nightlife (or any Thai for that matter whether naughty or nice in the country of Thailand).

Let’s begin by thinking about banks, bankers, mortgages, collateral and borrowers.

A man is interested in buying a $350,000 house, he has a steady income, which is enough to qualify for a mortgage but only has $35,000 as a 10% deposit and he will require a mortgage of $315,000 to purchase the house. The bank is willing to loan the man $315,000 and the man will be required to pay back the loan with interest. The interest is the fee or rent that the bank earns on the money that they have loaned the man to purchase the house. The banker – smart man that he is – has come up with a number of strategies to increase the probability that he will have his capital repaid along with the interest that is his fee for loaning out his money and risking his capital.

Strategy 1: The banker will loan the money to the house buyer on the condition that the house is used as collateral or security for the loan. In the event that the borrower defaults on the loan and is unable to pay the banker back, the banker will sell the house to recoup his money.

Strategy 2: The banker tells the buyer that because he does not have a 20% deposit he will have to buy mortgage insurance. This insurance sounds like it is protection for the buyer but in fact it is protection for the banker as the banker is taking a higher risk in loaning money to a borrower who only has a 10% deposit. The borrower who requires a mortgage for 90% of the property value is a higher risk proposition than a borrower who has a 20% deposit and only requires a mortgage for 80% of the property value.

Strategy 3: The loan contract. The banker has a legally binding contract that sets out terms, stipulations and conditions that the borrower agrees to be legally bound by. This contract protects the banker and he has the full force of the law behind him in the event that the borrower defaults on the loan.

Let’s move on now to Thailand and the basis of my submission. I want to ask a couple of important questions to you, Mr. Farang, about your business – the business in Thailand that you are engaging in – a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand:

1. What collateral does your Thai love bring to the table?
2. What happens if your Thai love for whatever reasons, fails to uphold the basis of your long-term relationship understanding (or contract if you’re engaging in marriage)?
3. What strategies do you have in place to protect yourself in the event of default by your Thai love?
4. What protection do you have in place for your assets should your Thai love decide that you are no longer required?
5. What contract do you have in place to protect yourself?

Before we get to these questions, let's also consider some of the laws that the Thais have created because these laws affect you Mr. Farang and the business you are engaging in (a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand).

You as a foreigner:

a. Cannot own land in your own name.
b. Cannot own more than 49% of a Thai business.
c. Are restricted from running many businesses in Thailand.
d. <Insert here other applicable laws that the Thais have come up with to restrict you as a foreigner so as to create an environment where it is easy for you to spend money but very hard for you to make it in Thailand.>

Let’s get back now to our questions, Mr. Farang, about how you are protecting your business interests in Thailand:

1. What collateral does your Thai love bring to the table?

You are engaging or are seriously considering engaging in a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand. You and your Thai partner are both very much in love with each other. You, Mr. Farang, are older, highly educated and much wealthier and maybe just a little fatter than your Thai love. You bring a lot of collateral, assets and security to the table but your Thai love does not. She or he brings other – more intangible collateral in the form of youth and beauty but has very little tangible collateral, assets or security. You are willing to look past this minor issue of your partner having no security to protect you because you are in love and love conquers all – everyone knows that. So for this question your answer is $0: Your Thai love brings no security, assets or collateral to the table.

2. What happens if your Thai love for whatever reasons, fails to uphold the basis of your long-term relationship understanding or marriage contract?

You have been with your Thai love a few years now, the initial chemical high has worn off, routine has set in, you are increasingly arguing with each other and the relationship has become strained. It is getting harder and harder to keep things together. Your Thai love has had enough and wants out. You have both invested years of time and effort into each other but things are not working out. You of course purchased a house for your Thai love (she or he insisted on this). You and your Thai love live in it and it is in your Thai love's name, of course, because foreigners like you cannot own land in Thailand. You think that this house now needs to be sold since your relationship is almost over. Think again, Mr. Farang. Legally – the house is owned by your Thai love and they do not want to sell their house. You are stuck and have no legal recourse to get your money back – money that you spent buying your Thai love a house.

3. What strategies do you have in place to protect yourself in the event of default by your Thai love?

When you came to Thailand you sold your assets back in Farangland and brought your money with you. You spent some or most of it buying a house for your Thai love. You had no backup plan in place, no strategy to protect yourself if your Thai love left you for whatever reason. You are now facing the very real probability that you will have to get on a plane bound for Farangland. This fills you with dread but because you are out of money you have few other options. Going back to the West will mean you will probably have to submit to a job you don’t really want in a place you really don’t like much any more given your life in Thailand.

4. What protection do you have in place for your assets should your Thai love decide that you are no longer required?

You never considered that engaging in a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand could put you in such a perilous financial situation. You had no protection in place for your assets; you spent a lot of your money buying your Thai love a house. You failed to heed Briffault’s Law – the Rosetta Stone of women’s behaviour.

5. What contract do you have in place to protect yourself?

You have no pre-nup (those are not romantic – do they even have these in Thailand?) <Yes, they do – and they are both common and legally binding, so long as they are written up before marriage and lodged at the time of the registration of marriageStick>. You have no contract. If you did marry (your Thai love is a woman and not a man or a ladyboy) then the contract is most likely tilted heavily in your Thai love's favour (this is Thailand, remember, and you are a foreigner).

Our friend the banker would never have taken such high risks with his capital. His strategies are in place in order to increase substantially the probability that his capital will be repaid with interest together with strategies to ensure that if it is not – he will still get his capital back with interest. As a foreigner in Thailand engaging in the business of a long-term relationship with a Thai who has little to no collateral you are in a very vulnerable position. At least with the naughty nightlife $x is a known number and both parties are aware of the terms of this short-term agreement. Your downside risk is limited to losing a small amount of money if you have a bad time or if the Thai does not fulfil the terms of the agreement.

When you enter into a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand you are entering into a high risk scenario with little to no protection for your assets, where $x is unknown unless your Thai partner brings collateral to the table which is equal to or greater than the collateral that you bring to the table. Even then – you are still at the mercy of Thai laws and customs that tilt heavily in favour of the Thais (at your expense of course – this is Thailand, remember – never forget that you are a foreigner). Add to this the fact that you are both from very different cultures, have very different upbringings, have an age disparity in your relationship, a significant language barrier as well as having very different life experiences and you have a situation where your Thai love is essentially entering into a “heads I win, tails you lose” contract with you. Or more precisely – your Thai love brings no collateral or security to the table but has the balance of probabilities and the law heavily tilted in their favour so by engaging in a long term relationship with you – if it goes well – they win and get financial benefits, a house etc they would never have gotten on their own and if it goes bad they still win and get the house, financial benefits etc. They have nothing to lose and come out ahead regardless whilst you take all the risk! Remind me again who the more highly educated person in this scenario is? At the same time your nature as a man is conspiring against you. Your testosterone levels are declining and all you really want in your life is some peace and quiet – something that was taken from you long ago by the increasing levels of nagging, complaining and irritation you have experienced engaging in a long-term monogamous relationship. You want your freedom back but you know it is ‘cheaper to keep her’.

Unfortunately you also have other factors conspiring against you. It is highly likely that the reason you are in Thailand is that you have had a number of relationships with women back home that have not worked out successfully. You may be divorced or separated – perhaps a number of times now and this long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand is your third attempt at love, commitment and a long-term relationship. You should be aware that there is a very high failure rate of second and third marriages.

If the probability is 73% that third marriages in the West end in divorce – imagine what the probability is when you add in other factors like cross cultural misunderstandings, age disparity, language barriers, different countries, Thai business laws, inability to own land in your own name, different upbringings, the fact that you are a foreigner in Thailand and so on. I estimate that you are engaging in a business (a long-term relationship with a Thai in Thailand) with a failure probability rate of over 80%. If you are engaging with a Thai woman then hypergamy (marrying up) is likely the game she is engaging in. When I engage with women I make the assumption that if she is in my presence past the first date then I am 99.5% confident that I am richer than her or she has not yet had enough time to determine the size of my wallet. This assumption has never been proven incorrect in the 17 years I have spent dating and dealing with women (I am now 35 years old). If you are engaging with a ladyboy, well – I will deal with that in a future submission.

So – Mr. Farang – I have painted somewhat of a grim picture here but I do not think all is lost. There is much wisdom here on this site. Stickman is a leader who has empowered us all to write our articles and learn from each other and if I may ask you to submit articles to Stickman from your knowledge and experiences in Thailand that discuss risk minimisation strategies and protection of your collateral that would make me a very happy man as these subjects have been on my mind since my infamous November 2012 trip where I engaged with Pattaya ladyboys.

Many of you are older, wiser and more experienced men than me and I am sure that you will point me in the right direction as to how I can successfully protect my interests should I engage in a long-term relationship in Thailand with a Thai given what I have discussed here today. My heart yearns to stay in Thailand but my rational head tells me I am making a mistake doing so and I am having difficulty making up my mind as to whether to become an expat or not. I have come up with some strategies of my own to protect my interests whilst attempting to safely navigate the Thailand relationship minefield, which I may explore in a future submission. I think that I have some good strategies but I am not yet ready to take the leap of ex patting as I think I may be the patsy. Warren Buffett said “If you’ve been playing poker for half an hour and you still don’t know who the patsy is, you’re the patsy’.

My late father had a saying, which I am quite fond of – “Son – don’t think about how much you can make – consider how much you can lose.”

As I get older I am becoming more and more interested in the subject of risk and what has struck me about highly successful men is just how much these men have managed risk extremely well during their working lives. Farangs in Thailand who are engaging in successful long-term relationships with Thais should be studied so that we may all learn what strategies they have in place and how they have succeeded against the odds in this strange, beautiful and exotic country of extraordinary Thai people that we all love so very much.

I Came To Pattaya For The Sex – I Left With Anal Warts

I Came To Pattaya For The Sex – I Left With Anal Warts

Written by: The Pretender

September 4th, 2014

12 min read

Original published URL:



It has been a while since my last submission and I have had 2 more trips to Pattaya (or – as some of you wags have dubbed it – Sodom and Gomorrah by the sea).

Upon returning a few weeks ago I picked up a hand mirror (and not to look at my reflection – thank you to those of you who have kindly emailed me to give me your expert diagnosis that I am a narcissist – I somewhat concur). Instead – I used the hand mirror to take a look at my behind. My anus. The reason? Strange new lumps I could feel that were never there before. Oh no…What could they be? Haemorrhoids I thought but no – haemorrhoids they are not, gentlemen. The doctor told me (with a rather stern look on his face) that I have a nasty case of anal warts. His stern look became even sterner when I uttered the word “Thailand”. As my uttering continued his face turned sterner and sterner – you can imagine the progression of sternness as the words rolled off my tongue “Pattaya”, “Soi 6”, “ladyboys”, “receptive and penetrative anal sex with ladyboy(s) (plural)” and so on…

Some may say that I have lain down with dogs and have got up with fleas – a bit harsh – have you seen what is available in the dating market to a 35-year-old separated or divorced man back in the West? Others may say that this is the lord’s way of telling me that I am a sinner. That this is a warning to me and in the future I may contract something much more serious. I thank God every day that he made me an atheist gentleman. Anyway – this article is particularly for my enemies who I no doubt will really enjoy my pain and suffering. I must say that I am particularly looking forward to uploading my anal wart story to my YouTube channel because I have a troll – a man of the cloth – one Revered Eslam who has taken a particular dislike to me – he calls me a “Pathetic Fornicating Bisexual Aussie Prostitute Hunter”. I thanked him for the shaming language – I really got a good laugh out of it.

A Stickman fan of mine emailed me once and said he would pay me money for more articles like the one I wrote about my experience with proctitis, anal fissures and urinary tract infections caused by my liaisons with ladyboys.

I do hope in particular that you Sir enjoy this latest submission by the Pretender just as much as the proctitis one. I have really enjoyed writing it. I have earned the right to speak about this topic because I did come to Pattaya for the sex and I have indeed left with a nasty case of anal warts.

Introduction to the Human Papillomavirus (HPV)

Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the name of a group of viruses that includes more than 100 different types that cause infection on the skin surface. Certain types of HPV cause warts on the hands or feet, while others can cause visible genital warts. However, sometimes HPV infection causes no warts, and many people with genital HPV do not know they have it. The wart virus is mostly cleared naturally by the body’s immune system.

Evidence suggests that the majority of individuals who have ever been sexually active experience one or more genital HPV infections during their lifetime. Most HPV infections clear spontaneously.

HPV and genital warts are usually spread by direct, skin-to-skin contact during vaginal or anal sex. It is also possible, but rare, to transmit it to the mouth by oral sex.

Warts may appear within several weeks after sexual relations with a person who has the virus; or they may take months to appear; or they may never appear. This makes it hard to know exactly when or from whom you got the virus. For most people the body’s natural immunity will get rid of the virus over time.

Imiquimod (Aldara™) cream is a patient applied treatment for external genital and perianal warts. It is safe, effective, easy to use, and offers an alternative to tissue destructive therapies.

Surgery (cutting off the warts) has the advantage of getting rid of the warts in a single office visit. However, treatment can be expensive and the healthcare provider must be well trained in these methods. Recurrences still do occur.

I was most probably infected this time last year – when I had the proctitis, anal fissure and urinary tract infections. HPV can take time before causing a breakout of warts. Thinking back to that unpleasant episode – I knew I must have had got something quite serious given the agony I was in and the enlarged lymph gland on my left thigh stayed somewhat enlarged for some months afterwards.

All up – this latest anal warts episode has been an expensive lesson what with my first consultation with a doctor ($80) to my 2nd consultation (a referral) to a colorectal surgeon ($145) along with a prescription for the expensive Aldara cream to clean up the warts ($123) and an upcoming date with the colorectal surgeon's scalpel ($800+).

Some may say that I have played Russian roulette with my health and my life with my engagements with the ladyboys of Pattaya. Some may ask – has the Pretender finally learned his lesson? Surely now he will reflect on his unnatural behaviour and stop his high-risk sexual gymnastics?

Let me make this crystal clear for all of you. Especially to those of you – my enemies who I rather enjoy and appreciate receiving anger, hate and/or rage filled emails from in regards to my activities with the ladyboys of Pattaya. Are you ready?

I’ll be back.

That's right gentlemen. I will be back in Pattaya in December – I have my flights and hotel booked and paid for and hopefully I should be all cleared of HPV by then. For you see, Sodom and Gomorrah by the sea has been very good to me. I have had so many great times and have so many beautiful memories that I cannot let a nasty case of anal warts stop me from coming back to visit my Thai and western ex-pat friends. Yes – it seems that I have not learned my lesson.

I bet those of you who are my enemies are feeling very satisfied about my latest anal warts misfortune. I picture you sitting in judgement all high and mighty in your condos in various parts of Thailand feeling very satisfied right now as you read this latest submission by The Pretender – that filthy ladyboy fucker. Very satisfied indeed. I wish you gentleman all the best and I harbour no resentment towards you.

Just remember – It will take more than a nasty case of anal warts to keep The Pretender out of Pattaya. My activities will continue. Nothing stops – you hear me? This latest misfortune has not deterred me in any way from my high-risk ladyboy liaisons. Just so you know – I will not change my behaviour in any way. I will continue my freedom based / different ladyboy every night lifestyle. I will not repent for my sins nor will I apologise. Shame – I have none. Guilt – I will not feel. Pity – I shall not waste my time with. Remorse – I refuse to acknowledge. If anal warts are the price I pay for my freedom from monogamy with western women then so be it. You have to balance the good with the bad. There is a price for everything in life. I choose to pay this price willingly.

I want to tell you a bit more about why I will be back in Pattaya as this part is really quite important. Lest we forget gentlemen the underlying reasons why many of us came to Pattaya in the first place – problems with relationships back home.

Alcoholics have what is known as ‘a moment of clarity’. I have this clarity in relation to my activities in Thailand, I can assure you of that. You see: my worst day with anal warts so far has been better and more enjoyable than many of my best days in monogamous relationships with western women and I will tell you why. The warts don't nag. The warts don't complain, bitch or moan. The warts will go away by using the prescribed Aldara cream and a 30-minute outpatient surgery by a colorectal surgeon. The warts will go away relatively quickly – unlike my relationship with my ex fiancé that dragged on for way too many mind numbing years (7). If this is part and parcel of the price of freedom from monogamy then I shall pay it willingly. I will continue to pay it. For nothing is worse than a bad relationship (anal wart surgery I imagine is better – time will tell) and as I lie on the operating table I will conjure up images in my mind of all the nagging, all the complaining and all the shit tests, mind games and rubbish I put up with in my past monogamous relationships. If this is the price of my liaisons with ladyboys then so be it – it beats monogamy any day of the week (which as we know has its own substantial ongoing financial risks and costs – not just one off costs like this irritating case of anal warts). I have no regrets, gentlemen. Pretender says (and you can quote me on this), “Anal warts – part of the costs of freedom from monogamy”. Anal warts – simply a cost of doing business in Pattaya”.

Let’s be clear: surgery will entail a colorectal surgeon with a scalpel cutting into my anus to remove the warts. Yes it may hurt. Yes – I will probably be in some pain. Yes – it will take me some time to recover – all of that. So be it. If my father were alive today he would say “Son – you have laid down with dogs and you have got up with fleas. You have acted in haste – now you will repent in leisure. You have made your bed and now you have to lie in it”. I could go on but I won't. I didn’t tell my mother about the warts – that stern lecture would be many, many times worse than the stern look on my doctor's face when I dared to utter the words “Pattaya” and “ladyboy(s) plural”. Mother dearest would be clutching the walls and screaming ‘Jarod noooo…” flailing her arms about wildly (picture the most hysterical woman you know, times that by a 1,000 and you might be close). She already doesn’t sleep very well whilst her son is away in the land of smiles – sick with worry she says.

I will be prepared gentlemen for my next trip to Pattaya with backup supplies of Aldara cream on hand for any future anal wart breakouts. I wonder if I can buy Aldara cream in Thailand and how expensive it is? Those of you who live in Pattaya – if you know where I can buy Aldara cream please email me and let me know. I would appreciate it. I can imagine the emails now from my enemies “Dear ladyboy fucker – Fascino Pharmacy in Central Pattaya Road sells your poof cream and remember – God hates you!”

Anyway – in conclusion – I will continue my adventures in Pattaya. I will continue to engage with multiple ladyboys and women too. I will continue my sexual gymnastics. Pattaya can be a minefield for the unprepared – it is hard enough being prepared – Sodom and Gomorrah by the sea (apologies to my friends who live in Pattaya – I understand it is your home – I use this term in fondness – you know how much I love it there) can chew you up and spit you out. I wrote this article to help those of you who will follow in my high-risk ladyboy liaison footsteps. May you learn an important lesson from it: be careful out there!

Remember: I won’t feel any shame – I won’t apologise – for there aint nowhere else to go quite like Pattaya!

And be kind gentlemen – HPV is so common that practically every person who is sexually active will get it in their lifetime. It is the ‘common cold’ of the sexually active. No stigma attached.

All the best Gentlemen,

The Pretender

Stickman's thoughts:

This is not the first health issue you have had on your adventures in Pattaya. It does make one wonder whether this was a case of bad luck or whether you were partying without a party hat. If you were unsheathed, then I have to say (for the umpteenth time) that I think it's highly questionable.

When you talk about warts up your butt – not on the surface but actually up the pooh chute – it would seem that you were on the receiving end of unprotected anal sex from a transgendered Thai sex worker. From what I understand about contracting STDS, that carries the highest risk and what's more, it was undertaken with what probably constitutes about the highest risk profile of partner! It's your life and you're free to live it as you please, but now we're getting in to – and forgive me for being judgmental here – extremely high risk behaviour and extremely questionable judgment.

By all means have fun, but WRAP UP and if you're indulging with men or ladyboys, make sure they wrap up too!

Frankly, I don't know if Pretender is genuine or not, and my feeling – having reread a couple of his past submissions – is this is a hoax. That these submissions are not posted to a ladyboy-centric site and that the guy has a strong misogynistic bent make me wonder. It's very disturbing if it's real, and equally disturbing if it is not. Those who do this sort of thing and those who would make it up, I mean which is more twisted? I won't name anyone publicly, but I can't help but feel this is the work of someone who used to post to the site and who no longer does. I won't mention any names. Of course, I could be totally wrong and it could all be genuine…

* It should be noted that Pretender has since emailed me and explained that he does NOT indulge in unprotected sex.

Anal Wart Removal at Pattaya International Hospital

Anal Wart Removal at Pattaya International Hospital

Written by: The Pretender

December 31st, 2014

6 min read

Original published URL:



Today I would like to discuss the subject of anal wart removal in Pattaya. I believe this subject may be of interest to some of you in Thailand who are involved in the naughty nightlife, particularly those of you who are engaging with ladyboys. As per Stick's request – I am keeping the graphical details of this submission to a minimum. I will discuss my experience undergoing CO2 Laser Surgery at Pattaya International Hospital in Pattaya to remove my anal warts, which are a symptom of the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) which I contracted in Thailand in November, 2013, after receiving penis on anus foreplay (skin on skin) contact from an HPV infected ladyboy. Despite the ladyboy having no visible symptoms – I was still infected.

For the past year I have battled with anal warts. They have very much negatively affected my life. These warts became very itchy and were very bothersome and annoying. My doctor back in Australia gave me a referral to a specialist and he advised me that I should have the anal warts removed for my health, my well-being and also so that new partners were not infected. I do not however have private health insurance at the moment and I was put on a waiting list for surgery. During my time on the waiting list the anal warts became much worse, increasing in both size and number. Since I was travelling to Thailand anyway for a holiday and business purposes I decided to send a few emails to hospitals in Pattaya before I left Australia to see if I could get my condition resolved whilst I was in Thailand.

I received replies from a number of hospitals and I decided to arrange an appointment with Dr W at Pattaya International Hospital in Pattaya. This hospital is a short motorcycle taxi ride away from the hotel that I was staying at. I arrived at the hospital at the appointed time, identified myself and the receptionist advised me to take a lift up to Dr W’s practice. Upon arrival my blood pressure was taken and I was then asked to wait a few minutes as I had arrived quite early. I took a seat, enjoyed the sea view in the distance outside the large floor to ceiling windows and observed the other waiting patients – an elderly couple and a group of mid 40’s attractive Russian women having a discussion in Russian. I was then shortly after taken to a room where Dr W took a look at me and diagnosed my condition. She advised me that she could remove the anal warts with a C02 laser in just one appointment. She then asked if I would like it done that day in 2 hours time. I was amazed – no waiting lists here! I advised her that the following day would be better for me if that were OK with her. It was and I came back the next day.

Immediately upon arrival my blood pressure was again taken and then I was lead into a private room where I was directed to undress and put on a hospital robe. A local anaesthetic cream was then placed on my anus. I was advised to wait for 45 minutes until the anaesthetic cream had numbed the area enough to operate on. I had a good look around the room during this time – it was very clean and bright with all very modern equipment. I was amazed as shortly before my trip my mother was in a public hospital back in Australia – this facility here in Thailand was much higher quality than back home!

After the 45 minutes was up and the anaesthetic cream had kicked in I was directed to another operating room. Dr W and two nurses then came in. Dr W explained the C02 Laser removal procedure and I was then given further local aesthetic directly into the affected area via a number of injections. Dr W then went to work removing the anal warts. I was directed to move position a number of times whilst Dr W and her nurses worked as a team. There was very little pain during the procedure (just a few stings with the injections and a little heat sometimes from the laser). The whole procedure took around 45 minutes.

After the surgery was completed I was taken to the reception and then to the lift by one of the nurses. I admired the large paintings on the wall of the hospital's founding doctors. The nurse remarked to me in the lift about how lucky I am to have such nice facial skin. I took that as quite the compliment considering I was at a dermatologist’s office! The nurse directed me to take a seat for a moment in reception downstairs and gave me a number. My number was called after about a minute and I was directed to pay approx. 9,000 baht or around $300 AUD. Incredible – the same procedure back in Australia I was looking at around $3,000! I noted that an ATM was right there next to the cashier – talk about convenience. I was then directed to pick up my medication from the chemist. Amazingly – the chemist window was right next to the cashier window. I was handed my pain medications and antibiotics, which had all the instructions I needed to follow in English and wished all the best. I walked out of the hospital, hopped onto the back of a motorcycle taxi and went back to my hotel room to recover.

All up – it was around 2 and a half hours from the time I left my hotel room to the time I arrived back. My recovery over the past few days has gone extremely well. I have taken my antibiotics and used the pain medication as directed. There has been pain but this was to be expected – the pain has been manageable with the pain medication I was given. The pain was actually much less than what I experienced when I first contracted HPV (you can read about that unfortunate episode here.)

Given my very positive experience, I would highly recommend Pattaya International Hospital to Stickman readers who have contracted HPV and need genital warts removed. HPV is extremely common and the likelihood of acquiring the virus is very high especially for those of you who are engaging in receptive anal sex with ladyboys. Despite careful precautions I still contracted this virus from what was only a brief penis on anus rub during the brief time that my ladyboy partner was not wearing a condom. HPV is easily transmitted from genital skin on skin contact.

I plan on travelling to Thailand regularly in the future and my experience has convinced me that I made an excellent decision undergoing surgery overseas. I was treated faster and I saved myself quite a sum of money whilst enjoying a holiday at the same time. I only wish I had undergone the operation sooner! If you are reading this and you too have contracted HPV and anal warts my advice to you is to get the warts removed. Also – try to avoid using Proctosedyl as despite it providing much needed pain relief to the area it will cause your anal warts to grow and multiply much faster.

Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions or queries about my experience.

Kind Regards,

The Pretender

PS: Aldara can be purchased in Pattaya at local pharmacies for around half the price you would pay back home in the West. It is still very expensive though at 3,000 baht for 10 satchels. Aldara did not work for me unfortunately. Some people get great results but my anal warts were far too numerous to treat effectively with Aldara. Why Thailand is so Addictive to Western Men

Why Thailand is so Addictive to Western Men

Written by: The Pretender

January 27th, 2015

9 min read

Original published URL:



I have just recently returned from another 2-week stint in Pattaya and I have been reflecting on my night-time activities and the night time activities of other western men – my peers – colleagues if you will, that I witnessed partaking in Pattaya’s naughty nightlife. Although I don’t know these men personally I do consider them to be my peers as they are involved in the same activities that I am and similar thoughts, emotions and chemicals are surging through their bodies as they engage with the beautiful young Thai women and ladyboys that make up the nightlife in Thailand.

I postulate that us Western men on holiday partaking in the naughty nightlife in Thailand are essentially on drugs. That’s right – we are on drugs and many of us are drug addicts.

You see – the human body has naturally occurring drugs that are produced in reaction to certain activities and the environment that people find themselves in. This is why Thailand is so addictive to western men: It’s an environment which has perfectly evolved to cause the human male body to produce large amounts of prolactin, oxytocin, endorphins, adrenaline, phenylethylamine, testosterone and serotonin in response to the sexual stimulus that’s all around us. The beautiful women, ladyboys and handsome Thai men dressed in a provocative and highly sexual manner walk the streets of Pattaya looking for clients. Just the sight of so many beautiful people dressed in such a sexually appealing way causes us men to begin to drift into a drug-induced stupor.

Let’s discuss some of the drugs that are released by the human body in response to such a highly stimulatory environment.

Prolactin relieves sexual arousal after orgasm and takes your mind off sex. It rises sharply immediately after orgasm in almost everyone. It's one of the few moments of the day when we men aren't preoccupied with sex. Prolactin disengages you from sex after an orgasm, allowing you to think of other things besides the naked woman right in front of you. This is why after sex you want to get ‘back to business’ – your mind is flooded with all the activities and things you want to accomplish next.

Oxytocin stimulates the prostate, causes muscle contractions and sensitizes nerves. Research has shown that increased oxytocin produces more intense orgasms. Oxytocin is known as the "cuddling hormone" because it causes you to feel a connection and bond with your beautiful young teerak. This is why we enjoy cuddling with our partners after sex even if we don’t admit to it.

Endorphins are a group of neurotransmitters formed within the body that bind to opiate receptor sites in your brain to naturally relieve pain. The bio-chemicals acetylcholine and dopamine are known as endorphins, and have a similar chemical structure to morphine. They are also known to lower stress and boost confidence. Endorphins produce feelings of euphoria and pleasure, and they have a calming effect. They fill you with a sense of well-being and relaxation. They may also make you feel dizzy and drowsy, and you might even drift off to sleep.

Adrenaline activates the sympathetic nervous system, which increases your heart rate and dilates arteries to increase blood flow to your muscles during sex. It also causes a refractory period in which another orgasm is impossible for up to 20 minutes after sex. During intercourse, increased amounts of adrenaline are released from the adrenal glands. This chemical amplifies the circulatory system with each heart contraction. Adrenaline makes you feel exhilarated and makes your heart feel like it's pounding out of your chest.

Phenylethylamine triggers the release of dopamine in the pleasure centers of the brain. This chemical is released during sex and peaks at orgasm. It is also one of the chemicals found in chocolate. Phenylethylamine is why you are overwhelmed with feelings of bliss, attraction and excitement towards your beautiful, young and sexy Thai teerak.

Testosterone fuels sexual drive and aggression. It is essential to your libido and sexual arousal. Men (and women) with a testosterone deficiency often have trouble getting aroused and have a lower interest in sex. Testosterone makes you feel turned on and sexually virile and gives you a rush of confidence after sex.

Serotonin regulates your moods. Having an orgasm releases an extra shot of serotonin to your brain, which acts as an anti-depressant. You feel cheerful, hopeful, emotionally balanced, and content. Most clinical anti-depression medications pump up serotonin levels in your brain

During the actual sex act we men experience large bursts of these chemicals flooding our bodies in a short period of time causing us to feel a state of ecstasy – a natural chemical high that is extremely addictive. Who needs drugs when you already have all the chemicals you need just waiting to be realised by your body! As Patrick Swayze’s character Bodie says to Johnny Utah in the movie Point Break “Pure adrenalin, right?! The ultimate rush. Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it — all you gotta do is jump.”

Think about the environment in which the human ape evolved – the savannahs of Africa. How often would a man see one let alone hundreds of beautiful women surrounding him? The male of the species has evolved to have sex with as many beautiful women as possible and in an environment like Soi 6 Pattaya this is possible. Add alcohol into the mix and you have all the ingredients for a very addictive activity. The activity of the monger. It’s the body’s natural drugs at work creating a feel good chemical cocktail. Hence the reasons why many men can’t just go to Pattaya once – they become lifetime repeat visitors. Side note: Pattaya City is the ultimate repeat purchase business. Why the Thai officials want to clean it up and remove this steady source of revenue is beyond me. Warren Buffet really likes repeat purchase businesses. You know – businesses like Coca-Cola, Gillette, Sees Candy etc. You have to keep buying these products so these businesses keep making money hand over fist.

Now think about the environment back home in the West. You know what you’re going home to. I’m not going to depress you with a description of it – you know exactly how it makes you feel. It’s the lack of chemical high, my friend. You have left Thailand and now you’re withdrawing from drugs in an environment that is not built for rehab (as we all know too well – it's full of entitled western women, their male enablers / henchmen, groveling simps and the like). This environment has no patience nor tolerance of your behaviour (you filthy sex tourist). You're detoxing in an environment where the people around you are not supporting of you at all – they have no sympathy whatsoever for you! Think of a rehab centre where all the staff are doing everything they can to hate on you, discredit you and f*ck you over. Feels good doesn't it you filthy sex tourist! (I don’t like that term by the way but I will save my reasons why for a future submission). You get no sympathy in the West because you're the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench – a pain in the arse and a constant and irritating reminder to all the married men of what they gave up to engage in a more socially acceptable form of male payment and resource provision for female sex.

For some of you the low point hits you early on – starting with the cab trip from Pattaya to Bangkok airport. For others – your low point hits whilst you’re sitting alone at the airport waiting to board your plane back home to the West. This is really just the start of your withdrawal. Think of all those partners you had in Thailand – your body was on a 2-week drug trip. Your drug trip is now over – you don’t feel the full effects of the sickness yet but it’s in the post, that's for sure. You’re in the sex tourist limbo at the moment.

A few notes about withdrawing from your drug trip. It takes me at least a month to do this. The first time I came back from Pattaya was by far the worst. Each successive trip it seems to get a little (but not much) easier. The thought that I know I will be back in Thailand again in the not too distant future eases the pain somewhat.

Gentlemen, I want you to memorize what I have termed "The Pretender's Rule of Three" which states: No large or life changing decisions for three months after you have returned home from Thailand.

I assure you that if you follow The Pretender's Rule of Three you’ll thank me. You’ll certainly be richer for it. Your mind takes time to return to full rationality and to adjust back to life at home in the West. Your heart will never be the same but you’re a man and by extension a rational being. Remember: Three (3) months. Mark my words.

Think about those mice studies those egg head scientists conducted back in the day where they gave a mouse a hit of cocaine every time it pressed a lever. The mouse didn’t stop for a minute to take a sip of water or even eat. It just kept hitting that lever until it died of an overdose. We are the mice gentlemen and sex is our drug. We had to board a plane to come to Thailand and that meant leaving the western world – an environment with levers that cause pain when pressed (nagging western women, divorce, child support etc). We came to an environment with levers that bring us pleasure every time when pressed and we just keep pressing those levers don’t we? We just can’t stop no matter how hard we try. The thought of the Pattaya sex levers being removed or going back to the West where pain is caused at the mere thought of touching a lever causes us mental anguish.

So be careful out there, my Stickman friends. Withdrawal is tough but you will get through it. Take each day as it comes and remember – you’re only a plane trip away from those levers that deliver the ultimate pleasure in life. Avoid pressing those levers when you get home – coming off drugs is much preferable to what your body produces in response to those levers being pressed in the western world – irritation, frustration, grief, annoyance, rage, anger, loathing etc. You have an itch you can’t scratch in the West. You’ll be back again. I’ll see you in 3 months Pattaya!

All the best Gentlemen! Thailand Is “The Game” And You’re Playing The Starring Role

Thailand Is “The Game” And You’re Playing The Starring Role

Written by: The Pretender

February 9th, 2015

18 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to talk about the 1997 movie “The Game” starring Michael Douglas and the 2012 documentary “My Thai Bride” starring Ted from Wales, discuss briefly a few classic scenes from the movies Oceans Eleven and Trading Places and argue that as westerners in Thailand, we are all participants playing a starring role in a high risk game that can cost us a great deal emotionally, psychologically and financially.

Let me begin by discussing the movie The Game. The Game is a 1997 American mystery thriller film directed by David Fincher. The trailer is available here.

The Game tells the story of a wealthy investment banker who is given a mysterious gift: participation in a game that integrates in strange ways with his everyday life. Nicholas Van Orton (Michael Douglas) is a wealthy investment banker but his success has come at a cost. He is estranged from both his ex-wife and his younger brother, Conrad. He is haunted from having seen his father commit suicide on the latter's 48th birthday. For Nicholas' own 48th birthday, Conrad presents Nicholas with an unusual gift – a voucher for a "game" offered by a company called Consumer Recreation Services (CRS). Conrad promises Nicholas that it will change his life.

Nicholas has doubts about CRS, but he meets club members who enjoyed the game. He goes to CRS's offices to apply and is irritated by the lengthy and time-consuming series of psychological and physical examinations required. He is later informed that his application has been rejected. Nicholas begins to believe that his business, reputation, finances, and safety are at risk. He encounters a waitress, Christine, who appears to have been endangered by the game. Nicholas contacts the police to investigate CRS, but they find the offices abandoned.

Eventually, Conrad appears to Nicholas and apologizes, claiming that he, too, has come under attack by CRS. With no one else to turn to, Nicholas finds Christine's home. He soon discovers that she is a CRS employee and that her apartment was staged. Christine tells Nicholas that they are being watched. Nicholas attacks a camera, and armed CRS troops begin to swarm the house and fire upon them. Nicholas and Christine are forced to flee. Christine tells Nicholas that CRS has drained his financial accounts using the psychological tests to guess his passwords. In a panic, Nicholas calls his bank and gives a verification code to check his account balance—zero. Just as he begins to trust Christine, he realizes she has drugged him. As he loses consciousness, she admits that she is actually part of the scam and that he made a fatal mistake by giving up his verification code.

Nicholas wakes up to find himself entombed in a cemetery in Mexico. He sells his gold watch to escape. He returns to find his mansion has been foreclosed and most of his possessions have been removed. He retrieves a hidden gun and seeks the aid of his ex-wife. While talking with her and apologizing for his neglect and mistreatment, he discovers that Jim Feingold (James Rebhorn), the CRS employee who had conducted his psychological test, is an actor who works in television advertisements. Nicholas locates and forces Feingold to take him to CRS, whereupon he takes Christine hostage. He demands to be taken to the leader of CRS. Attacked by CRS troops, Nicholas takes Christine to the roof and bars the door behind them. The CRS troops begin cutting through the door. Christine realizes that Nicholas's gun is not a prop and is terrified. She frantically tells Nicholas that the conspiracy is a hoax, a fiction that is just part of the game, that his finances are intact, and that his family and friends are waiting on the other side of the door. He refuses to believe her. The door bursts open, and Nicholas shoots the first person to emerge: his brother Conrad, bearing an open bottle of champagne. Distraught, Nicholas leaps off the roof, just as his late father did.

Nicholas's life passes before his eyes as he falls. He smashes through a glass roof and lands on a giant air bag. Emergency medical technicians carefully remove him, and he finds himself in a ballroom full of his friends, family, and every figure involved in his Game; it had merely been a game all along. Conrad is alive and presents Nicholas with a T-shirt that reads: "I was drugged and left for dead in Mexico and all I got was this stupid shirt." He explains that he initiated the game to get his brother to embrace life and not end up like their father. Nicholas breaks into tears, relaxes, and begins to enjoy the party once his shock has dissipated. Later, Nicholas splits the bill for the game with Conrad (and is surprised to discover how expensive it all was). When he sees that Christine has left the party, he follows her outside to her cab. He asks her to dinner, and she offers to share a coffee with him before her flight takes her to her next game assignment in Australia.

I would like to strongly encourage all Stickman readers with an interest in Thailand to watch The Game because it’s almost a perfect analogy as to what is happening to us Westerners when we travel to Thailand. Just like Nicholas – each one of us has entered a game that has or soon will change our lives and just like it has for Nicholas the game we have entered has risks to our businesses, our reputations, our finances and our safety. I would also add additional risks – to our mental and emotional well-being. Nicholas’s character in the movie is on edge emotionally and psychologically due to his participation in the game. He is behaving erratically. He is in a fragile state and is dangerous to both himself and to those around him. His loved ones and his business associates think he is crazy as he tries desperately to figure out what is going on and to understand the purpose of the game.

For us western men – Thailand is the game. The game is Thailand. We are participants in a game. Some of us understand perfectly what the purpose of the game is from the very beginning before we play it and before it costs us too much financially and emotionally but some of us are not that lucky (more on this later). Others determine the purpose of the game whilst they are busy playing it whilst others still discover the purpose after returning home and reflecting (perhaps in a moment of clarity) on the game from the solitude and isolation of the West. The purpose of the game of course is for the beautiful bargirls to extract as much money as possible from us – the hapless farang – the leading men of the game. The extraction might be short term or medium term (bar fines / direct payment for sex short / long time) or longer term (buying land in your teerak's name in Isaan, setting your teerak up in a business etc). The emotional rollercoaster ride we are on is caused by playing the game. We are the stars and the spotlight is very much on us. The cast is made up of a number of actors and actresses all playing central or supporting roles in the game and from the moment we leave home our game begins. The first actor we encounter is the taxi driver in Farangland who takes us from our home to the airport. Next we come into contact with various airport staff acting out their roles. We board a Thai Airways flight with smiling Thais who greet us with a wai and another on departing as we exit the plane and jump in a taxi to Bangkok or Pattaya City. We make our way to our hotels in a taxi driven by another actor and we arrive to be greeted by yet more actors. Our first night out and the action really hots up. We are entering a period of the game where very soon the beautiful people will start to play their main roles. More actors appear – from the motorcycle taxi riders to the bar owners and finally – to the beautiful women or ladyboys that we engage with that elicit such strong positive emotions in us. They are all actors and they are all playing parts – and just like in the movie The Game it’s our job to remember that we are participants in a game – the game is in operation and our goal is to figure out the purpose of the game and to get through the game and survive this emotional rollercoaster ride with it’s massive highs and terrible lows and hopefully to survive in such a way that we are not too broken financially or emotionally.

Observe: the game is not being played on a level playing field. In fact – just like at the casino – the odds are very much stacked against us. The house always wins. The house in our cases is Thailand and both the house and the houses hosts (the actors) have advantages that are heavily stacked in their favour. The probabilities are very much against us. We have everything to lose and the house has everything to gain. The Pretenders a cynical bloke who follows the maxim: Beware the man, the woman or the country with nothing to lose.

Let’s now talk about the 2012 film ‘My Thai Bride’ which stars Ted from the UK. I strongly encourage all Stickman readers with an interest in Thailand to watch this excellent award-winning film by David Tucker. You can watch the trailer here.

Ted is a 46 year-old salesman from Wales. He is divorced, feels marginalised by middle age and is tired of life in the ‘nanny state’. Ted is a frequent visitor to Thailand as a result of his job in an import business. He revels in the freedom he finds in a country where everything is for sale at the right price; including the beautiful young women who want to be with him. Ted meets Tip who is working in the Rooster Bar. She is in her mid thirties, from the north-eastern Isaan region, the poorest part of Thailand. Like many Isaan women, Tip is uneducated and could never earn enough to own her house or educate her child. She hates the thought of her daughter growing up to be involved in prostitution. When she meets Ted, she thinks she has finally found a foreigner who will take care of her and her daughter. Ted returns to the UK, but stays in contact with Tip by telephone. He sends her money so she can give up her bar job and return to her family’s farm in her village, Krasang. After a few months, at Tip’s request, Ted returns to Thailand and marries her. Ted liquidates his assets in Wales and sinks his money into building a house and piggery on Tip’s family farm. He soon discovers there are many other foreign men who have married and settled in northeast Thailand. For many Isaan women, marriage to a foreigner provides a way out of debt and a lifetime of difficult work. In northeast Thailand, marriage to a foreigner has become an industry. John, an Australian, says that there are about 90 foreigners living within a five-kilometre radius and that new foreigners arrive every week. Larry, an American, built his wife a large, luxurious house in Krasang. Larry believes she does love him, even though she tells him she doesn’t. Grant’s wife Pon says that when she took Grant home to Krasang, her friends and relatives all came over to her house to see the foreigner, because they couldn’t believe she got one. Within 12 months, Ted’s hopes for a better life have been dashed. His money has disappeared much faster than he expected. Tip and her family don’t seem to want him around the farm anymore. When Ted asks Tip if she loves him, she says: “I can’t eat or drink your love.” Ted leaves the farm destitute and wonders whether it had been a con all along. Ted rents a room in a nearby town. After surviving on credit for several months, Ted begs Tip to give him some of his money back. She is only willing to buy him a one-way ticket back to the UK.

Economically, Ted and Tip have traded places and Ted has learned what his Thai wife already knew: without money, you lose everything. My Thai Bride is about the power of money to save and destroy – and the harm that ensues when people are reduced to commodities. While there have been other films about prostitution in Thailand, My Thai Bride explores the lesser known story of the foreign marriage industry and the consequences for the men and women involved.

Ted figured out the purpose of the game he participated in (which was tailored specifically for him) too late – after he lost everything. He is poorer but now – much wiser to the game and his role in it.

You see – the game in Thailand is a high stakes one and each of its participants have spent a lifetime back home in the West being prepared to enter the game but without any knowledge of the fact that they are being prepared nor how to play the game when they arrive. The preparation back home is also a game and it begins in earnest when a man comes of age and enters the world of dating, relationships and marriage. He entered a world where women controlled all the outcomes and for him to get what he really wanted (sex) he had to play by the rules and if he was just one of the hoards of beta men that meant working very hard and being a good little utility and a puppet for women who didn’t really need men like him anymore as they were now empowered, strong and independent women (they were of course still looking up to higher status, higher earning and more powerful men and bypassing him). Everywhere he turned society put him down, told him he was not good enough and made him work harder for the love and approval of women. So he played the game, got into a relationship or married a woman well below his station (as we all know – women marry up so this was his only choice) and this was OK for a number of years but then the divorce hit. Divorce is the end of the preparation for the western man – all that hard work, all that striving, all that trying and he has ended up on his own. Lonely. He is now ready to enter the game in Thailand – his lifetime of preparation has made him the perfect game participant – he is emotionally downtrodden and vulnerable, easy to deceive and easy to extract money from as he is starved of affection and has internalized the fact that he was never considered good enough back home in the West by western women with their insatiable, hypergamous lust for high status men. At least – not good enough for the beautiful western women he always wanted. He then travels to Thailand on that fateful first trip and he is stunned by what he finds – all the attention, affection and sex he has ever wanted – and from women much more beautiful than he could ever hope to get back home – at a price. But the price he can afford (or so he thinks).

You are Nicholas Van Orton – the wealthy investment banker. You are also Ted the 46-year-old salesman from Wales. You’re the participant in the Thailand game and if you’re smart and self-aware you will realise that your reputation, your finances, your safety and your emotional and psychological well-being are all very much at risk.

The western man who travels to Thailand has entered a high-risk game. He is engaging in intimate cross-cultural liaisons with actors of the game in Thailand that he both stars in and is financing. We must never forget these important facts. The gutter or the poorhouse awaits those who forget.

When we enter into an intimate liaison with another person we enter into an altered chemical state. The beautiful feeling of falling in love and having great sexual experiences are chemical highs which wear off. This is why it gets harder maintaining a relationship with the same person over time. It's nature’s way of ensuring we perpetuate the species – and with new and different women. Now – what about the law? In Thailand a foreigner cannot own land in his own name and can only own 49% of a business – the other 51% has to be owned by a Thai. The law has the foreigner stitched up from the beginning. To use an old phrase – the Thais “saw him coming”. Or as Saul Bloom in the movie Oceans Eleven says to Brad Pitt's character Rusty Ryan at the racetrack "I saw you at the paddock……before the second race, outside the men's room when I placed my bet. I saw you before you even got up this morning."

As I have said – love and sex chemical highs wear off over time – and this occurs with 100% certainty. The farang in Thailand is not on an even playing field. His Thai beauty has the upper hand. She is in a position where she has nothing to lose and everything to gain whilst he is in a position – and think about this carefully – where he has everything to lose (most or all of his assets) and what he will gain – the reason he is there in the first place – will slowly but surely disappear over time as the chemical high wears off and he recovers from his altered chemical state. The relationship is almost certainly temporary – the Thai business laws and the advantages for his teerak however are very permanent.

You would almost certainly have seen the classic 1983 moving ‘Trading Places’ starring Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd and if so you know very well how it ends. The participants trade places – Valentine, Winthorpe, Ophelia (the prostitute), and Coleman (the butler) get rich and bankrupt the Duke brothers.

Valentine: “Oh, see I made Louis a bet here. Louis bet me that we couldn't get rich and put you in the poorhouse. He didn't think we could do it. I won.”
Winthorpe: “I lost. One dollar.”
Valentine: “Thank you, Louis.”

Be very careful in Thailand, gentlemen. As participants in the game you are the leading men – the stars and you are quite literally the business. You are financing the game as well as starring in it and your game is unique and tailored specifically to you. That’s quite a role you have forged for yourself, farang! Your sex drive and the baron and desolate dating landscape back home in the West for mature men over age 35 conspired to bring you here to the land of smiles. Your altered chemical state made you ripe for the plucking. The odds were always against you and the probability was always that you would end up losing financially. Some of you will lose big and some will lose small. You may very well (as I have) gained something special emotionally by playing this high-risk game but you have certainly paid money to experience this emotional gain and the Thais – your fellow actors in the game – have won economically. This is a fair deal. Maybe it beats the deal back home. Of course it does – or else why would we ever play such a high-risk emotional and financial game with odds that are so heavily stacked in the houses favour against us?

My advice to you is this gentleman, – a banker always asks for collateral from a borrower when he makes a loan. He will never enter a lending situation and risk significant capital where he is not protected on the downside. This is how you need to think as a westerner in Thailand. This thinking will save you economically and you won't ever lose your shirt. You are entering a game where you might very well gain emotionally but without your teerak bringing collateral to the table you are at very high risk financially. Cross-cultural relationships are very hard and the probability is your relationship will fail despite your best efforts to make it succeed and perhaps through no fault of your own.

If your relationship fails tomorrow are you protected?

If not, think very carefully about your situation and think very carefully about the Thais who are drawn to you. The Thais that are drawn to you may have little to no collateral. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You must be very wary of such people for the good of your economic and emotional well-being. Nobody has your back in Thailand except you. Only you have your best interests at heart.

Be careful out there, gentlemen, and all the best!

The Pretender

The Coolidge Effect in Pattaya

The Coolidge Effect in Pattaya

Written by: The Pretender

February 17th, 2015

17 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to talk about a phenomenon known as the ‘Coolidge Effect’ and how it applies to all men engaging in the naughty nightlife in Pattaya and how knowing about and respecting this phenomenon is very important.

In the movie Fight Club, Brad Pitt (Tyler) says to Edward Norton (Jack) outside Lou’s Tavern “How much can you really know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?”

In this submission I ask you: How much can you really know about yourself and your true nature as a man and your vulnerability to the Coolidge effect if you’ve never been to Pattaya?

Hold that question in your mind as you read through this submission.

The first time I arrived in Pattaya in November 2012 and walked down Soi 6 I just could not believe my eyes. I was in utter disbelief that such an environment existed in this world and I thought I was in heaven. I was so shocked and excited by what I had seen that I did a lap of the soi and then walked into the Lord Nelson Pub as it looked quite empty and my senses needed a rest. I sat down at the bar to have a drink on my own and to try to gather my thoughts and take in what I was witnessing all around me. As I sat and drank my beer a heavyset gentlemen walked in with his Thai girlfriend and started playing darts. I remarked to him that this was my first time in Pattaya and I could not believe my eyes as to the goings on outside. He didn’t even flinch as he continued to throw darts at the dartboard. It was obvious that he was an old hand in Pattaya and had grown used to the environment in Soi 6. He remarked that I had that newbie look about me and he had seen that stupid grin on the faces of men plenty of times before in Pattaya and then started talking about how Pattaya was Disney Land for western men. The amazed look on my face was very similar to the look on Emilio Estevez’s face in this great short clip from the movie Repo Man: (0:25 – 0:51).

That first fateful trip was over 2 years ago now. I have made another 3 trips since then and I have had plenty of time to gather my thoughts and feelings about Pattaya and I have over the course of those trips and years learned a lot about myself, my nature as a man and the nature of other men.

The very first trip to Pattaya is the one which for me was the most unbelievable as I had never been in such a sexually appealing environment before. I was not aware of the changes that were occurring in my brain due to being present in said environment (which I will discuss shortly). I was however aware of my thoughts and feelings and my thinking can be summed up perfectly with this very apt quote:

Man – You’ve hit the evolutionary jackpot

Think about that quote for a moment in the context of human evolution. Back in the day – on the planes of the savannah in Africa – how many times would a human male ever come across so many young, fertile and beautiful women in the one place at the one time? No makeup or cosmetics back then either remember. Our ancient male relatives would never have come across such a situation. If they did they would have gone into a frenzy of mating and had sex with as many different beautiful women as they could. Such is the nature of men – primed by evolution to seek out young, fertile, beautiful and sexually available women.

Thinking about the sexually charged environment in Soi 6 Pattaya – let’s now consider the phenomenon known as the “Coolidge Effect”. In biology and psychology, the Coolidge effect refers to a phenomenon seen in mammals whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners. Frank Beach was a behavioural endocrinologist who first mentioned the Coolidge effect in publication in 1955, crediting one of his students with suggesting the term at a psychology conference. It refers to an old joke about Calvin Coolidge when he was President. The President and Mrs Coolidge were being shown separately around an experimental government farm. When Mrs Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told “dozens of times each day”. Mrs Coolidge said “Tell that to the President when he comes by”. Upon being told, the President asked “Same hen every time?” The reply was “Oh no, Mr President, a different hen every time”. The President then said “Tell that to Mrs Coolidge”.

Empirical evidence has shown the Coolidge effect to be true. Experiments were made with rats whereby a rat was placed into an enclosed large box with four or five female rats in heat. The male rat immediately began to mate with all the female rats again and again until eventually he became exhausted. The females continued nudging and licking him, yet he did not respond. When a novel female was introduced into the box, he became alert and began to mate once again with the new female. The phenomenon is not limited to just chickens and rats. It has been observed in many mammalian species. The Coolidge effect is attributed to an increase in dopamine levels and the subsequent effect upon an animal’s limbic system (or paleomammalian brain) – a complex set of brain structures located on both sides of the thalamus, right under the cerebrum.

Graph: Note the time to ejaculation by the ram in the graph above is under two minutes with a different female sheep each time but with the same female sheep each time the time to ejaculation by the ram grows to 17 minutes by the fifth copulation:

The Coolidge effect is seen strikingly in farm animals such as sheep and cattle. Rams and bulls are resistant to repeating sex with the same female. Farmers know that for breeding purposes they need to have more than one male to service all their sheep and cows. A single bull can be relied upon to do the rounds of all the available cows and a single ram will eventually service all the sheep in his domain.

Donald Symons (1979) of the University of California, Santa Barbara, has pointed out that the term ‘indiscriminate’ has been applied inaccurately to male sexuality. Male animals do not choose their mates randomly; they identify and reject those that they have already had sex with. In the case of rams and bulls it is notoriously difficult to fool them that a female is unfamiliar. Attempts to disguise an old partner by covering her face and body or masking her vaginal odours with other smells are usually unsuccessful. Somehow she is identified as ‘already serviced’ and the male moves on to less familiar females. W. S. Gilbert’s assertion that ‘love unchanged will cloy’ (Trial by Jury) seems to apply with a vengeance down on the farm.

Despite us men having moral compunctions to deal with – the Coolidge effect is still very much in operation. Before marriage it is usual for men to initiate sexual intercourse at a fairly high frequency with their fiancée. After a few years of marriage however the husbands sexual appetite begins to wane and an apparent reversal of libido may even occur, with the now frustrated wife demanding more love-making than her ‘tired’ husband is able to supply. He, of course, is still perfectly capable of being aroused by his mistresses and office girls and, if fortunate enough to secure an invitation to an orgy, would have little difficulty completing intercourse with two or three anonymous young women in the course of the evening’s festivities. Sex therapists see many men who are reported as ‘impotent’ by their wives but who privately confess to considerable prowess with a succession of mistresses.

In my own case – I became interested in the Coolidge Effect one night after having two ejaculatory sexual experiences in a very short space of time in Soi 6 Pattaya. I picked up a ladyboy, had a drink with her, then went upstairs and had sex with her. Afterwards I showered and dressed and before I made it from one end of Soi 6 to the other I had already picked up another ladyboy, had a drink with her and was having sex again – in the space of under 30 minutes. That was the most extreme thing I have ever done (perhaps tame by Pattaya standards but I’m a white collared geek remember) and it taught me a lot about my nature as a man. I thought I was ‘out of control’ doing what I was doing but I couldn’t shake the thought that there must be a phenomenon to describe such male behaviour because it felt so good and so very natural – hence my research into it and coming across the Coolidge effect. Ten years in monogamous relationships with two different women also taught me that sex with the same woman gets really boring over time whilst (and note this carefully) her negative behaviour such as nagging, complaining and her sense of entitlement – grows significantly.

Men who watch pornography (all of us non liars) do a lot of clicking. Click, click, click – we load up a porn tube site and we are constantly clicking through video previews and opening windows of new and fresh porn, which contains imagery of women that we find the most attractive and sexually exciting.

What is happening in our minds as we masturbate in our porn sessions is dopamine is surging with every click as we come across scenes of new, novel, fresher female mates. It’s a rollercoaster ride between normal and high levels of dopamine until we end our session by climaxing. There is a very good Ted lecture by Gary Wilson titled “The Great Porn Experiment” which is about what happens in the male brain when watching porn. I encourage all of you to watch it.

On the streets of Pattaya in places like Soi 6 – new, novel, fresh females are being ‘presented’ to us in sexually appealing clothing and are available for us to have sex with. This is far more alluring than any Internet porn as this is occurring in real life. This place really exists! With each female presentation we are undergoing a dopamine surge and we become very sexually aroused with our hearts beating hard and fast as we think about how great it would be to have sex with this new, novel, fresh and sexually appealing beautiful and fertile young woman. In our minds we are in Disney Land and we don’t ever want to come down off this dopamine high let alone leave this unreal environment. Remember – our minds are telling us that we have “hit the evolutionary jackpot” and our bodies are responding accordingly. In fact – leaving this environment causes dopamine in our brains to return to normal or even low levels hence the feelings of depression that overcome many of us at Suvarnabhumi Airport as we wait for our flight home to boring, predictable farangland and the months of depression we face when adjusting back into our routine of low dopamine triggering western reality in environments like the corporate or government world where most of us are office drones that rank lowly in the dominance hierarchy or low level blue collar workers in drab manufacturing environments without much job autonomy or creative freedom.

As men – many – if not all of us would be willing to give up everything to stay in an environment like Pattaya where we can experience an unending variety of sexual experiences with new and novel young mates for the rest of our lives. Such is the nature of men with many of us (at least in our minds and if we are honest) willing to live in a cardboard box so long as we could stay in said environment with all its sexual freedoms. Our testosterone driven male sex drive and our lust for sex with new partners is extremely powerful – it can and in many cases does override all reason and logic. What else can explain the phenomenon of Pattaya being full of western men who have given up everything back home to live here but the almost complete absence of western women who have made the same decision (western women don’t seem to suffer from the Coolidge effect phenomenon anywhere near as badly as western men do).

I think it is very important that we recognise and respect our nature as men and our need for sexual variety. We should be especially cognisant of the Coolidge effect and how each of us is vulnerable to it and in an environment like Pattaya, Thailand – this effect is pronounced in each and every one of us and it is affecting our behaviour and our spending patterns. At all costs – we cannot afford to let things get out of hand. Many lessons can be learned from our fallen, broken or crazed western brothers – those men who came before us who have set up shop in Pattaya and ended up losing everything and in some cases even becoming homeless and living on the streets – a shocking and almost unbelievable sight for the Thais to witness. Add alcohol into the mix and Pattaya can get the better of even the best and brightest of us. It’s all a slippery slope (no pun intended).

As you walk down Soi 6 try to imagine yourself as part of a human science project run by cynical businessmen out to make money. The scientists and businessmen have colluded to manufacture the perfect stimulatory environment to make as much money from you as possible by causing you to experience the Coolidge effect again and again over and over. They understand intuitively that the unending male need for variety ensures a constant revenue stream out of your pockets and into the pockets of the bar owners, mamasans, the bar girls and all the associated hangers on. Bless them all – for without them – how much would I have learned about my true nature as a man? The understanding and acknowledgment of which has given me so much more freedom than most of my fellow men that are locked into sexless marriages with moody and aging, bitching and entitled wives.

Now – think about the poor and homeless western men living on the streets of Pattaya. How did things get to a point in their lives where they have lost everything and are living on the streets?

“Alcohol, drugs and prostitutes – it’s a dangerous cocktail that can lead to social suicide for western men. It’s so easy as well to get caught up in it all. You come here the first time and it’s like heroin. You can buy everything and everything is happiness and as soon as you pay someone you get everything you want. Then – to experience that again you come back to Thailand to live here and you never get that high again and people just get stuck here.”

Could these homeless western men be victims of the Coolidge effect? The repeat behaviour of which leads to spending money hand over first over time – the ultimate repeat purchase business for the bar owners, bar girls and their associates.

I ask you to reflect on these questions:

1. Where are all the homeless western women in Thailand?
2. Why are all the homeless western men and not western women?
3. How many western women give up everything to move to Thailand, spend night after night drinking in the bars, having sex with a variety of handsome Thai men? There might be some but I’ve never seen any.

The story is always the same – the homeless in Thailand are all men and it’s our natural drive and instinct for sexual variety, which can be satisfied (for a price) in an environment like Pattaya which can end up costing us everything if we are not careful. Don’t end up poor and homeless like Kotto – the American stranded in Pattaya raving about cigarette butts in the ocean:

Lastly – think about the phenomenon known as the ‘Pattaya Flying Club’. In November 2014 an American man became the latest member of the club and committed suicide after falling 27 stories to his death. His name was Douglas Rex Reinehart and he was 52 years old. Reinehart left a note saying “I’m out of money, I over stayed my visa, quit my job so it seemed a good time to end it all. We all have to go some time, might as well be with a couple of nights of partying in Pattaya.” There is a video here which has animation of the situation before his jump:

How many times have we all heard the expression “No money no honey”?

What about: “No money, no honey, no dopamine high”.

Being in Thailand and having no money left, facing the prospect of the sex tap (dopamine delivery device) being turned off permanently would be a frightening and very depressing situation which would have to lead to a dopamine low in the human male brain which would likely negatively affect decision making over a medium term period of time (days, weeks, months) which can lead to a farang making the fateful decision to commit suicide. These farang are literally walking around in an abnormally low altered abnormal chemical state (just as we farang are in the red light districts in Thailand but with an abnormally high altered chemical state). Studies have been done about the role of dopamine in suicidal behaviour and I believe that members of the Pattaya Flying Club are in a depressed mental state brought on by a variety of factors such as lack of money, loss of large amounts of money, sex tap off and negative thoughts about having to return home to farang land which have combined to caused a cumulative dopamine low – a ‘perfect storm’ so to speak – the occurrence of said perfect storms we will note is particularly common in Pattaya – the suicide rate amongst foreigners living in Pattaya averages one per week according to some reports.

We must as men recognise our nature and at all costs recognise the Coolidge effect and how it impacts dopamine production in our brains and pay great respect to it. We all have to be so very careful in Pattaya – play the game and don’t let the game play you. I have heard that expression a number of times now in my travels in Thailand – no truer words have ever been spoken.

Want to learn more about yourself as a man and your vulnerability to the Coolidge effect? Travel to Pattaya, Thailand and visit Soi 6.

You will learn more about your true nature as a man in 1 night in Soi 6 Pattaya than you have in 10 years in a monogamous relationship back home in the West.

All the best Gentlemen!

The Pretender

Stickman's thoughts:

There is more to life than sex. Much more.

Briffault’s Law Financial Considerations

Briffault’s Law Financial Considerations

Written by: The Pretender

February 17th, 2015

15 min read

Original published URL:



In this article I would like to talk about Briffault’s Law and the importance of good financial planning for western men when it comes to a Thai woman associating with you for a long-term relationship or marriage in Thailand.

Old, Fat and Bald penned an excellent submission on Briffault’s Law which is required background reading for this submission and for those of you who have no knowledge on this important subject:

Briffault’s Law:

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.


1. Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.

2. Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1).

3. A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).

Money is a very important subject of interest for us westerners in Thailand especially given the way we are seen by the Thais. As the saying goes “no money, no honey”. Thailand however is a very challenging country for us westerners when it comes to our money and assets due to the fact that we:

A. Cannot own land in our own name in Thailand.
B. The various Thai business laws which have been deliberately constructed in such a manner that there are numerous advantages which are slanted heavily in the Thais' favour.
C. Our Thai woman will in all almost all cases (bar very exceptional ones) be less financially well off than ourselves given that all women everywhere ‘marry up’ and she is bringing no commensurate level of financial security or collateral to the table.

Thinking about Briffault’s Law and the corollaries added by Old, Fat and Bald I would like to ask a very important question and explore answers to it in this submission:

How can us western men setup a financial situation whereby we are able to provide an ongoing financial benefit to our Thai woman in such a way that we abide by Briffault’s Law yet still ensure that we protect ourselves in the event that if things go wrong with our Thai woman (which is probable) – that we don’t end up losing most of we own?

In general – I see the entire country of Thailand and our involvement in it as westerners as akin to a casino. The odds are rigged in the house's favour. We are the punters. Do not ever lose sight of this important fact. We are playing what is known as a ‘losers game’. Please do not be offended by the term loser for this is not meant as an insult to any of you personally on an individual level. A loser’s game is any game that players participate in which the odds are stacked against the players and in favour of the house or the houses associates. The stock market is an example of a loser’s game. The stock markets associates are the stockbrokers and other ‘helpers’ who make money off the transactions of the players. Regardless of whether the players make money or lose money – the brokers always get their commissions – like the Duke brothers from the movie Trading Places:

There was an excellent book written back in 2007 about investing in the stock market titled “The Little Book of Common Sense Investing” by one of the most honest men on Wall Street – John C Bogle, which I highly recommend that all of you read:

In it Bogle talks about how to win the losers game of investing in the stock market by avoiding trying to pick winners and simply buying an index fund and holding it forever. Buying an index fund simply means you’re buying a small piece of every single business in the stock market. Essentially this is the only winning strategy in investing in the stock market (a losers game – where the odds are stacked against you) over the long term.

Marriage and long-term relationships are another example of a loser’s game. The divorce statistics prove this. In the US – 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. There is an article about the high failure rate of second and third marriages here:

“The growing independence between genders is thought to be one of the reasons for the significant increase in the incidence of divorce in first marriages during recent decades. Women have become more financially independent”.

Many of us westerners in Thailand have been divorced and many of us are on our third attempt at marriage or a long-term relationship. Given the fact that we are on our third attempt at marriage and we have significant emotional baggage and in Thailand we also face additional obstacles such as the language barrier, cross cultural relationship issues and other cultural issues integrating into a new and very different society – I estimate that our odds of divorce are around 90%. With only a 10% chance of success – we need to ensure that we are very careful playing these dual losers games and that we play them in such a way that we minimise our loses should we end up losing (which is probable).

My view of how to win the Thailand game after much study on the topic and much thinking and reflection on investing in general and very careful observation of female nature together with acknowledgement of Briffault’s Law is:

1. Do not under any circumstances sell everything you own back home and bring all your assets to Thailand in the form of money, gold or other precious metals. The laws in your own country will almost certainly provide you with more protection for your assets than those in Thailand.
2. Keep control of your money at all costs and do not ever turn control of your money or your assets over to your Thai woman.
3. Avoid putting too much of your money into assets in Thailand – whether that be in condos, land in Isaan, businesses or any other assets.
4. Keep the bulk of your assets (90%+ or more for you richer upper class men) in your own country.
5. Live in Thailand off the income that is generated by your assets that are located in your home country.
6. Prior to departing your home country to live in Thailand – sell off and do not invest in anything in Farangland that ‘eats or needs maintenance’ – no houses, no offices, no businesses, no horses etc that you need to actively manage. Instead – invest in what I term ‘mobile capital’. Assets in particular like index funds and pensions which you have accounts set up for in the West but which you do not need to actively manage nor have to travel to manage them or provide maintenance on the ground like houses, offices, businesses etc.

Given that you as a foreigner cannot own land in Thailand – condos in Thailand are likely to be a very poor investment from a financial viewpoint but a condo may be an essential purchase given the nature of the female and given that your younger Thai woman is benefiting from associating with you due in no small part to what you own or are seen to own. Purchasing a condo and setting up life together will in many cases be important. In the view of many older western men looking to retire in Thailand – condos are cheap in comparison to the cost of a house or apartment back home. The purchase of a condo in Thailand will in most cases represent but a small fraction of the assets a successful middle to upper middle class western man owns. Of course you should buy a condo in Thailand in your own name if possible but always consider any money and assets that you have in Thailand to be seen by your Thai woman essentially as hers at the end of the day. That gentlemen goes regardless of the class of Thai woman. The risk of losing your condo in a separation or a divorce may very well be the price you pay to abide by Briffault’s Law and corollaries as stipulated by Old, Fat and Bald.

I would also avoid telling your woman how much income you are receiving from any pension or index funds you have setup back in Farangland. Divulging such financial information can only lead to trouble both in the present (what have you done for me lately? We can afford it etc) and in the future if separation or divorce occurs (which is probable remember). Your income from Farangland is important of course to your standard of living in Thailand but it is also important to your ability to abide by Briffault’s Law and provide an ongoing benefit to your Thai woman – the absence of which will lead you to transgressing Briffault’s Law which will almost certainly mean the end to your lovely Thai teerak’s association with you.

Remember our friend Ted in Thailand from the documentary ‘My Thai Bride’ which I recommended you all watch? Ted paid the price of failing to heed Briffault’s Law in relation to his personal financial planning. His Thai wife got the farm, the house and everything else and he was left with nothing as he sold up everything he owned back in Farangland to come to Thailand. As he himself said “you lose everything without money”. He ended up having to go back home to the UK a broken man both emotionally and financially. If you study the film My Thai Bride carefully you will see that Tips love for Ted turned into indifference over time. Her emotions of love wore off but the house, farm and other assets remained and remained in her ownership. Some choice quotes from Ted, Tip and others from the documentary – reflect on Briffault’s Law as you read them:

Tip: “Everyone hates bar work – it was a good way to meet a foreigner – I had to do it to support my child”.

Foreigner in remote farming community referring to his younger wife: “I believe she does love me – even though she tells me she don’t”.

Tip: “He say he loves me– I love you Tip blah blah blah – I cannot eat your love”.

Tip: “We began staying together – he said he would look after me”.

Tip: “When Edward came to Thailand he spent a lot of money. He spent money very extravagantly. I didn’t want him to run out”.

Ted: “She’s saving me money, she’s sensible with my money and suddenly she’s in control of my money. The more confidence I got in her of doing the right thing with my money, the more money I put in her control”.

Tip: “Edward would send money to take care of my child”.

I could go on but I wont – please do watch the documentary gentlemen as there are many more relevant quotes in it in relation to Briffault’s Law and as you watch it – reflect on Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions below which I have also translated into Thai (you would be amazed at how many emotional misunderstandings with bar girls and ladyboys I have resolved in Thailand by referring them to Plutchik’s Wheel on my iPhone):

What struck me most about Ted’s experience with Tip in Thailand was how over time her emotions of love gave way to indifference as her need (love) in Ted dissipated (hate is not the opposite of love – indifference is). One can only observe from Ted and other western men who have lost everything to both good and bad women in Thailand that it is in the nature of the female that if a man makes himself redundant for whatever reason then she has no further need (love) for him and he is at very high risk of being discarded as per corollary two of Briffault’s Law “Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit”. Buying a woman a house on land in Thailand in her name – buying her freedom – or in other words – buying her a perpetual benefit in land – gives her every reason to lose her love (need) for you and kick your arse to the curb which means back on the plane for you Sir. When you buy a house for your Thai woman in Thailand in her name you are losing an important bargaining chip (you are removing the important influence of the promise of a future benefit) in your relationship by transgressing corollary three of Briffault’s Law. You are essentially providing her with her future benefit – which she cares very much about and is a large reason why she is associating with you – (a paid off house on land in Thailand) today.

May I now refer you all to our esteemed colleague Caveman’s very astute observation and law from his brilliant submission “What Women Want”:

Whenever a woman says she loves you, substitute the word “need” for “love” and 100% of the time it will be a true statement”.

As most of you who have read my past Stickman submissions are aware – I’m a 35-year-old bisexual man (bisexual only in Thailand) and I like both Thai women and Thai ladyboys. The jury is still out on whether a ladyboy (partly male in heart and mind if not in spirit) would behave in the same manner as a female given the fact that we hold values such as honour, integrity and trustworthiness to be so important in our lives and dealings with others. I will you keep you posted on my future findings – I am planning on living in self-imposed exile from the Western world for three months in Thailand in Pattaya, Bangkok and Isaan in May, June and July of 2015. Meet ups are possible – please contact me to arrange a place, date and time.

Just as a quick side note – there was this guy on the Internet I was reading about who was going through a divorce. He of course wanted to keep all the money he had built up before his marriage so you know what the guy did? When the relationship starting going badly with his wife he joined gamblers anonymous and then he joined alcoholics anonymous. His thought process was centred on a concept known as 'plausible deniability'. He cleaned out all his bank accounts and when he was called into divorce court by his wife’s lawyers he told the judge that he had fallen back into booze and this lead him to also fall back into his gambling habit and he had lost all his money gambling and drinking. Since he did this before his wife filed for divorce there was nothing she or her lawyer could do to get any past asset money out of him. He apparently hid the money in a shoebox in his brothers safe. You know it occurs to me that the Thais see many of us westerners as overweight, drunken, womanising morons considering the behaviour they witness some of our best and brightest engaging in especially in places like Pattaya. Perhaps joining sex addiction anonymous would be plausibly appropriate prior to divorce in Thailand?

In conclusion – I believe that it is possible to play the double jeopardy losers games in Thailand (Thailand itself is loser’s game number one. Marriage and long-term relationship with a woman in Thailand is losers game number two) but only by recognition that both games are rigged against you so you must plan accordingly. It’s all an exercise in risk management and strict adherence to Briffault’s Law. Recognition of female nature is necessary for success at game two. If say 90% of your assets are back home in the West in the form of mobile capital, pensions etc and you live in Thailand off your income – if anything goes bad for you (the emotions of your woman turn from positive to negative over time which cause her attitude, feelings and actions towards you to become negative) – you wont find yourself in Ted’s position of having to scuttle off back to Farangland with nothing to your name. Not a great position to be in Sir after a lifetime of work. You may lose your condo in Thailand and any other ‘couple assets’ you build together and your love life but you will return home to Farangland and be back on your feet financially – or more likely – you will stay in Thailand and reinvent your love life with a new teerak – because you will be able to afford to do so. As the saying goes – those who fail to plan – plan to fail!

Anyway – be careful out there my friends. Do not fight Briffault’s Law – you might fight the law but Briffault will win. It’s female bloody nature:

All the best Gentlemen!

The Pretender Nerds And Ladyboys Are A Natural Fit For Each Other

Nerds And Ladyboys Are A Natural Fit For Each Other

Written by: The Pretender

January 25th, 2016

5 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to discuss why nerds and ladyboys are a natural fit for one another.

Both ladyboys and nerds are socially ostracised. Both therefore have a very good understanding of what it is like to be excluded from the majority and the mainstream social collective.

Both nerds and ladyboys do not conform to social expectations. One might say that both violate social conventions and make mainstream people nervous and uncomfortable. The nerd makes people uncomfortable because the nerd is more intelligent than they are and people find it very difficult being around people who are more intelligent than themselves. The ladyboy makes people uncomfortable because she does not fit into the prevailing male or female gender norms and she dresses and behaves like a woman despite in most cases still having a penis. People can be hesitant around ladyboys and not know what to expect if they have never dealt with one before.

I have noted that ladyboy bars here in Pattaya have western men hanging around who back home would be described as nerds. I too am a nerd and I have found that nerds and ladyboys go together very well and are a natural fit for one another. The ladyboy doesn’t view the nerd as a nerd the way a western person would. Many nerds (being persons of high intelligence) don’t view the ladyboy the way a Thai person would and nerds maintain an open mind and open heart towards them. The nerd seeks to understand people and society and views the opportunity to meet and interact with a ladyboy as a learning opportunity. Maybe even as a personal scientific project of sorts. Certainly in my case I sort to understand the nature of women and indeed – my own nature as a man and ladyboys were the perfect way to gain this understanding particularly on the level of the heart – which is not available in a textbook.

Nerds like to gain success by applying their minds to solve difficult problems mostly in academic, scientific, engineering, management or information technology related disciplines but can be found anywhere that offers a challenging working environment surrounded by other nerds with high IQ’s. Gaining status is of less importance to a nerd as nerds understand that status will be a natural byproduct of succeeding in solving problems.

Ladyboys are limited in occupations due to societies prejudices and general idiocy and can be mostly found in the entertainment and sex industries where they are very much appreciated for their outgoing nature, their beautiful appearance and accepting personalities. They can be seen wowing audiences at cabaret shows or turning the heads of tourists in red light areas in Bangkok and Pattaya with their beautiful and striking appearance.

Nerds and ladyboys are both used to not fitting in. I myself am a Myers Briggs INTJ. The prototypical scientist. We INTJ’s make up just 1% of the population. I have very few close friends and those I do count as close friends are of unusually high intelligence or are doing or working on things or in industries of particular interest to me. I do have a number of celebrities as friends but these people are doing exceptional or very unusual things and I don’t usually go out of my way to meet most celebrities that appear in the mainstream media.

I have mentioned to a few ladyboys now that they will almost certainly find the acceptance and respect that they are universally looking for in the arms, hearts and minds of a scientist or nerd and both the nerd and the ladyboy will be very happy to be there after being treated so poorly by mainstream society. Nerds and ladyboys are a natural fit for one another and I encourage any of my fans who are nerds to consider dating a transgendered person as you may find like I have that they don’t view you as a nerd and many will give you the acceptance, respect and understanding that mainstream society doesn’t unless you are a high status nerd in a position of authority or power over people and have gained wealth and resources.

Ladyboys can have a lot of friends – or more accurately – acquaintances – being so open and socially connected due to the nature of their work in the entertainment and sex industries. The most beautiful can have thousands of friends and followers. A nerd can offer a ladyboy many gifts apart from money – the most important being the ability to help the ladyboy to understand themselves and their nature and why they are the way they are. High IQ nerds – in other words – scientists have the analytical ability to study difficult and abstract concepts and some scientists also have the gift of the gab and can explain these things to the everyday person on the street in a way that they understand. I rather enjoyed discussing the difference between the male and transsexual brain to a more educated ladyboy friend of mine and I could tell that she was interested in discovering more about herself.

Anyway – to those of you out there who are nerds and interested in ladyboys – open your hearts and minds and see what you find. You might just find like I have that both you and your ladyboy friends will be very happy to know each other.

Until next time Gentlemen – all the best!


PS: Perhaps you could include a link to my YouTube channel as some of my articles I have spent considerable time creating in video format and I think your readers may like to see them:

Stick's thoughts:

Interesting topic which got me thinking about the profile of guys who go for Thai ladyboys. I've stuck my head in ladyboy bars while doing the rounds and am happy to admit I enjoy a few drinks at Cockatoo – the one ladyboy bar I genuinely feel comfortable in (which might be because I used to be known in there and was left alone). I've never really noticed a pattern with the profile of the customers. You get some guys who look effeminate, some who look macho and some who look like they were bullied at school. You don't see many "lads" and my guess is that the average age of guys in ladyboy bars is a smidgen higher than in the bars with ladies only. I've never noticed a lot of nerds, but then I have not been looking that closely.

The Perfect Mate

The Perfect Mate

Written by: The Pretender

February 4th, 2016

7 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to discuss a Star Trek The Next Generation episode titled The Perfect Mate. The episode features a beautiful woman by the name of Kamala who is an empathic metamorph, genetically predisposed to suit the desires of any man she is with. She has the ability to sense what a potential mate wants, what he needs, what gives him the greatest pleasure and then to become that for him until she reaches the final stage of bonding, where she must imprint upon herself the requirements of one man, to serve as his perfect partner in life.

Kamala causes quite a stir around the ship and wherever she goes she stirs feelings of affection, adoration, and lust in the hearts of male crew members and visitors. This is due to her being in the final stage of her sexual maturity, where her body produces an unusually high number of pheromones which are very provocative to members of the opposite sex. Because this is the final stage of her sexual maturation, she must also bond with whoever she wishes to be the most like for the rest of her life in a very short time.

The episode is fascinating to me as Kamala's behaviour is so similar to the behaviour of the beautiful bar girls and ladyboys of Thailand. I have spent quite a lot of time now in red light areas in Pattaya and I have gotten to know several ladyboys very well. These are people I now class as friends and in one particular case – almost as a partner. I feel a deep level of desire towards this one ladyboy in particular whos behaviour is so incredibly similar to Kamala’s.
Just like Kamala – some of these Thai ladyboys (and genetic women) are able to morph into exactly what I as a western man wants and needs and in a very short timeframe. Like all men – I am driven towards female beauty and I find the Thai women and ladyboys to be stunningly beautiful. They are fascinating to me and I believe they also find me fascinating and of course – find my wallet helpful to their lifestyle requirements. A perfect match.

I have never once met a western woman here in the West who has behaved in the manner Kamala does in that Star Trek episode but I have noted some western women behaving in a watered down version of that manner when attempting to hook a man into marriage.

The power of the Thai women and ladyboys is that they can so convincingly become exactly what we western men want. It’s as if western women have forgotten this incredibly useful skill or perhaps the economic reality of life in the West under institutionalised feminism and gender equality has repressed this alluring behaviour in them. Note carefully the behaviour of western women in farangland. How strikingly opposite this behaviour is when compared to Kamala's behaviour. Yet these women can’t understand why they cannot successfully find a man. Where have all the good men gone they exclaim!
Think back to your 20s when you were first starting to go out to nightclubs and bars. How many times did you meet a woman that behaved like Kamala? I hazard to guess it would have been a very rare occurrence. Women are however capable of behaving precisely in this manner – when they really want to hook a man. Or – more accurately – when they have identified a man they believe will be the best resource provider for them.

Consider and then compare and contrast Kamala's alluringly feminine behaviour to the toxic, man hating behaviour that you are much more accustomed to in the West.

Feminist dogma is the overarching policy in the West which afflicts the entire society. It has spread like an infection – it truly is a virus of the mind. Just like religion. The Western world is an uncomfortable place to be for a western man when compared to places like Thailand. Women like Chanty Binx (Google her) have reached the highest echelons of western government and society. Perhaps not women as extreme as her but the parallels are frightening. Even more frightening is the idea that feminism is female nature politicised. Think about that statement for there is much wisdom in it. The western world is a highly mechanised and technologically sophisticated society with a high level of economic development and when these conditions are present we get feminism in all it’s forms as women “don’t need men anymore”. The developing world is less mechanised and it clearly shows in the behaviour of women. It truly is frightening to think though that even the women you meet in Thailand – would they be so compliant or available to you if the economic conditions were similar to the West?

There are forces at play in western society which negatively affect us as men and sometimes the only thing you can do is to leave the West and go to a different society to experience a different culture where the values of the people are different or the economic situation keeps women in check and ensures that feminism is less prevalent. Respect, tolerance, taking care of men – I see, hear and experience that a lot in Thailand from both women and ladyboys. Not so much here in the West though. The forces that shape society shape its participants and I don’t like the dating options I have in the West in comparison to Thailand. I just don’t like how western society has created such a highly entitled western woman. Their empowerment has disempowered me. Women marry up and in a society of equals my only option as an average man is a below average woman. Sorry – but that is unacceptable to me and I’m voting with my feet. Western men who choose poor, uneducated bar girls in Thailand vote with their actions that they too don’t like the situation on the ground in western society. The only escape I see is to expat and with each passing day I feel more and more inclined to do exactly that. I’m 36 years old now and it’s really just a matter of time before I ex pat to Thailand. As a participant in the Pattaya nightlife – I represent a member of the youngest demographic. Few sex tourists begin before age 40 and most are late 40’s to mid 50’s so I got off to an early start when I made that first trip when I was 33 years old.

I will leave you with a few thoughts which occurred to me during a recent trip to Pattaya. If it is men that are the true romantics disguised as idealists and women who are the idealists disguised as romantics. So when a man falls in love with a woman he falls in love with her person-hood – not what she can do for him and when a woman falls in love with a man she falls in love with the image of him – she falls in love with him as a utility – for what he can do for her. He falls in love with her for who she is. She falls in love with him for for what he is. There is a big difference there and it was my sexual experiences with the ladyboys of Pattaya, Thailand that raised my consciousness to this uncomfortable truth of female nature.

When a man and a ladyboy fall in love they both fall in love with each others person-hood. A man sees the physical beauty of a ladyboy and is stunned to discover that just like him she is a romantic at heart (which is very different to when a man sees the beauty of a genetic woman, falls in love with her but then finds out that she is really an idealist at heart.)

I would like to encourage each of you who have an interest in Thailand to watch the Star trek episode The Perfect Mate and let me know your thoughts. It’s available free online. Consider it required research for your Thailand adventures:

All the best gentlemen!

The Pretender

Ladyboy Behaviour in the Western World

Ladyboy Behaviour in the Western World

Written by: The Pretender

February 5th, 2016

7 min read

Original published URL:



Last night a good friend and I attended a beauty pageant in Melbourne, Australia in which a number of transsexuals were present from both Thailand and the Phillipines. One of the contestants was obviously and very literally fresh off the plane from Thailand. She spoke entirely in Thai and had a Thai translator. Out of all the contestants she really stood out. Not just for her beauty but for her behaviour. Watching her perform and listening to her speak was like I was sitting right there at Tiffany's or Alcazar cabaret shows in Pattaya. She was the odd one out. The rest of the contestants behaved differently to her and it was easily observable that they had been here in the West for longer and it was obvious they had become westernized. They behaved accordingly. Among the crowd of onlookers were a number of Thai and Filipino ladyboys and they behaved like they had lots of other options – for example – other men who were willing to pay them money rather than hang out there and pick up a man in the crowd for a night of fun despite them being obviously attracted to my friend and myself given the way they were flirting, smiling and engaging in small talk at times with us. It was fascinating watching and closely observing the behaviour of the ladyboys in Australia at this event.

Last night closed for good the debate that had been taking place in my mind about whether or not to bring a ladyboy here to Australia for any kind of intimate relationship. I cannot and will not do it. I am now 100% certain that I will become an expat and I will leave Australia and live in Thailand. It's just a matter of time. I cannot get here in Australia whats available in the hearts of the ladyboys in Thailand and what's in the heart of a ladyboy in Thailand would rapidly change if I was to bring one here to Australia due to the extreme amount of incoming interest from my fellow western men. It took me all of a few hours to change my behaviour when I experienced Pattaya for the first time once I realised I could have many ladyboys and I would not have to engage in monogamy so how long would it take for a ladyboy from Thailand once here in the West to realise that the demand for her stock had risen exponentially and for her to adjust her behaviour accordingly? Not long I think. The really disturbing thought is that all it takes are the right environmental factors to be present for you to lose your kind, loving, supportive and appreciative ladyboy. The same would certainly hold true for Thai women. Scary.

I ran the behaviour of the ladyboys here in the West by an ex-pat friend in Thailand who owns a ladyboy bar and he remarked that the ladyboys in the West have men all over them, putting them on a pedestal and they start to believe the bullshit and they think they are something they are not and with that comes an attitude. His view is that us western men are far better off staying in Thailand with a down to earth ladyboy who just appreciates it if someone loves and cares for her and I agree with him 100%. He believes I am spot on in my observations of their behaviour here in Australia. I told him that I think he made the right decision in moving to Thailand and that no matter how much I look at the issue I believe it's the only way. The western world has too many desperate western men competing for the affection of the ladyboys who are here and the ladyboys have adjusted their behaviour accordingly. Behaviour is communication.

So my advice to you gentlemen is not to bring a ladyboy back to the West. You have got to go to Thailand. Learn the language. Live in Thailand. Integrate into the environment and culture. If you want the best of the ladyboys without the negative influence of the western world spoiling them you're the one who has to make the big move. Your fellow mans thirst for sex and affection creates a marketplace here in the West in which the supply and demand ratio greatly favours the ladyboys which is the exact opposite of the situation on the ground in Thailand. Ladyboys in Australia are rare and exotic and the laws of economics apply– the low supply of ladyboys in the West and the high demand for them means the prices they can command are high. Time is money. Why waste money in a relationship with you when they can be getting paid $400 an hour by the hordes of horny western men who are willing to pay that price? We must remember that the greatest enemy of ladyboys (and women) is time as time erodes both youth and beauty – the greatest temporary assets a ladyboy has. Once these assets have been depleted – the gig is up.

Environmental factors keep checks on our behaviour. In an environment in which we are forced to behave in a certain way in order to survive due say to economic factors – we will behave in the manner which enables us to achieve our self-interest. In Thailand – a developing country where money is difficult to earn, the ladyboys behaviour is very forward towards western men. They will approach us, chat us up and pursue us even outside the nightlife districts. We are exotic and rare – a high status symbol and most importantly we have money and they are just another ladyboy amongst many others struggling for survival. In Australia – an economically and technologically highly developed country, there is no incentive for the ladyboys (who are rare and exotic here) to behave in such a manner except for in the sex or escort industry.

In the words of my illustrious computer science professor – behaviour is communication. You cannot not communicate. The question comes down to what behaviour and communication do you want from your ladyboy? Would you like your ladyboy to be kind, appreciative, supportive and loving towards you – the western man whom she believes is exceptionally rare given she has not ever experienced an environment in which there are many western men like you who are taller, richer, more handsome, younger and willing to spend much more money on her than you could possibly ever afford? Or – do you want a westernised version of the same ladyboy with a superior attitude, an inflated ego and a sense of entitlement?

Westernised ladyboys think differently, move differently, behave differently and will treat you differently to the ladyboys who have never been out of Thailand. Their minds and hearts have been exposed to the western world and everything our world entails. Just as I started finding myself adopting the values of the Thais and was amazed even at myself when I caught myself lying to people to save face or being duplicitous and deceitful even though these values were previously alien to me – so too will ladyboys who are bought here to the West start adopting western values and what western values do you and they witness being exhibited by our fellow western men? Pedestalising women, deferential treatment to women, nice guy behaviour, spending money on women, being a simp, so on and so on.

Visit the website and check out the ladyboys who are advertising their adult entertainment services and the prices of these services in the West. Why would a westernised ladyboy waste time and money with you and use up her youth and beauty without commensurate compensation when she can earn $400 an hour with other men? Behaviour is communication – why waste time socialising with men at a transsexual beauty pageant when she already has numerous other options lined up tonight?

I know what version of the ladyboy I want – the one who hasn't experienced and been spoilt by the Western world. The one who is glad for me to be there with her and is appreciative and supportive of me. The one who treats me like a rare and exotic king.

Until next time Gentlemen – all the best and thank you for not discussing the western world with your ladyboy!

The Pretender Men Are The Real Romantics

Men Are The Real Romantics

Written by: The Pretender

February 9th, 2016

8 min read

Original published URL:



Firstly – I would like to wish all of you a Very Happy New Year. I hope that 2016 brings you great joy and happiness.

In this submission I would like to talk about how men are the real lovers and romantics. I bring this topic up because over the last 11 days I have been here in Pattaya, Thailand engaging again with ladyboys and having some absolutely fantastic experiences. Not just sex – but mind expanding and heart warming experiences which have only deepened my attraction towards ladyboys and caused another nail in the coffin for any future experiences with genetic women both here in Thailand and back home in Australia.

As a younger man I was blind to my own gender, my true nature as a man and the incredible acts of kindness, self sacrifice and dedication that we men direct towards women. I was focused only on finding a woman and gaining closeness and intimacy with a woman. I kept however having bad experiences with women that left me feeling empty and dissatisfied as it was always all about them and what I could do for them. It was not until I came here to Thailand in 2012 and experienced going with ladyboys for the first time that my mind started to think and reflect and my heart started to feel more towards men and what men are capable of. When going out with a ladyboy your heart and mind is connected with a person who is a member of the third gender and has the best and sometimes worst qualities that each gender is known for. Ladyboys were born male and they have male qualities in their hearts like loyalty, self-sacrifice and honour – qualities I have rarely if ever seen nor experienced in women. Transsexuals brains have been scientifically proven to be different from men's and we really are dealing with a third gender.

For me – the lesson from ladyboys is that men are the real lovers – not women. It is men who are the true romantics – not women. It becomes so obvious when you are on the receiving end of acts of kindness, self sacrifice and love which you have never before experienced from a genetic woman. I received gifts from ladyboys I had just met. I felt affection, intimacy and romance from them right from the beginning without being qualified for how much money and resources I could provide over the long term. I felt respected for my personhood as a man and interest in who I am as a person and not just in what I do for a living. This I have never really felt from a genetic woman.

Let me tell you a little about the last 11 days. In total I have had sex 12 times with 5 different ladyboys. Four of these ladyboys work in bars and 1 is a middle class ladyboy who works in a normal office job away from the naughty nightlife. Whilst the sex has been fantastic – and in the case of one particular ladyboy has been simply incredible – sex specifically is not what I would like to discuss in this submission. I am more interested in discussing everything else apart from the sex act.

To begin – I will talk about my experience with a 33 year old ladyboy I have just met on this trip for the first time. This individual I met at a new ladyboy bar just off Soi Buakhaow. I sat in this wonderful new bar and bought her a drink and we started having a chat. At first I was a little bored but as she talked a little more I really started to warm up to her. I explained that I had already been with a ladyboy just an hour or so before and that I was only there for a drink but she started getting touchy feely and I could tell she was attracted and very interested in being with me. She overcame my initial resistance – perhaps this excited her knowing I was hard to get. This I too found very exciting so we went upstairs and had a short time encounter. It was one of the best encounters I have ever had first time! Afterwards we went back down to the bar and continued drinking and talking and I gained a glimpse into who this person was and what I saw really interested me. There was something she said at the end of our time together as she gave me a hug – a warm and heart felt hug. She said “don’t forget me”. Now – I have heard this before from ladyboys but this time it felt different. It felt more from the heart and not just something she was saying. I believe this was because there were future possibilities with us to really get to know and understand each other well because she travels to my country of Australia regularly as part of a ladyboy cabaret show. I had 2 more experiences with this ladyboy including dinner on New Years Eve, drinks and another short time encounter back at my condo. I can’t wait to see her again and I would be proud to be seen with her, to act as a tour guide in my home city and to help her in any way I can in Australia. I told her – if she was working in Australia I could not afford her services but I would be happy to catch up with her as a special friend. She is interested in freedom just like myself and has no interest in a boyfriend. I really felt we had developed a connection and that her and I had future possibilities in Australia.

The next experience I would like to discuss is the middle class ladyboy who works in an office job in Bangkok. This person I met on She sent me interest and we started communicating with each other. We have been talking semi-regularly for about a year. She is around my age – 36. The interesting part about this ladyboy is her English language skills are excellent and we can talk about advanced subjects together and she understands what I am talking about. Out of the hundreds and hundreds of messages I have received on – this ladyboy is the most intelligent. We spent 2 days together in Bangkok and she was very accommodating. She took 2 days off work to meet me and to drive me around and spend time with me. We visited Erawan Museum and Wat Pho which were absolutely incredible – I have never seen anything like these 2 places in my life! I was nervous spending time with this ladyboy as she is the first I have developed a closeness with who doesn’t work in the commercial sex industry and we never spoke about sex at all in over a year of talking with one another. We did however have 2 sexual encounters together which were great and brought us closer to one another. The lessons I learned with her are that there are ladyboys who are working outside the naughty nightlife who are interested in developing a connection and a long term closeness with a western man. She fully understood the difficulties that ladyboys and younger western men under age 50 experience including long time away from each other due to the difficulty younger men face staying in Thailand due to VISA restrictions. I could tell that she was really happy for the time that we did spend together – even though it was only 2 days. She felt lucky and privileged to spend time with me and I felt exactly the same way. I opened her mind to western music and we watched John Lennon’s Imagine film clip together – she had never seen or heard the song before. We also watched part of the Crying Game movie together and she will watch the entire movie soon as I explained it was about a western man developing a relationship with a transgendered person. On the last day when she met me at the hotel I was staying at I opened the door and she gave me a big hug – a warm embracing hug. I gave her a friendship band with a peace symbol on it for her wrist and she was overjoyed at this simple gesture.

The bottom line is that you as a western man are high status in the eyes of ladyboys who are a marginalised group of people. Ladyboys are searching for real intimacy, closeness, respect and acceptance. Many of them are lonely people who’s dating and work options are very limited. Most Thai men don’t like ladyboys, 100% heterosexual men wont go with them, gay men don’t like them and western men under the age of 50 are rare in Thailand due to the VISA restrictions so therefore – if you are a western man who is attracted to ladyboys – you can pick and choose amongst them in the same way that a beautiful woman at the peak of her youth and fertility can choose amongst high status, tall and good looking men with resources. The supply and demand ratio is very much to your advantage as a westerner and you can develop friendships and more with these people and experience being treated like a King in a way a genetic woman could never treat you nor understand. It is men who are the true romantics and true lovers. Ladyboys are indeed a third gender and it is not until you are on the receiving end of a ladyboys strength qualities that you realise that it was never women who were the true lovers. It was always men and these people – being a third gender having the outer shell of a beautiful woman with a heart and mind that often has the best qualities of a man and a woman without any of the bad or irritating characteristics of a woman which have turned so many of us off and in search of alternatives that might offer us men a sanctuary and refuge from the manipulation and games women play.

Men are the real lovers and true romantics and ladyboys can offer you some amazing experiences and possibilities.

All the best Gentlemen!


Thailand is a Casino for Western Men

Thailand is a Casino for Western Men

Written by: The Pretender

February 11th, 2016

8 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to talk about Thailand and how it may as well be a casino for western men.

Firstly – what is a casino? I think we all know what a casino is but let's be 100% clear about it:

A casino is a facility which houses and accommodates gambling activities.


The official definition of Thailand is:


1. Formerly Siam. a kingdom in SE Asia: official name of Siam 1939–45 and since 1949. 198,242 sq. mi. (513,445 sq. km).
Capital: Bangkok.

2. Gulf of. Also called Gulf of Siam. an arm of the South China Sea, S of Thailand.

I put it to you that an entire country can also be considered a casino if the structure, rule of law and other systems of control are setup in such a manner as to ensure the odds of success in any worthwhile business endeavour are higher for the indigenousness inhabitants of that country vs. the odds of success for an immigrant alien or foreigner to that country..

So – to the definition of Thailand I would add the following addendum’s which are important for us westerners:

3. Casino for Western Men – A country in which the business laws, regulations, way and manner of doing business has been specifically setup to ensure the Thai people win at the expense of the western man/farang/alien who is seen only as an income source/moron – synonym idiot.
4. Odds of Success – which greatly favour the house/Thais over the western man/farang/alien
5. Pattaya City/City of Love/House of Prostitution – a city in Thailand where western men/farang/aliens travel to in order to engage in commercial sex with Thai prostitutes and where some western men decide to stay and setup businesses against all odds in order to live true to their nature as men and also to escape the oppressive western world.
6. Card Counter – a person who counts cards in a casino in order to calculate the odds on receiving winning cards or combinations from those remaining to be dealt. Often used to describe a western man/farang/alien who decides to stay and setup a business in the Kingdom of Thailand against all odds of success. He needs to count cards to gain any edge he can to stay in Thailand.
7. Police – an organised civil force for maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws. The regulation and control of a community, especially for the maintenance of public order, safety, health, morals etc. An organised and corrupt force which will extract regular payments/bribes in order to look the other way whilst the card counter/western man/farang/alien runs his bar/guest house in Pattaya.
8. Patsy – a person who is easily swindled, deceived, coerced, persuaded, etc – a sucker – see also Western man/farang/alien in Thailand. Name applies to farang regardless of said mans intelligence, work ethic or other positive attributes due to the way the Thai society and laws are setup to favour the Thais at the expense of the westerner – synonym: resource provider.
9. ATM – an electronic banking machine that dispenses cash and performs other services when a customer inserts a plastic card and pushes the proper coded buttons. Human form especially exists in Thailand – mostly middle aged and overweight (not that there is anything wrong with that of course) – see homo farangtus/western man/alien.

Now – before you go gambling at the casino it is best to understand which games at the casino have the best and the worst odds of winning.

Short term liaisons with Thai people: Excellent odds – highest probability of success. Farang receives sex and a great time and Thai person receives payment. In the best interests of both the Thais and the western men. Can also include longer term sexual liaisons of a paid basis with Thai people.

Long term relationships with Thai people: Poor odds – highly likely to fail for a lot of reasons including cultural differences, upbringing, societal differences, etc. Stickman wrote an excellent article about this which I highly recommend you read.

Starting/Running/Opening a Bar in Pattaya: Poor odds of long term success for a whole host of reasons far too numerous to go into detail in this submission about. There is an article about this which I also recommend you read.

Divorce rate Western Men / Thai Women: High

Breakup rate Western Men / Thai Ladyboys: Very High

Now think about this – the odds of success are much lower in Thailand than they are in the West due to the business laws, structure of the society, different culture etc– so why would any rational western man attempt to succeed in Thailand? A rational person should only engage in any activity where the odds of success are high and firmly in his favour. Yet millions of western men travel to places like Pattaya every year to try out their luck with bar girls. Some of these men stay and set up businesses. I have met a number of these men and let me tell you – they are not stupid people. Many are smart, rational and some are quite well educated men. What they all have in common is they are sick and tired of living in the West with all it's rules and political correctness.

What does it say about the culture, climate and society in the western world and what men really want that they are willing to go up against the odds and try for business and personal success in Thailand? To me it says a lot. It ways the western world is not setup to cater to or pander to western men – it's setup for western women at the expense of western men. It says the western world is a politically correct wasteland which men can't say nor publish what they really think without fear where men live in perpetual fear of saying the wrong thing or offending the wrong person – e.g. – the wrong woman or group of women.

I just got back from Pattaya and whilst I was there in the condo right next door to me there was a couple that was constantly arguing. The Thai woman was screaming and yelling whilst a baby could be heard crying. I stay at an upscale and expensive condo development. A farang could be heard in the condo arguing with the Thai woman. Imagine coming to Thailand, buying an expensive condo, moving a Thai woman and her kid in or having a kid with her and dealing with this shit every day. One day I was coming out of my condo and I spotted the woman. She was a working class Thai woman – a street vendor and I watched as she hopped on her motorcycle which had been modified to carry goods for sale – she was one of those motorcycle street sellers. What western man in his right mind would shack up with a woman like that and her kid in an upscale development? The opportunity cost of getting into a relationship is huge in a place like Pattaya!

Opportunity cost – the opportunity cost of giving up bachelorhood in Thailand is a very high price to pay. So whatever situation you get yourself in as a farang you should not commit. In my opinion – you have the best situation if you keep your assets in the west and your income flowing from them which enables you to spend money in Thailand. Why bother buying an upscale condo in Thailand or creating or buying a business in Thailand? Both will take up your time, resources, sanity and peace of mind. A business more so than a condo.

A very learned friend of mine says that I am trying to do 'multiple deals with the devil' in order to stay in Thailand. I think he has an excellent point. Most of us western men who love Thailand are constantly trying to come up with all sorts of ideas, schemes, strategies, etc to stay in the casino – to stay in Thailand without losing our shirts whilst winning the sexual variety and freedom game. The jury is still out on how to achieve this with the only realistic strategy to keep your assets in the West and have the income support you in Thailand or simply holiday and spend your money in Thailand one or more times a year. These are the two strategies with the highest probability of success which ensure that you never lose the shirt off your back which many of our western brothers have. The Thailand minefield is strewn with the wreckage of many a western man who thought he could beat the odds. My ears are wide open to any one of you who has alternative ideas on how to stay in Thailand and live a life of freedom long term without losing your wealth or your sanity and without shacking up with a Thai – a bar girl or otherwise and/or starting a 51% owned Thai business which you are not in control of all the while achieving it legally and without the constant need to pay bribes to the Thai constabulary. I don't think it's possible to stay in Thailand long term with peace of mind without a western income and western assets and some kind of local face to face work (remember that most local jobs are restricted and not available to farangs in Thailand). My. Ears. Are. Wide. Open! Internet businesses are OUT and the reason why is because you need face to face social contact in work and not live your whole work life behind a computer. I lasted 6 weeks running my internet startup from Thailand. The lack of face to face contact with other westerners drove me mad and I came home early after self analysing my behaviour which became increasingly bizarre the longer I was socially isolated holed up in a luxury condo in Thailand. In the end I was pacing around the condo talking to myself – the beginnings of madness. Setting up a local business in Thailand however is no easy feat. What else to do however to use your time productively and feel a sense of achievement. You can't just sit around all day drinking and having sex although I note many men seem to be doing just that!

Anyway – that's all I have for this submission. Until next time Gentlemen – all the best!


Buying Property in Thailand

Buying Property in Thailand

Written by: The Pretender

March 17th, 2016

8 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to discuss buying and owning property in Thailand and why I believe that it's not a good idea for the vast majority of us foreigners but may be a good idea for some of us under very specific and difficult to achieve individual circumstances.

Over the long term to do well in property investing it's all about capital growth. Generally speaking – over the long term land appreciates in value (at least in a nominal sense) and buildings depreciate in value. So as an investor you want to own a property in a great location which has a high land to building value ratio. In other words – you want to own a property in which the value is almost entirely made up of the value of the land that the property sits on.

Let's consider a 1.3 million baht / $52,000 AUD property in Pattaya, Thailand. The property is a residential two storey townhouse in central Pattaya just off Suhkumvit Road. It sits on 117 square metres of land. The building that sits on the land is not new. The total value of this property is made up almost entirely of the value of the land that it sits on. The building portion of the property has depreciated over time and makes up a small percentage of the total value of the property. If I had to estimate I would say that this property is 90% land value and 10% building value.


Let's now consider another property – a 2 bedroom condo in Pattaya in a centrally located complex called City Garden. I know this property well because I have stayed in it before. It's perfectly located and I very much enjoyed my 2 week stay in it at Christmas and New Years 2015. It's currently for sale with an asking price of 5.7 million baht / $228,000 AUD. There are literally hundreds of condos (if not more) in the City Garden complex. If you added up the total value of all of these condos and calculated the corresponding value of the land that they sit on you would discover that the land value of any one particular condo makes up a very small percentage of it's value. If I had to guess I would estimate that the land value of this condo would be no more than 5% of its total value. So $11,400 is the land value and $216,600 is the value of the condo itself. Remember that land appreciates and buildings depreciate so if you owned this condo it will almost certainly be a very poorly performing investment over time. If you lived in it you would have a very comfortable lifestyle however. The complex has great facilities and it was a real pleasure staying there. The condo is located on the ground floor as well so if you have plans to one day join the Pattaya Flying Club you should probably look for a condo located on a higher floor!

Anyway – the kind of property you want to own in Thailand is the first – the one made up of 90% land value. The big problem however is this: as a foreigner you cannot own land in Thailand. As much as we may not like this fact – that is the bottom line. There are ways around it but in reality if you want to own land in Thailand you will need to become a Thai citizen. This is a long, difficult to achieve process which the vast majority of foreigners will not do and wouldn't achieve even if they tried because of the difficulty in learning the language and going through the language test in the citizenship process. The difficult process of becoming a Thai citizen interests me because most people don't want to work hard and many are lazy and this spells opportunity for those of us who are not lazy and are always working hard. In economics – the term “barriers to entry” describes a situation where there are obstacles that make it difficult to enter a given market. To buy a freehold property in Thailand which is made up of 90% land value a foreigner must become a Thai citizen. That's a barrier to entry and a difficult one. Given that the vast majority of foreigners wont do this that means freehold property sales are limited to Thai citizens – the vast majority of whom earn much less than foreigners. This means low residential property prices as Thailand doesn't (for the most part) have foreigners driving up the prices and making it difficult for Thai citizens to afford property in their own country. In Pattaya however some foreigners who want a house on land simply buy the property in their bar girls name – a big mistake in my opinion given the nature of women / Briffault's Law, the condensed wisdom available about women from our brothers on the internet, on Stickman's website etc.

Now – let's say that you as a foreigner spend the time to learn the Thai language and become proficient (1100 hours and 2 years effort), you jump through all the associated hoops of staying in the country for 5 years etc and you manage to achieve Thai citizenship and are looking for a house on land in Thailand to buy. My advice is to buy a house in the best location you can where the price is made up almost entirely of the land value of the property and the total value of the property is within the price range that is affordable to a large percentage of the Thai buying market. This means you should buy a property at the low end of the market like the 1.35 million baht townhouse I used in my first example. Owning a property like this means you are invested in an asset made up almost entirely of land value and if you ever need to sell the property you are not reliant on selling it into the foreign market. A local Thai family would be your target buyer.

Those of you who have spent time in tourist cities like Pattaya would have noticed the huge number of condos for sale targeting the foreign market. Stay away from them – they are a very bad deal. Generally speaking – the more flashy the sales, marketing and advertising of a product or service the poorer quality that product or service is in reality. <Terrible generalisation and not at all trueStick> Condos that are marketed towards foreigners are in large supply and relatively low demand. <At this point in time that is true but two years ago the market was going gangbustersStick> They are expensive and unaffordable to the vast majority of Thai people. They age badly and will make for a very poor long term investment because the land value of them is so low. If you buy one of these types of condos you better be happy with owning it forever and the reality factor says that you almost certainly wont be happy with it forever and will want or need to sell it.

My advice to you as a foreigner in Thailand generally speaking is to rent a condo in a good lifestyle area and keep your money invested in your pension plan, index funds or property back in your home country. I personally will be keeping the vast majority of my assets back in Farangland but I am planning on one day becoming a Thai citizen and owning a townhouse on land in Thailand. It would almost certainly be the equivalent of my first example of a 1.35 million baht property. I plan on investing no more than 5% of my total net worth in any such property in Thailand and I will definitely as I say be keeping the vast majority of my assets in Farangland. The way I will achieve Thai citizenship is I will build up my assets in Farangland by working hard from my current age of 36 and by the age of 55 I should have a net worth position of 15 – 20 times my annual yearly wage invested in my pension plan and other assets like index funds and Australian property. When I turn 55 I will hop on a plane and head to Thailand permanently, rent a condo for 5 years and then when I'm 60 I will become a Thai citizen and then I will buy a house on land in Thailand. I'm already proficient in the Thai language so the major obstacle for me for Thai citizenship is being in the country for 5 years. The way I see it – good things come to those who wait and I am vastly better off financially continuing to do what I'm currently doing – earning money in the western world and spending some of it on holiday in Thailand. A permanent move at a relatively young age would be a mistake.

Until next time Gentlemen – all the best!

The Pretender


Stick's thoughts:

Buying a property in Thailand may make sense if you plan to stay in Thailand for a very long time and have no plans to ever sell the property. That is relevant as Thais generally don't like to buy second-hand properties and the used property market is generally not buoyant. Many people wishing to sell a property in Thailand have it listed for years before they get so much as an enquiry, and many eventually sell it for MUCH less than they had initially hoped for. Renting makes sense.

Take On Me is the Love Game in Thailand

Take On Me is the Love Game in Thailand

Written by: The Pretender

March 22nd, 2016

6 min read

Original published URL:


In 1984 the Norwegian synthpop band A-ha released their hit song Take On Me. In 1985 the award winning music video to the song was released which featured pencil-sketch animation combined with live-action – a technique called rotoscoping. The video stars lead singer Morten Harket and actress Bunty Bailey. The videos main theme is a romantic fantasy narrative. It begins with a montage of pencil drawings in a comic-book style representing motorcycle sidecar racing, in which the hero is pursued by two opponents. It then cuts to a scene in a cafe, in which Bunty (Harket's girlfriend at the time) is seen drinking coffee and reading a comic book in a coffee shop. As the girl reads, the waitress brings her the bill. The comic's hero, after winning the race, seemingly winks at the girl from the page. His pencil-drawn hand reaches out of the comic book, inviting the girl into it. Once inside, she too appears in the pencil-drawn form, as he sings to her and introduces her to his black-and-white world which features a sort of looking-glass portal where people and objects look real on one side and pencil-drawn on the other.

Meanwhile, back in the restaurant, the waitress returns to find that the girl is not there. Believing that the girl has left without paying the bill, she angrily crumples and throws the girl's comic book into a bin. This makes Harket's two opposing racers reappear, armed with a large pipe wrench and apparently aggressive. The racers smash the looking glass with the pipe wrench, evidently trapping the girl in the comic book. Harket punches one of the thugs and retreats with the girl into a maze of paper. Arriving at a dead end, he tears a hole in the paper wall so that the girl can escape as the menacing opposing racers close in on him. The girl, now back in the real world and found lying beside the bin to the surprise of restaurant guests and staff, grabs the comic from the bin and runs home, where she attempts to smooth out the creases to learn what happens next.

The next panel shows Harket lying seemingly lifeless, and the girl begins to cry. But he wakes up and tries to break out of his comic-book frames. At the same time, his image appears in the girl's hallway, seemingly torn between real and comic form, hurling himself repeatedly left-and-right against the walls as he attempts to shatter his two-dimensional barrier. He escapes from the comic book by becoming human and stands up. Smiling, the girl runs towards him and he embraces her.

Our hero Morten and his lover Bunty are two people living in two very different worlds who are deeply attracted to one another and want to be together. This music video strikes a chord with all of us who have ever fallen in love – especially those of us who have fallen in love in a situation or under circumstances in which it is very difficult or impossible to be together.

The music video by A-ha is analogous to us western men and the love game we play with the beautiful women or ladyboys of Thailand. The woman sitting in the cafe is our Thai lover watching on with the hope that we will some day come into her colourful world. She glimpses our boring, controlled but resource rich black and white world through the screen of her computer or phone – we take her hand and show her our world as best we can virtually via the internet. She is reluctant at first but ever hopeful of a new and better life with us.

The lover we pine for is from a different country, with a completely different culture, values, customs, background and experiences to ours. We want desperately to be together. We want to understand each other. The differences between our two worlds are immense. Instead of turning the pages of written love letters and flicking through photos of us our Thai lover clicks through our Facebook pages with interest liking every new post we make just as we do on hers. We peer at each other through the internet looking-glasses of Facebook, Skype and Line. Two hearts, two minds living in two seperate and very different worlds. The rotoscoped world is our western world. It's grey. It's predictable. It's boring. It provides but a two dimensional, black and white, sketched outline of us men who are constantly performing, working hard, gathering money and resources in order to eventually escape from it's carefully sketched and scripted conformity – just like our hero Morten so we can be with our Thai lovers in the colourful world of Thailand where we can write our own scripts and sketch out fully three dimensional lives in which we can truly be ourselves.

The race is our work. Our pursuers – our competitors, are our fellow western men. Our enemies in the western world are after us and forever putting us down, placing barriers in our way to stop us from being with our Thai lovers, trying with all their might and brainwashing to keep us from leaving the west so they don't lose us, their ultimate resource providers, otherwise known as good and loyal, hard working employees. We devise all sorts of plans, schemes, strategies and ideas so we can escape our comic book western world in which our lives have been carefully sketched out for us mostly by others – our so called superiors. Lives in which we are managed by them to the nth degree. We yearn for freedom – to be with our Thai lovers. To love each other, to be together, to make our two worlds meet, to make sense of each others worlds, to break free from our controlled two dimensional black and white world and live and be ourselves in the full colour multidimensional world – in Amazing Thailand where we are treated with appreciation, respect, and dignity by our Thai lovers.

The people in the cafe look on as Bunty takes the hand of our hero Morten – like our Thai lover who does something she is not supposed to ever do – take the hand of a farang and disappear into his western world. Her Thai family and friends look on with judgement as our lover tries desperately to be with us and avoid the shame and judgement from Thai society of being with a farang. Our Thai lover dreams about us whilst we are away – crying, waiting, hoping that we'll come back to them. Our only escape from our rotor-scoped western world is through a hidden wall in the shape of a business we plan to set up in Thailand which will enable us to stay with our Thai lover permanently. We throw ourselves against the wall trying to break free from the rotorscoped western world. Some of us make it through and some of us don’t. Talking away. I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, OK?

Take On Me – Take Me On.

The Pretender

a-ha - Take On Me (Official Video):

The Gold Rush – Selling Picks and Shovels in Thailand

The Gold Rush – Selling Picks and Shovels in Thailand

Written by: The Pretender

March 26th, 2016

7 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I would like to talk about the phenomenon known as the gold rush and the parallels it has with us western men seeking intimacy in Thailand.

Throughout history there have been a number of examples of gold rushes in different countries. One of the biggest occurred in California in 1848. On May 12th 1848, an ambitious merchant named Sam Brannan shocked the tiny port town of San Fransico, California with an electrifying announcement “Gold! Gold! Gold from the American River!

Rumors had been circulating for months about a group of laborers who had been building a sawmill in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada, some 100 miles east, when one of them spied the gleam of gold in the racing water. Few in San Francisco had believed the story. Now Brannan showed them proof.

Once it became clear that the rumors of gold were for real, nearly everybody in California thought, "Can I drop what I'm doing and make a fortune mining gold?" A whole lot of people decided, yeah, they could. And off they went.

Within a matter of days, most of San Francisco's 800 residents rushed off to the gold fields.

"The whole country resounds to the sordid cry of gold! Gold! Gold!" one newspaper reported, "while the field is left half-planted, the house half-built and everything neglected but the manufacture of shovels and pick axes." Sam Brannan had started the frenzy, but he had no interest in digging for gold himself. An elder in the Mormon church, he'd come to California in search of a place for the Saints to call home, and been so impressed by the abundance of the region that he'd stayed — even though most Mormons opted to settle farther east, near the Great Salt Lake. By chance, Brannan had opened a general store in Sacramento, not far from where the first nuggets were later discovered — and now, he saw an easy path to riches.

Sam Brannan was a commercial genius. And he realized that his store was going to be a goldmine, literally speaking, because he could sell everything that was needed to the miners right at the site where the gold was being dug.

In the three months following his announcement, Brannan outfitted so many would-be miners that receipts at his store totalled some 36,000 dollars (over $1 million in todays money). Meanwhile, he continued to spread the word. Under the banner of the newspaper he published, the California Star, he put together an extra edition extolling the "mineral riches of California," packed two thousand copies onto the only form of cross-country transportation then available — a team of mules — and sent it east to St. Louis.

It would take a good four months before the so-called "mule-train express" reached its destination. In the interim, Brannan planned to stock his store with every pick, pan and shovel he could lay his hands on. It was only a hunch — but he was willing to bet that 1848 was going to be a very good year.

Gold had been discovered many, many times, through the centuries — by the Hittites, by the Egyptians, by the Spanish. And always in the past the gold belonged to the czar, to the king, to the emperor, to the person who had power, who had the capacity to say, "No, you keep out. This is my gold." In California, there were no forces here to protect the ownership of the gold. It belonged to those who could take it and carry it back home.

People knew they could dig up the gold in California, put it in their pocket, no taxes, no inhibitions, no controls, no one here to keep the onslaught of tens of thousands of miners from rushing in and sweeping up the gold and taking it away.

What happens during a gold rush is a great many men drop everything and rush to a destination sometimes very far from home in which to seek their fortune by becoming miners. Most of the miners fail to find gold. Some find it but most don't. Most miners end up poorer but wiser for the experience. The great lesson of gold rushes throughout history is to be the people who are selling the picks and shovels. The people who are mining the miners. These are the people who did well or got really rich during the gold rushes of the past. In the book Think and Grow Rich there is a quote that more gold has been mined from the brains of men than has ever been taken from the earth. How very true!

Thailand is our gold rush, gentlemen. We are the miners but instead of mining for gold we are mining for youth, beauty, intimacy and love – a new and better love life in the arms of an exotic Thai woman or ladyboy. We are miners because of the situation at home. Divorce, separation, irritation at the behaviour, expectations and entitlement of western women, the rise of institutionalised feminism – these are the things that have forced our hands. Forced us to buy our picks and shovels, leave our homeland and try our luck at mining the hearts of the Thais in the Kingdom of Thailand. Instead of newspaper articles about gold in California we read submissions on Stickman's website proclaiming the wonders of Thai women. We keep thinking that maybe we too should try our luck at mining and maybe we too can strike it rich by capturing the heart of a beautiful, exotic Thai person who will treat us with the dignity, respect, kindness and consideration we all desire. We western men – we miners seek to capture the elements from our beautiful young Thai persons heart which have been completely mined out from western women in our homelands under institutionalised feminism. That's why we dig for gold in the intimacy gold fields of Pattaya.

Who are the people selling us miners the picks and shovels we all need whilst in Thailand? Why – it is the bar owners and the young, beautiful Thai women and ladyboys who work in the bars. It's the motorcycle taxi riders who take us to the bar, the restaurants that sell us our meals, the supermarkets where we shop for groceries, the 7/11 where we buy our supplies of bottled water. It's the hotels and condos that rent us our rooms. It's the love hotels and short time room operators and the pharmacies that sell us our condoms and lube. It's the airlines that sell us our plane tickets and the taxi drivers which take us to and from our resort destination of Pattaya. The picks and shovels we need are mostly not physical and the gold we seek in the hearts of the Thais is often by no means permanent. Our gold is intangible but it's a great symbol of what we men will do for sex, intimacy and love.

In traditional relationships in the western world it is western women who are mining us western men for real gold. For our property, money, assets and labour. All we ever really wanted was love. To think that us men are such romantics that we would give up everything for the love of a woman. There is a lot to be said about the kind and loving nature of men given the lengths we all go to for women. During the gold rushes throughout history the vast majority of the miners were men. Men in search of gold in order to build a better life for themselves and their families. Men willing to put themselves through incredible hardships in order for their wives and families to prosper.

Never forget your male nature and your role as a western man in Thailand, gentlemen. You're a miner just like I am. The gold you seek is in the hearts of the Thai people. The bar owners are selling us the picks and shovels we need to mine the hearts of the Thai women and ladyboys. They sell us alcohol. They sell us bar fines. They sell us fun and good times. The women and ladyboys themselves are also selling us picks and shovels. They sell us their time, their intimacy and their personal services which are the invisible, intangible picks and shovels – and with those picks and shovels we will continue to mine their hearts for intimacy, sex, fun and companionship. Some of us might even find love if we're lucky. After all – some miners during the gold rush really did get rich! After all is said and done however the pick and shovel sellers will certainly do well out of us just as they always do during a gold rush.

In July I will return to the gold fields of Pattaya, Thailand and continue mining for the affection, intimacy, sex and fun times in the hearts of the women and ladyboys that work in the bars of Soi 6 and Soi Buakhaow. I hope to see you there with your picks and shovels.

All the best Gentlemen!

The Pretender

There’s Nobody More Dangerous than a Free Man

There’s Nobody More Dangerous than a Free Man

Written by: The Pretender

June 7th, 2016

11 min read

Original published URL:



I'm preparing for a new month long trip to Thailand. I will be staying in Pattaya and Bangkok. I leave Australia on June 28th. I'm really looking forward to this trip as I will be meeting up with a few of you as well as a few well-known western expats in Thailand. I expect to also have time available to make a few Pretender submissions about my observations and experiences in the land of smiles.

Anyway – I wanted to share a few thoughts with you all before I take off from the western world as there have been some things happening in my life recently and the lives of friends and fans of mine who have got in contact with me after reading my submissions here on Stickman's site. I have seen similarities in our lives which I thought I would fill you in on.

I have been a free man now since September 2012. The four year mark is coming up fast! The past four years have been the very best of my life by far but they have not been without problems, that's for damn sure. The biggest problems I have had have been from my social group. The people around me both in the workplace and from my old friends who knew me as the man I was and not the man I am today. There has been some conflict, arguments, stress and problems in my life and most of these issues have come from my workmates, managers above me or from old friends who are living the life of a traditionalist – in debt to the bank for a house, spending all their money on a mortgage, on a woman, on their kids. The men with no free time, no free energy, no peace of mind. The worst treatment I receive is from the hands of the married men in the office who judging by the look in their eyes – have miserable, bitchy, moody, nagging wives. The men who fell hook, line and sinker to the lies they were told from their parents and society at large that happiness was living a life of servitude to others instead of them defining what happiness meant and then living that life for themselves. I represent the living embodiment of freedom and the loss of their freedom.

There are only two honest married men at work who tell the truth to me about their lives of misery. They are the only two who I really respect as they have the guts to tell it like it is and to warn me not to do what they have done – they have told me in no uncertain words that they would love to trade places with me. I have essentially become a hated man to the traditionalists. My actions, the way I talk about freedom and living a life on my own terms, my refusal to comply with those around me – this causes me problems. There is nothing more threatening or dangerous than a truly free, independent man.

What are the underlying reasons why I am so hated?

Well – I'm an unshackled male. I am unburdened with neither a wife nor children to provide for. I'm not under control in my personal life. I don't give women any of my resources – neither time nor money. I'm not giving any woman emotional or financial security. People who cannot control you will hate you. The people in my workplace who especially hate me the most are the ones who want my compliance and are seeking to gain power over me yet know they will never have it. I am much more widely read than they are and I elicit feelings of fear, envy, insecurity and irritation in them due to who I am and what I represent. I'm a threat for sure.

What has essentially happened over the past 4 years is my values have changed whilst the values of those around me have stayed the same and in most cases have strengthened. Spending significant time in Thailand surrounded by prostitutes, bar owners, western expats and others who are interested in living their lives on their own terms has changed me. My heart and my mind has changed and now I'm stuck between two very different worlds and trying to live my life and adjust to the on the ground reality of both Thai and Australian society. This is the most difficult part of my trips – especially the return to Australia which is the biggest come down ever and is like coming off drugs without any support. Going from high status to servant is not an easy transition. It's really hard and nobody has any sympathy for you. Why would they? After all – how dare you do the things you're doing overseas. Your place is here as a worker under control. A slave with a white collar.

But just like in the movie Fight Club – I'm finding out more and more that I'm not alone.

There are more of you who just like me have been making these independent trips to Thailand and you too are having similar problems in your personal and professional lives. You report the same effects. You work in different industries to me, you do different things. You're surrounded by different people and yet the effects are the same. You experience hostility from those around you because you're free and they're not. In many cases the people in your life are trying to get you to conform, do what they are doing and live your life in the same manner as they are. Your mindset however has changed due to your Thailand trips. You too have become disconnected from your society, its values, customs and belief system. There is nothing the people around you want more than your compliance. But you're an outsider now. Your heart and mind has been touched too deeply by the Thais. You know that you don't have to live the life that was prescribed to you by your parents, society and others who had a hand in raising you. You can go off and do your own thing. These trips have awakened something inside of you and you have become more in touch with your masculinity. This of course is a threat to those around you in the feminist infested western society. Look – a free man! He must be destroyed lest he give other men dangerous ideas of living a life on their own terms and not doing what we want them to do for our benefit.

MGTOW men and those of you who are highly independent and make these independent trips to Thailand have to be very cautious and on guard as most of society is out to attack us. Men are desperate for sex so that makes many men our enemies as they will do almost anything to obtain approval and get sex from women. We all know what that entails, how much it really costs and what we have to do to obtain it in the western world. Women want emotional and financial security so you can't trust them and they won't like what you have to say as the truth doesn't bring them any security and is a threat to their agendas to manipulate men into a long term sex for resources contract – i.e. – commitment and monogamy. Something they can see only too well that you understand and want to avoid at all costs.

Here's a short story for you – I had a call recently from a very good friend who told me that his girlfriend doesn't like him hanging out with me. She essentially didn't like me due to what I had to say. Anyway – he told her he will associate with whoever he likes and if she doesn't like it then that's too bad – for her. He is a man of principles which is rare in this world. I came to realise after this happened that it's not the female or the ladyboy relationships that is at the heart of our association as men going our own way in Thailand or our association with each other via these Stickman submissions – it's freedom, non conformity to western societies (mostly women's) expectations of us and the need to be ourselves and be true to our authentic selves. These are the things that we western men who love Thailand all have in common. The common threads that weave us together. Women want to control us and realise they can't do that so we are a threat to them and the female collective therefore we must be silenced lest other men see what we are doing and become influenced by us. Leadership is influence and having a media mouthpiece like these Stickman reader submissions is a threat especially when you start hanging out with people you have met via your writings. Behold – free men. Looks like a grouping of them. A men's club! Nothing is more threatening to the western females need to control, manipulate, subordinate and extract resources from.

Each of you who contact me through Stickman's website the story is always the same – you want freedom and to be yourselves and you can't get that in the Western relationships you are in or have experienced. Some stupid women think we hate them but that's not true – our problem is we are hyper aware of male and female nature and we talk about it openly. Some of you are younger than me so you don't yet have the ability to fully outwardly articulate exactly what you are feeling based on how you are being treated in western society. This ability I assure you will come to you with time. Some of you like myself have been with ladyboys and you see even more clearly the issues and that can be very confronting and as my boss at work said to me recently about my topics of interest: 'you're making people reevaluate their lives'. Therein lies the problem, gentlemen. We are the glitches in the Matrix so to speak. We are the anomalies. Like Nero in the Matrix movies.

If you think about it – I have experienced the ultimate Poindexter's revenge. The nerd who was always an outsider has come into his own and I have been able to use this disconnection from the western collective to my ultimate advantage. By not being defined by those around, by not conforming to other peoples expectations of me I have been able to go my own way and define for myself the life I wanted to live and the man I wanted to become. I feel lucky to have seen the Matrix for what it is, to have met the Architect and found the exit door. I'm not the only anomaly. There are other Myers Briggs INTJ westerners in Thailand. Whilst we are rare – representing just 1% of the population – we are especially rare in Thailand and rarity has value. I have seen opportunities in Thailand which I could engage in which could bring me a lot of influence but which could also ultimately lead to my demise and possibly my incarceration. Big risks, big rewards personally but maybe not so much financially.

I would like to leave you with a personal anecdote. My ex fiancé loved the Beyonce song 'Single Ladies – Put a Ring on it'. It became a sort of running joke between us. She was constantly on to me about getting engaged and putting a ring on her finger but I was always hesitant. This week something fascinating happened – a colourful friend of mine from Pattaya who I spent the best New Year's Eve of my life with was on Australian television as a lead singer and dancer (I have provided the link to her performance at the end of this submission). And guess what song she was singing and dancing to? There is something very satisfying about this. My colourful, beautiful friend never asked me to put a ring on her finger. Like myself – she loves her freedom far too much to ever do such a thing!

Who would have thought that breaking up with my ex, going my own way to Thailand, experiencing the most incredible four years of my life would bring me into close contact with people like this! This life I have been living is so far removed from the monogamous, under control and manipulated man that I was there is just no comparison and there is no going back. Newton said, “If I have seen further then it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”. A big thank you to the MGTOW giants who came before me who have made such a large impact on my thinking and have contributed to the man I am today. A big thank you as well to Stickman for this website and for all of you who submit articles here for your knowledge, wisdom and your life experience.

Enjoy the videos in the links below and until next time – all the best Gentlemen!

The Pretender


The Matrix – Architect Scene

Ladyboy Superstars Morning Show Australian TV Performance

Beyonce – Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)

A Letter To My Father – It’s Been 15 Years Since We Lost You

A Letter To My Father – It’s Been 15 Years Since We Lost You

Written by: The Pretender

June 14th, 2016

28 min read

Original published URL:



It's been 15 years now since you passed away. A lot has happened in the world and in my life since you've been gone. You've missed a lot. You know, the day you died was the saddest day of my life. I did my best to revive you of that you can be sure – the firemen told me the CPR I gave you kept you going until they got there but there was nothing they could do to save you. The coroner said your death was caused by atherosclerosis, meaning your arteries were really clogged up. His report said your lifetime of smoking was the reason your arteries were so clogged. Your massive heart attack was the inevitable end result. It's amazing isn't it how little things add up to one large end result? It wasn't the first cigarette that did it but those daily decisions you made as a pack a day smoker from the age of 18 over 55 years which slowly but surely clogged up your arteries and caused your heart attack and death. I guess you can't complain though. You lived to age 73 which many said was a good innings. You went out quickly as well. You didn't know what hit you. I know you always wanted to go like this and not be in some hospital somewhere and be a burden on your family. I know you would have killed yourself if you had found yourself in that situation.

When you had that heart attack time stopped for me and it was like I had entered a dream. The moment I saw you drop to the ground I entered a different level of consciousness. It took two fire-fighters to pull me off you in the end. Blood was pouring down my knees when they stood me up. As you know there was still no floor on the construction site we were both working on and I did your CPR kneeling down on ruble. Cut my knees up really bad. You know I didn't even feel any pain. I can remember so many things from that fateful day. I had never entered such an altered, heightened emotional state before. I will never forget when I stepped out onto the front porch of grandmas house, crying my eyes out and looking up at the large Morton bay fig trees. The trees and the parkland looked dreamlike. The colours were so vivid. I guess that's the brains way of helping a human cope with such a significant emotional trauma – by flooding the body and mind with adrenaline and other hormones. Whilst the day you died was the worst of my life, your funeral was not much better. Both days hammered home to me that you were indeed gone and my life would never be the same again.

You lived long enough however to see me achieve my degree. You died so shortly thereafter. I guess you felt you had achieved your goals and had got me to the stage where I could start my life in the real world. I know seeing me on that stage receiving my bachelors degree in a hard science was the proudest moment of your life. The first person in your family to have ever gone to university. The first to earn a university degree. Your eldest son. Just 21 at the time.

You know mum took your death badly. She became impossible to deal with and this went on for years after you died. I begged her to get counselling but she wouldn't go. Her grief and resulting behaviour caused huge problems in the family which we are only now really recovered from and we still have serious issues. You were the rock – the one who held the family together. Your passing left a leadership vacuum. I was only 22 when you died and even though I am your eldest son – I wasn't in any way ready to take on the responsibilities of family leadership. It hasn't been easy trying to lead when I don't have the authority or the resources to make decisions and see them carried through. Many in the family don't seem to want my leadership despite how much they need it and despite me being the eldest and most highly educated of your sons.

As a hoarder you left us with a large estate. That oceanfront land you owned – selling it was the hardest thing I ever lead mum to do knowing it was your dream to retire there but it had to be done as she needed to reinvest in more appropriate assets that would generate an income for her. Speculators bought your land but it didn't work out well for them and they lost a lot of money on it. They couldn't build up on the sand dune to capture the magnificent views of the ocean. Council knocked that idea back as I knew they would. On the day of the auction even the local aborigines turned up dressed in traditional clothing. It was a carnival like atmosphere with hundreds of people in attendance. People were shocked at the crazy high price mum got for it. Selling off your land was the easy part though. It was everything else that that really took a lot of time and energy to sort through. I had to take the lead on this of course. My leadership duty as your eldest son. It took a long time and effort to sort through everything, sell off what I could and dump the rest. I dumped so much of your stuff dad. I had no choice – there simply wasn't a market for a lot of it. Mum was emotionally attached to every object. I couldn't get anything done due to her interference. Years rolled by. I have only just now finished disposing of your estate – 15 years after your death. It really did take that long before mum could be dealt with on any kind of rational level when it came to your stuff. You left us over a thousand books. I sorted through them carefully, identified what were rare and valuable and what were not. Ended up selling almost the whole lot to a book dealer. The rare and valuable books I sold individually. Got good prices for them. I just recently sold that diving pump of yours from the 1800's you never got around to restoring. It was so heavy I dug the garden up and destroyed a trolley trying to move it. It took three grown men to load it onto a trailer and even then it was a struggle. They don't make em like that anymore.

You know – selling your diving pump was one of my proudest moments. It was one of the most satisfying things I ever did although mum was very upset. She said I gave it away too cheaply. As I argued with her I kept thinking of your words that time you and her had that big argument “you're a greedy, grasping fucking woman!” She wasn't easy to deal with. The buyer of the pump is an expert on antique diving equipment. He restored it himself and he did a magnificent job. It's now bringing joy into the lives of many people on the regular diving rally's he and his team goes on. He sent me a video of your pump in operation at one of the diving rallies in Portsea and I emailed the link to one of your old workmates. He was stunned at the job the buyer did in restoring your pump. The expert in the United States I consulted with to determine a market price for it said I “certainly found the right buyer and got a great end result”. Everyone who has seen your pump in operation said I should be very proud to have sold it to such a talented man. I am proud you know that. As difficult as it was dealing with mums emotional manipulations over this I know I found the right buyer and did the right thing. She claimed she was going to restore it herself. Can you imagine? A 70 year old woman with no experience in such matters. I think she might be losing it. One of your old mates remarked to me a while ago “You know your father was the brains of that outfit”.

I should probably get around now to what I really want to say to you. The reason why I'm writing this letter to you on the 15th anniversary of your death. You see – things haven't worked out like you planned. With me that is. I have to tell you honestly – I am not the man you raised me to be.

It's only really now at age 37 that I understand myself that I can see this fact with enough clarity to make any sense of what has happened to me in my personal life. The choices that I have made that conflicted badly with the choices you wanted me to make. Choices which I did make originally but which caused me so much pain, anger and resentment. You raised me to work hard, to do the right thing, to tell the truth, keep my promises, to strive for success, to be achievement focus. This is me to be sure. You taught me to study hard, go to university, get a good job, do well in my career, get married and raise a family. It's the last part that has caused me such difficulty, problems and pain. Everything else went to plan. You know women. The way they are. This is what I couldn't get past no matter how much I tried. I just couldn't keep it together with any one of them. Sure I could put on a show for a few years but I never really felt fulfilled being with them. My last fiancé was a bitch to be sure. I simply couldn't stand the thought of staying with her for a lifetime. The nagging, bitching, complaining, sarcasm and belittling was just too much for me to take in the end. I kicked her to the curb and never looked back. Although not everything was bad with her. I consider her to be a righteous woman for having that abortion for without her doing that I would be in a very difficult situation these days.

Now here's the thing father and I think you should sit down before I go any further.

Three and a half years ago after I broke up with my ex I went to Thailand for a two week holiday. It was there that I had my first sexual experience with a ladyboy. You're shocked I know. Who would have thought huh? Your son is not the straight man you thought he was. If you were alive today to hear me say these words I know you wouldn't be happy about it.

A few years before you died dad a film was made about a sexually frustrated suburban father by the name of Lester Burnham who has a mid-life crisis after becoming infatuated with his daughter's best friend. American Beauty is the name of the film. It's one of the greats. I really wish you could have seen it before you died. There is a particular scene in it which makes me think of you. Ricky Fitt's and family lives next to the Burnham's. Like yourself – his father Colonel Frank Fitt's is a proud military man. The way he is with his son reminds me so much of the way you were with me except you weren't a violent man. The particular scene which is so powerful is when Colonel Frank Fitt's believes Ricky is having sex with Lester Burnham. He isn't but they get into a big argument and Frank Fitt's tells his son he would rather him be dead than be a fucking faggot. Ricky then tells his father he sucks dick for money. He makes $2,000 each time he's that good. And he should see him fuck. He's the best piece of ass in three states. His father tell him to get out and he never wants to see him again. Ricky eyes the Colonel. He's finally discovered a way to break free from his father, and he can't believe it was this simple. You were sexually repressed Dad. You were – let's be honest about it or else – why were you never open about the important topic of sexuality? Why did I have to learn myself all the intricacies of human relationships? You lived a long life and you knew about people – they way they were. You could have imparted more wisdom to me in this regard. You never spoke about sex. You never spoke about love. I never saw you kiss your wife, my mother. The only times you ever really showed any emotion was on Anzac day. I can't imagine what you must have witnessed during the Korean war. You saw so much of human nature. The best and the worst of it.

I know you would be proud of my achievements professionally my father but it's my personal life that I'm sure you would take issue with these days. I don't think you could ever forgive me for what I have done. I am the leader you brought me up to be of this you can be sure but I'm living on the edge in my personal life. I can imagine how upset you would be with me father because here's the thing. In Thailand – I don't suck dick for money – I pay money to suck dick. I can imagine were you still alive to hear me say these words, I know it's something you could never come to terms with. Just think about the implications of what I just said. If you were alive today I know that you would be very angry at me. Given you are dead I think you would be rolling in your grave. What I have done would not make you proud of me for after all – I'm paying money for something that men are desperate for and give away for free. But hey – the money I pay goes to help my ladyboy partners and it also helps improve the lives of their underprivileged families living back in the village in Isaan.

Let's talk about what led me to engage in such behaviour…

I had lost all hope with western women. That's why I came to Thailand in the first place. I had experienced a lot of pain in the relationships with western women back home in our western society. So much has changed in society since you were alive. Much of the way you brought me up didn't prepare me for the world I was to inhabit. Your old school depression era values conflicted with the values of the people around me. You raised me to be a good provider but I only found women who told me they didn't really need a man. Seems that only the feminists were attracted to me – the older, bitter, fatter, angry women other men didn't want to deal with. The women who supposedly had it all but couldn't find what their hearts really desired because the alpha males didn't want highly educated, opinionated, bitchy women like them. The alphas wanted women young, fertile, feminine, deferential, respectful and polite who could cook, clean and look after a home and help raise a family. Women without bad attitudes. Women who knew who to treat a man decently.

The way I saw it dad – I had been down the monogamy path twice before and it didn't work out well for me. The women I was with had been passed over by richer, more powerful men than myself so these women had settled due to having no other options – for me. No wonder they were miserable for after all, imagine how bad it must be for a woman who has been raised since birth by her parents and society at large to believe she can have it all and then to have to settle for me, poindexter in the IT department. An average guy. Low status even. Who drives an old car and lives in a rented house. Who to the outside world doesn't seem to have anything but has saved and invested over four times his income (which is not bad for age 37 in comparison to many). How fickle is woman – judging men so much on their social status and external wealth and not for who the man is inside. You knew this father. You knew women well but you were never the greatest guiding hand in this regard. I guess that's why you always jokingly said to me “stay away from women”. Who would have thought it would be former men who would be the greatest source of pleasure I have ever experienced in my life.

I have been making regular twice yearly trips to Thailand father. These Thailand trips have changed me. I cannot see myself ever being back in a relationship with a woman. My heart and my mind have been forever changed by what I have experienced in the land of smiles. I have felt such great pleasure, experienced such wonderful joy as well as intense sorrow and pain being away from the place. The man I am today at 37 is so very different to the young man you knew me as when you died at age 73 – when I was just 22. Nothing is the same anymore. These 15 years without you have been newly formative years. If you had lived longer I probably would not have had the strength or courage to look deeply within myself and made that first trip to Thailand to try going with a ladyboy. For after all – if you were alive to have judged what I was thinking of doing you would not have liked it. The mere thought of having sex with ladyboys whilst you were alive to judge me would have stopped me from making that first fateful trip. It's only because you are dead that I was able to take such actions but even then – back in 2012 I needed to sit at your grave and tell you what I was about to do. That I needed to do it and I wasn't seeking your permission or your blessing. That this is the way it was going to be and I was taking ownership and responsibility for my soon to be life altering decision.

Dad – you were a good father despite your issues. I wanted for nothing growing up. You raised us to have all the things you never had. You were brought up in a poor household but you achieved a middle class living for us. You were a great provider and a great protector. I am neither of these things. You raised me to value knowledge, education and wisdom but the problem now is I feel I have seen, experienced and yes – maybe even know a little too much about the nature of men and women to function appropriately in western society. There's that word again – appropriate. I have heard it used so many times in reference to me, my words or my behaviour in life. But it's a made up word – by those in power to control those of us without power. To act and behave in ways that further their interests at the expense of our own. You know it was only ever the feminist types of women – fatter women, older women, women with issues that were really into a sensitive, considerate and intelligent man like me. It was never the beauty queens, the slim, the ultra beautiful women – they went for the thugs and bad boys. After all – I never made women feel secure and guys like that did and security as we know is number one for women. How appropriate is that?

I have come to the conclusion in my life that I can't do what you did dad. I can't live a life of sticking my head in the sand, keeping quiet, waiting until pay day and working til I drop. I believe my destiny is elsewhere. I fear however that your legacy will end with me. That your genes will not pass on to the next generation. Your ideas however – now that's another story. What is your legacy to me? You were a highly intelligent man. I inherited your intelligence – that was your greatest gift to me. I'm not sure where I got my height from – maybe your father as he too was lean and tall. Your wisdom was another gift. As a much older father you embodied within me your ideas, your values, your hopes, your dreams as well as your insecurities from a time long past. People say I'm a reasonably good writer dad. My boss at works tells me I'm making people re-evaluate their lives so I guess I can be reasonably outspoken as well when I want to be even though I'm an introvert. It seems I must be having an impact on those around me. My bosses at work have issues with me because they have difficulty controlling me. You had this problem too I know because I heard from you all the problems you had with your bosses at work whilst I was growing up. Have I gone off the rails do you think? Or have I discovered another path – a truer and more righteous path for me. A path less travelled.

By my actions – the results I have had on this world in comparison to my brothers I know I inherited your intelligence and your work ethic. These gifts could be valuable in Thailand. It's the silver screen that's beaconing father. I believe that someone with my mind could be a force for good in the land of smiles and bring hope, joy and opportunity to the third gender and to the western men that love them. There's opportunity to help many others with the gift of writing. What about the Thai people? The poor bargirls – the ladyboys I'm interacting with that have captured my heart. What opportunities are possible when we come together? What can I do to help them? Can I build a bridge between our two cultures? I'm almost certainly going to use my writing talents to write screenplays and then should I ever come into any of your inheritance – the opportunity will present itself to bring the screenplays to life in the land of smiles. All the worlds a stage and what an exotic stage it is in Thailand. To be able to capture on film what's available in the hearts of the Thais could be valuable to so many a western man with an interest in Thailand. A local business on the ground could round out the story – a bar or a philosophers cafe could become a meeting place for all the western men who like my ideas and what I stand for.

Mum inherited your wealth which is what you wanted but I haven’t seen one dime of it which is fine by me. You would be proud that behind the scenes I have worked tirelessly as a guiding hand – a power behind the throne and have helped mum build your wealth into an even bigger fortune. It hasn't been easy as she's not the easiest person to work with as you know. Just as your old friend said – you were the brains of that outfit. I have tried hard to bring her knowledge of business and investing up so she understands what she is doing. As difficult as it has been, I have tried to teach her to fish so she can eat for a lifetime.

Let me bottom line it for you – I have found happiness in Thailand Dad. I found it in the hearts of the Thai people. I never knew just how romantic men were until I fell in love with a ladyboy. Why didn't I understand our genders sacrifices before? It's like I was blind. I just couldn't see it. Now I see it so very clearly. I see things that are invisible to most other people. It's like I have a greater appreciation for the male of the species and a greater suspicion of the female. I have found some small measure of success as a writer and video producer. My fans value me more than anyone else in my life and that includes my old friends. Who ever would have thought that it would be strangers – men in the general public, men I don't know, who would become my greatest source of strength. Through my writings I have made an impact on many men around the world. I know because they write to me and tell me as such. Some have told me that I have changed their lives.

I'm not ashamed of the things I have done with the ladyboys in Thailand dad. I have decided to live a life of freedom – on my own terms. In so many ways I'm not interested in living the life you brought me up to live. I don't want to be under the control of a boss. I think I would have made a pretty good criminal mastermind but like yourself I'm too honest for that. Am I a deviant for behaving in the manner I have with the ladyboys of Pattaya? Maybe. Definitely according to most of polite society. How far off the straight and narrow path have I wandered? I'm not an alpha male and will never be one so I will never get the beautiful women I want. I don't make women feel protected. That's another strike against me. Seems my fair skin, blonde hair, green eyes and fit and muscular body attracts more men to me than women. I don't show off my wealth to women so I live under their radar.

I could never be a politician. I'm too honest for that. That's your doing. Your influence on me. You always were an honest man. To a tee. My writings here of course would also prevent me from ever running for political office. Someone would find out eventually who I was. Also – how many openly bisexual politicians are there? People don't trust bisexual men. I guess they have good reasons for this for after all – a man who has experienced sex with ladyboys knows just how boring sex is with genetic women in comparison. What woman could trust a man who sucks dick? What woman would feel secure with such a man knowing that men are driven so much by sex? If sex is easy for her man to gain elsewhere – why would he do the things she wants him to do – to be a good worker and provider for her in return for sex. What woman could control such a man?

You never knew me as an adult dad. I hope this essay helps to fill you in on the last 15 years of my life. I know overall you would be proud of the man I am today and I hope that with time you would come to understand and accept the different path I'm walking. It's a path that some western men have walked before me. It's a dangerous path strewn with the wreckage of many a western man. A path that brings me into close contact with pimps, prostitutes, alcohol and some quite unsavoury people but also extraordinary people and at times – a criminal element. This is the way it has to be though. Ladyboys have few employment options so of course being with them is going to bring other problems which could cause me grief. I accept this with the understanding that I would rather walk a difficult path with obstacles. A high risk path in order to share what's in the hearts of the ladyboys than to walk a comfortable path in the western world to share what's in the hearts of the western women that are available to me with their resulting dissatisfaction at with me being the man they are settling for. To be sure there are things I have lost since coming to Thailand. Respect from colleagues is one thing. I have lost former friends but gained newer – greater friends who share similar interests. A wise man once said that life is fleeting. Jarod from The Pretender TV series said life is a gift. Another said that all relationships are temporary. Anyone who does any amount of introspection will clearly see and in time will come to understand these things.

Solitude over the past three and a half years has helped me to understand myself so much better dad. I had to live alone and be alone to do this work. I now know myself better than you ever did and with this understanding comes great potential. The potential to help others. To show others a different way of life so they too can find in their hearts what I found in Thailand. Maybe that's my gift. Awakening other men. Men who only really needed a light – a guide to show them the way. These men were already looking for alternative options. They were already dreaming of a different path. On this path I will never know what its like to hold a child of my own in my arms. But it's my ideas once embodied in products or services that could have the most value to humanity. As a single, childless man I'm free to forge my own destiny but this destiny is almost certainly not in the country where I grew up. I have lost hope in my own society. Thailand beckons. It's calling for me. It already has my heart. I'm caught between two very different worlds.

I'm not a bureaucrat dad. You never were either even though just like myself you worked for the government. My actions indicate this. I may work a government day job but I'm not really one of them. They know it and I know it. Look at the things I have achieved in areas other than my job. By their deeds you shall know them – by your own deeds you shall know yourself. As the years roll by I'm getting closer to what I see as the inevitable conclusion to the path I have been walking – ex patting to Thailand. I'm spending month long periods of time in Thailand and each trip is better than the last. I have been building up a support network in Bangkok and Pattaya. I have local friends that accept me for who I am. The only thing that is preventing me from staying in Thailand permanently is business ties in Australia and money. My heart yearns for Thailand but gaining freedom for myself will come at the expense of the people I would be walking away from who have embodied in me 16 years of professional scientific expertise. How does a man weigh up giving up his profession for a new life in a completely different culture? Choosing and gaining a lot of freedom for oneself but at great expense to others.

So father were you alive today what advice would you give me? To take the road less travelled that could lead to some incredible experiences and a great life or the road everyone else travels – which will lead me back for a third lesson – a lesson I feel I have learned the hard, painful way twice already.

You know Dad it was only due to the sacrifices you made in your life that I was able to look within my heart and live a life true to myself. Without your pioneering ground work – I would not have had the opportunities I have had in life as I would not have been able to engaged in them without a first generation like you who laid the all important foundations for me to build upon. I would never have achieved what I have without you and your guidance, your knowledge and your wisdom. We all build on the work the generations performed before us. Thank you for all that you were. Your genes and your ideas live on within me and I'm going to use my gifts to help others.

What could my a person with mindset achieve in collaboration with the Thais in Thailand?

Rest in Peace Father.


Stages of Living the Dream in Thailand

Stages of Living the Dream in Thailand

Written by: The Pretender

July 13th, 2016

13 min read

Original published URL:


In this submission I would like to talk about the different stages we western men go through in our motivations and desires to live in Thailand and see if I can come up with a predictive model that explains at a high level what's going on in our minds and our hearts – what's happened to us both in the western world and in Thailand that has caused us to want to escape the West and live the dream in the land of smiles.

Let's talk about motivating desires. In the western world it feels like nobody really gives a shit about you. You're a utility. Your worth is measured by what you do for a living. How well you are treated by other people is dependent upon your status, your income and what assets you own. You are almost certainly an average to an above average income earner and you are used to being treated like a resource by everyone in your life and especially by the large corporation or government department that you work for. Your life is controlled. You have a good, stable job but your life is boring. You look around you and see that everyone else is living a boring life as well. You have had a long term relationship before with a western woman. You have experience as part of a couple and have certainly felt the irritations that living situation entails. You will be aware – acutely aware of the incredible lengths you have to go to as a man to find a so called “good woman” and the very high price western women put on themselves. It's a price that you have paid before but you felt uneasy about that price. It felt like you were paying money to be treated like crap. You have lots of experience of course going to bars and nightclubs trying to pick up women. You know how women behave in those places and how unreceptive they are. They don't smile, they are rude, bitchy, unapproachable and they reject men without remorse. They look at you like you're a piece of shit. This you have noted they also do to good looking men who don't have high status so you know it's not your looks that are holding you back when it comes to the so called fairer sex.

Living in the western world over time has worn us men down. The culture and the people are all very individualistic. They are self-focused. People walk the streets without smiles on their faces. They hurry from one place to the next with work constantly on their minds. Who has the time – in whose interest is it in the highly mechanised and technologically well developed western world to take the time and effort to smile at a stranger? Over time the experience of living in the west has caused us irritation and resentment and in our minds we think to ourselves is it me or are the majority of these people that surround me rude and obnoxious, greedy and self-interested? Vicious and nasty? Out only to use me as a resource to further their own agendas. At some point we get jack of it all and we book that first trip to Thailand. We go to a tourist area like Pattaya. We go out on our first night in Pattaya and what do we find? We find smiling, beautiful Thai people who will cater to our every need, want and desire. We are welcomed with open arms. We are amazed to discover that there is a place in this world where the people treat us with respect, dignity and kindness. How great this feels in comparison to how we are treated in the western world. In our minds we think to ourselves “I have finally found it – an incredible place with everything I have ever dreamed about as a man!”. The women and ladyboys are young, beautiful and a pleasure to spend time with. There are no rude, obnoxious, bitchy western women around. We find our peace – our nirvana.

So we spend 2 weeks in Thailand on our first trip. We have experienced a new culture, a new way of living. We go out every night and we have had sex with a variety of young, beautiful women or ladyboys and our hearts and our minds have forever been imprinted by the incredible sexual pleasures we have experienced in a tropical paradise. Large amounts of dopamine have flooded our brains and we have associated the greatest pleasures we have ever experienced in our lives with the people of Thailand. When we think about Thailand we think about freedom, variety, intense pleasures of the flesh, being treated in the manner we have always dreamed of being treated but never received by our fellow jaded and cynical westerners. We want this feeling to be a permanent part of our lives but at the back of our minds we know that going home to the western world will jolt us back to harsh reality. When we do get back to the west we experience a come down like we have never experienced before. Intense feelings of depression, sadness and loss. We have experienced the ultimate rush in Thailand and now we have to pay the price with the worst withdrawal imaginable. As the weeks and months pass by we slowly recover and get back up to speed with living in the western world. Even as we recover we still have daily – many times a day thoughts about Thailand and our experiences there. Our hearts and minds forever imprinted by our experiences in Thailand. We have contracted a virus of the heart and mind. Some call it Jasmine Fever. It has us in it's grips.

As we dream about Thailand every day we are also making plans for our return to paradise. With each obnoxious, high pitched, screeching western woman we hear in the workplace or out and about with her incredible sense of entitlement, our resolve deepens to get back to Thailand and away from the western world. We research flight ticket prices and hotel prices on the internet. We scrimp and we save our money. We avoid going out to bars and clubs. We know the rejection that waits for us in those gynocentric environments and we just can't face it after our experiences in Thailand have taught us that life doesn't have to be like this. There is a better way. Another option. We have experienced it but that experience has forever caused the western world to be seen by us in our minds eye as black and white, devoid of colour, our beige grey cubicle a constant, daily reminder of this. After experiencing Pattaya we look at our fellow, thirsty western men and their pathetic pussy begging behaviour and we cringe. We look at how overweight, overbearing western women have men jumping through hoops for them for the mere hint of sex. We see high status, good looking men with good jobs, income and assets laying down their lives for horribly entitled western harpies. We want no part of this anymore. We refuse to be a dancing monkey. That is no longer our role here. At least when we were a dancing monkey we had entertainment value to the people around us. We are now seen as sex tourists and those around us have accorded us a new role – outcast. How does it feel to be no longer a part of the in group? How dare you step out of line and try to find happiness for yourself when we are all miserable. Sneaky fuckers hey?

The months drag on, each day is misery but we have saved our money and today we are excited because we are booking our next trip to Thailand. It feels great knowing that we will be back soon in the land of smiles, away from the soul crushing and depressing cubicle farm. It will feel great to be a gangster again instead of a battery hen. We have experienced a variety of symptoms in the last few months in the western world including boredom, depression, social exclusion, irritation, anxiety, unhappiness and yearning – constant yearning. We start to realise that these symptoms come with a future payoff – a return trip to Thailand. We think about this further and we come to the conclusion that this is part of the price we have to pay if we choose to go against western societies customs and values and live a better life as a “sex tourist” in Thailand. Our behaviour is changing given our experiences in the land of smiles and the people around us have taken note of this. We are noticing that we are starting to see things very differently to our peer group. Our values are changing whilst the values of the people we work with have stayed the same or strengthened. This is causing conflict between us and those around us. We suspect that making more of these independent trips to Thailand and spending more time with the Thai people will cause our values to change even more and cause further rifts in our relationships with our colleagues, our friends and our families.

The time has now come for our next trip to Thailand. We have eagerly counted down the days. We have reminders set up on our computers to notify us. The day comes and we board our flight bound for Thailand. We are so excited that soon we will be back in paradise. Months of soul crushing work and being treated like a utility has come to an end and we are back in the land of smiles ready to experience again the respect, dignity and kindness by the beautiful Thai people. We go back to the bars, we go back to our women or ladyboys. We experience again incredible pleasure but perhaps it's not quite as good as the last time as we have become just that little bit accustomed to it now. Our minds are however once again as before being flooded by dopamine causing us incredible pleasure and more associations in our brains that tell us that pleasure equals Thailand. The cycle is repeating itself again and our habits are growing stronger. Not only that but our resolve is growing stronger that we want this to be a permanent part of our lives and we are willing to sacrifice – to do whatever it takes to make it so. We start scheming and plotting, calculating and projecting our career and financial capabilities trying to find a way to live this dream life permanently. We get back to the western world. Our values have changed even more from those around us. Our moral compass has changed direction. People have really taken note of this now. They can see only too clearly that you are no longer the person you once were. Your thoughts, ideas, behaviour and actions have all changed. Your interests and the things you constantly talk about have changed. They all centre around Thailand. People think and they tell you that you're obsessed. You have taken sex off the table when dealing with women back home. This makes you potentially very dangerous as you can no longer be controlled by women shaming you into compliance. It makes you less able to be controlled by your employer as well because you have no woman in your life extracting resources from you. No children either which makes you the least able to be controlled. You're now a “management problem”. You watch on as traditional conservative men with wives and children get promoted ahead of you. These men upper management knows full well are trapped. The have no options but to work whilst you could decide to tell management to go fuck themselves and walk out. You wouldn't have considered this before but now it's certainly an option.

The movie Fight Club is a great analogy to what's happened to us western men in Thailand. In the movie Edward Norton starts off as a white collar every day man and over time due to his involvement in fight club he becomes a very different man. What has happened to Norton is his mind and his heart have been shaped – forever changed by the intense emotional experiences he has had fighting other men. He has become more alpha than those around him in the workplace. He removed his compliance. This caused anger and resentment towards him from his manager and peers. The same thing has happened to us men who are regular visitors to Thailand. We don't give a shit anymore. We are less compliant. We can't be controlled by sex or bribed by the desire for status to attract women and that makes us dangerous – a threat. We see through the illusions and this makes us hard to manage and control. Management thinks to themselves – what are we going to do with this guy? As you're a good worker who produces great results however they have very little cause to get rid of you so life and work goes on.

Since 2012 I have made a total of 7 trips to Thailand. I have spent approximately 17 weeks in total in Pattaya and 1 week in Bangkok. It's incredible to think that just this relatively short amount of time has forever changed me as a man. That my values, beliefs, behaviour and actions have become so very different to those around me in the western world. I can see however that the stages I have gone through are the same or very similar to the stages other men who have been making similar trips to Thailand have gone through.

This is my 7th trip to Thailand. I am here in Pattaya making this submission. As I reflect upon previous trips I can see that my mindset is in a different place than what it was after the first five trips. Over time I have stopped wanting to stay here permanently and give up my life in the western world. I have come to the realisation that my life here as a “2 week millionaire” is only made possible – enabled by my full time life as an average man in the western world with a good job and good but not great salary. I have come to the conclusion the incredible life I am able to live in Thailand comes at a price – continuing to work in the western world and making short twice a year trips to Thailand. Doing it any other way comes at too high a price. I would be mortgaging my future for cheap beer and dare I use the word – hookers. I have just turned 37. If I were to stop working in the west now I would be foregoing a lot of income and wealth accumulation and for what? So I can stay in paradise longer and have paradise become boring like life is in the West? Humans adapt to whatever environment they find themselves in and I'm certain my life would become boring here in Thailand if I were to stay here full time at this age. Short trips it is then and the piper must be paid.

With sincerest thanks to my friend The Drifter who's currently in Vietnam but dreaming of Thailand for sparking this submission.

Until next time – all the best Gentlemen!

The Pretender Outsource Your Sex Life

Outsource Your Sex Life

Written by: The Pretender

July 21st, 2016

8 min read

Original published URL:


In this submission I would like to talk about outsourcing your sex life.

As a man in the western world you are used to hearing all about outsourcing. How jobs are moving to the developing world because labour costs there are much cheaper than in the western world. If you work in manufacturing or information technology then outsourcing will be a topic you have heard a lot about. At the office we are constantly hearing from our superiors that we have to provide value. We need to remain competitive. We need to ensure we are providing a high quality product or service to our clients. We see management constantly playing corporation games with the corporate hierarchy. Moving people around in the hierarchy like we are pawns on a chess board. We have individual performance agreements that list our roles and responsibilities and regular reviews to ensure that we are meeting our agreed list of key performance indicators and adding value in our role.

Let's think about these concepts when applied to our sex lives. Most of us will have had a lot of experience being in a long term relationship. We know that over time despite the best of our intentions the quality and quantity of sex diminishes. As the love hormones wear off over the course of a few years we become comfortable with one another and the intense feelings that brought us together in the first place disappear. It's natures way of telling us it's time that for us to mate with a new person and to further propagate our genes. As we are part of a couple and in a relationship almost all of us would not have any written agreement with our spouse which details each others roles and responsibilities and key performance indicators when it comes to important things that each partner values. Even if we do – making a written agreement about quality and quantity of sex would almost certainly be seen negatively by the female. If she is a highly educated woman she might call it inappropriate. Otherwise she would certainly call it unromantic.

Let's get down to brass tacks and bottom line why a corporation outsources shall we. It's a way to produce their product or service at a much lower cost which allows the corporation to make a higher profit. In the vast majority of cases the product or service that the corporation provides can be provided at an identical or near identical level of quality overseas at a much lower price. So it makes sense to outsource given that a corporations loyalty is to it's shareholders who have invested their hard earned money in the corporation in order to see a positive return on their invested funds.

In the western world under institutionalised feminism us men have gotten the bad end of the stick. Our societies high level of technological and societal development has enabled western women to unleash their in built hypergamy and to look up to higher status men whilst leaving the average man access only to below average women. We men compete with each other for access to women. If we have high status, a high paying job, assets and resources then we are in high demand from women at lower levels of status than ourselves. There is a high demand from us men for young, beautiful women. We are interested in high quality sexual experiences with them. If we are honest with ourselves we will admit that variety is important and we need to maintain a level of freedom to ensure that we are able to butterfly from one woman to another. This behaviour of course is seen as completely inappropriate as women want to tie us down and control us. A man who refuses to commit is a man that a woman cannot adequately extract resources from. It's the resource extraction from men that I want to talk about here in more detail because essentially it amounts to us spending money on dates, dinner, movies, flowers, home, family, mortgage, utilities and so on.

Let's consider ourselves for a moment as a corporation. The money we are spending is buying access to a woman's sexuality. Our return on our invested funds is sex. It's very high cost sex however. The price of sex with a long term partner in the western world is very high indeed. The sexual service are also generally speaking of low quality. If you have your eyes open as a man you may have noticed that many western women are overweight, bitchy, obnoxious, entitled, spoiled and not interested in taking care of a mans sexual needs. Sex really is a chore for them. They do it reluctantly to keep us around in order to keep us providing services to them that they value in us men. Sex is a loss leader for women. It's a known thing that lesbians have the least amount of sex and gay men the most. That speaks volumes about a woman's real sex drive.

So is there a way for us men to gain access to higher quality sexual services at a lower price by outsourcing our sex lives to a lower cost country?

The answer is a resounding yes!

So, you have decided the price of sex is too high in the western world and as the CEO of You incorporated it's time for you to look for an outsourcing arrangement. Just like a big corporation you are looking for the highest quality service at the lowest possible price. You know you will have a big advantage once you have successfully outsourced your sex life. Financially speaking you will have reduced your costs which will increase your return. The very high price you were paying for sex in the western world will be reduced considerably and at the end of the financial year your bottom line will be higher. You will have made a higher profit and as the biggest shareholder in You incorporated that profit is all yours. Note carefully as well – you will have substantially reduced your risks because you will have removed the ability for any one woman to divorce you and take half of your corporations assets. You begin your search in the developing world. South East Asia – Thailand is high on your list. You have heard good things about Thailand. The women there are all young, eager to please, easy to deal with and easy to train and mould to your exacting requirements. Much easier than dealing with the western woman you are used to receiving services from.

So you go to Thailand on that very first trip. You head to Pattaya to meet your new team and see how they perform. You are amazed at the sexual experiences you have with the variety of young women or ladyboys in Soi 6. You can't believe that a place like this really exists in this world! The prices as well are amazingly low. Under $100 AUD for a 2 hour, short time experience including the bar fine. You do the calculations and you realize that you can have a different partner every night here and it will cost you $1400 a fortnight. You are used to receiving sexual services from your western woman at most once a fortnight these days. Your mind spins as you come to the conclusion that the poor quality, lack of variety sexual services you are receiving from your woman would cost you $2600 a year here in Pattaya and you could have that sex with 14 different women! As CEO of You incorporated you have a duty to provide the highest return to your shareholders. As the corporations largest shareholder you see that it will be YOU that will be benefiting most by outsourcing your sex life. Doing so will dramatically reduce your costs and increase your return.

You return home to the western world. You explain to your woman that your company is going through a restructure at the moment. Outsourcing has been investigated and it has been found to provide a higher quality service at a much lower price and with none of the negative externalities (Google that word and think about what negative externalities exist whilst in a relationship with a western woman – you will be surprised). She has not been fulfilling her roles and responsibilities. She has not met nor exceeded her key performance indicators and it's time for her to move on due to her poor performance. Her services will no longer be required. You have found more appropriate human resources who will fulfill their roles and responsibilities without the constant nagging, complaining, cajoling, critiquing and negativity that she does. They will dramatically exceed the key performance indicators that you have set down for them at a much lower cost and they have every incentive to perform and to make you happy as a man as it's their livelihood we are speaking about here.

Outsourcing – corporations do it when the price is too high. Why can't we do it in our sex lives?

Outsourcing your sex life is a powerful strategy which neutralises completely western women's power over you as a man. They lose big time if you do this. They have no counter strategy except to shame men who do it. Shame is often directed from a person who has lost power. If western men en mass outsourced their sex lives western women would be forced to change their behaviour.

When western women ask "where have all the good men gone?" (good being a code word for rich) you can point and say the good men have adopted the tactics of those big evil corporations and implemented an outsourcing strategy. When you get a blank stare back you simply say "Thailand. The rich men have gone to Thailand". When she tells you "I said good men not rich men" you can say "I'm sure I heard you say rich. My mistake" then smile at her.

All the best Gentlemen!

Pattaya Taught Me The Real Value Of Sex

Pattaya Taught Me The Real Value Of Sex

Written by: The Pretender

July 27th, 2016

10 min read

Original published URL:


I would like to discuss the lessons I have learned whilst engaging in promiscuous sex here in Pattaya Thailand as I believe these lessons are important for how we could consider conducting our lives both here in Thailand and when we are back living in the western world and dealing with western women.

In my 7 trips over the last 4 years I have had sex with a lot of people – mostly ladyboys but some women as well. What I have found is that over time sex with the same person gets boring and it happens very quickly regardless of whether it is a woman or a ladyboy. The gays and lesbians want to get married back in the west – they should be careful what they wish for! They have freedoms that heterosexual men could only dream of! But I digress.

The most important take away lesson from Pattaya I believe is sex with the same person gets boring over time. This lesson is the most important because this is the situation that most foreigners will get themselves into when they decide to stay here in Thailand permanently. It's so very tempting to get into a relationship here and I understand only too well why us foreign men do this. Being aware of the diminishing returns in engaging sexually with the same person over time one must also be aware that the very real risk is that after getting together with a Thai, living with them and having a long term relationship with them, the relationship could end and this places us foreigners in a situation where we have no real security. We can't own land in Thailand and we can only own 49% of a business. The playing field is by no means level here. It's easy for me to see why so many foreigners mess themselves up over here. Everything is rigged in favour of the Thais. As the sexual experiences with one Thai person decrease over time the very real resources or money we are giving them compound – they increase over time and this comes at our very real expense.

Think about how high risk this place is to us men. If we are living in Pattaya – we don't have to walk very far outside our condo where we can find a new sex partner. Just like that. If we engage with this sex partner the intensity of the sexual experience the first time will be the highest it will ever be and it will be higher than the intensity of the sexual experience with our existing partner – who we have grown accustomed to and perhaps bored with over time. If we cheat on our existing partner we put ourselves and our assets in harms way. We place our power in the hands of the Thais.

Imagine if we have sold up our assets back in the western world, transferred our money to Thailand, moved here full time and got ourselves into a relationship with a Thai person. We are living with them. Over time the intensity of the sexual experience has diminished to the point where we are bored. We would like to go with a new partner. Every single day we step outside our condo we are surrounded by young, beautiful Thai bar girls. Temptation is everywhere and it would take an extremely strong man working hard, fighting against his nature, to ignore this temptation particularly when you are in a situation where you are bored of your existing partner.

So what is the solution to this problem?

Well – in my opinion the only way to win this game is to remain single whilst you are living in Thailand. That's right – remain single. Live alone and do your own thing. Engage sexually with existing and new partners if and when you feel the need but maintain your freedom, autonomy and independence at all costs. In the western world – it's a relationship desert. We all know this and this forms the basis of our need – our demand for these trips to Thailand. Our demand however is not met by adequate supply at a reasonable price in the western world. Having no other reasonable options we decide to travel to the land of smiles.

If you think about it – we are going from one extreme to another when making these independent trips to Thailand. In the western world we are starved for affection and romance and our instincts tell us that if we do find a reasonably attractive woman we should lock her in so to speak because who knows how long it could take before we get another opportunity. In Thailand we have opportunity everywhere so we should behave rationally by not getting ourselves into a long term permanent, committed, monogamous relationship.

The real lesson from Pattaya – that sex with the same partner gets boring over time applies both to the western world and to Thailand. So really – the only rational action we western men should take is to maintain the default position of mistrust towards the female of the species and remain single both in the west AND in Thailand. In other words – commitment to one partner in the west or in Asia may essentially be a fools errand. It's guaranteed to leave us unsatisfied as a man over time. It's guaranteed to produce diminishing returns for us – and note this carefully – diminishing returns in the area that we are most interested in achieving exponentially increasing returns in over time – the area of sexual satisfaction. Variety makes up a large part of sexual satisfaction due to sex getting boring with the same partner over time.

I think what happens to many of us men in relationships is we start out having fantastic sex. The best sex of our lives with a new person. We expect that this level of sexual intensity will lats forever – but it doesn't. It's natures way of tricking us into committing to the female. Women and the state via marriage takes advantage of this quirk of male nature. We foolishly make a legal decision which substantially limits our freedom and autonomy. When we commit to one person we give up the opportunity to be with other people. So the opportunity cost of commitment is very high indeed. In a city like Pattaya – the opportunity cost of committing to one partner is extreme. Off the charts. Believe me when I say that commitment is tempting here. A big part of me is in love with one person here in Pattaya and it would be so easy to just see her and nobody else. I have carried on paid relations with this person since 2013 but it has always been an open relationship. Committing would cost me a lot both financially and otherwise.

I think also in the western world we men stay with the wrong partner for much longer than we really should. We put up with her nagging, complaining, bitching and sometimes violent behaviour because in the back of our minds we fear being in a situation where we have no sex partner and we understand intuitively how difficult it is out on the streets trying to pick up sub standard women in bars and nightclubs. We have to learn "game" and practice pick up artist techniques. Ridiculous shit that a western man doesn't need to do over here in Asia. There are no pick up artists in Thailand. There is simply no need.

I read somewhere recently that western men who bring their western woman with them to Thailand are making a very big mistake. Over 90% of these partnerships end in less than a year here in Thailand. Think about the reasons why. Imagine – you have been with a western woman for years now and have become bored with her. The intensity of sex has diminished over time from 100% down to just over 50%. You are teetering on the edge and arguing all the time. You then arrive here in Thailand with her and you take a good look around. You see you don't have to put up with any of your woman's shit anymore as you have many more opportunities with young, beautiful, submissive partners who will treat you like a king instead of like a fool. If you get rid of your western woman you will experience very high levels of sexual intensity and the feelings of falling in love again with a fresh, new partner. In your new situation you will go from hearing “What have you done for me lately” vs “I will do anything for you”. What man could resist? Many of you would have seen the way western women grip their men's arms here in Pattaya when walking down the street. It's a real sight to behold isn't it? Western women here have a look of desperation in their eyes – something I have not ever seen back in the western world. Here in Thailand western women seem to have few very options. The western men avoid them like the plague and Thai men are too short and too poor for them. I get looks here from very attractive western women who wouldn't give me the time of day back home.

It's obvious to me after spending enough time in this extreme city that women use sex as a “loss leader”. To get us men in the door. To hook us at the start of the relationship so we stick around to provide them with what they really want from us – commitment, monogamy, security, family, resources, our time and our labour value. Women's behaviour is so clear to me now in a way that it wasn't when I was a younger man. As women age and lose their physical attractiveness they have less power over us men and this is a very real threat to them and the security they seek. They know only too well that it is sex that men are really after and they have little time to waste given they will lose their youth and attractiveness as they age – qualities which are essential to gain the protection and love of the men they seek – high status, rich and successful men.

It's so obvious why so many women hate pornography and prostitutes. Both severely undercut their sexual market bargaining position. Both give men outlets for their sexual urges and severely lessen their sexual power and control over men. In Pattaya I wouldn't consider even for a minute hooking up with a western woman. Why would I given the sexual opportunities that are available to me here? The whole notion of being with a western woman here in Thailand is frankly speaking – ridiculous to me.

Pattaya taught me that the real value of sex is low. We know that we can obtain sex here for less than $80. The value of our time and labour value as men however is very high. We should keep the lessons of Pattaya in mind – stay single, work hard, do our own thing and do not commit to one partner if you want to have high quality sexual experiences over your lifetime. These lessons are difficult ones for me to accept given I was brought up in a family which my mother and father remained married but accept them I must give my experiences here in Thailand.

My advice to you is this gentlemen: do not commit to anyone except yourself. That's one of the 48 laws of power by the way.

Until next time – all the best!

Ladyboys – The Rewiring of your Heart and Mind

Ladyboys – The Rewiring of your Heart and Mind

Written by: The Pretender

August 4th, 2016

8 min read

Original published URL:


In this submission I would like to discuss the different stages a western man goes through in his attraction and eventual sexual engagements with ladyboys. The causes of each stage, the overriding thoughts and the behaviour that a man will engage in during each stage.

The high level key drivers for a man engaging with ladyboys in Thailand include being fed up with western women, poor treatment in bars and nightclubs at home in the western world, irritation in general at the western world, frustration at the limitations and expectations of traditional heterosexual relationships, issues with western women due to experience with them over an extended period of time, a desire to try something new and the growing need for more freedom, autonomy and control over one's own life.

So – let’s get to the psychological/behavioral model:

Stage 1: Fantasy

Cause: Humans are sexual beings and we all fantasise. Some of us will fantasise about sex with transsexuals.

Overriding thought: “I would like to fuck a ladyboy”, “if I ever had the opportunity I would fuck a ladyboy”

Behaviour: masturbating to ladyboy or shemale porn on the internet, fantasing about sex with transsexuals.

Stage 2: Relationship breakdown

Cause: May be completely unrelated to fantasies of sex with transsexuals.

Overriding thought: “I’m out of here bitch!”

Behaviour: Moving out of marital home, breaking up with wife or girlfriend, signing lease on new house/apartment, organising finances. May start to form friendships online or in person with men who are regular travellers to Thailand or the Phillipines.

Stage 3: Emotional turmoil / Sexual rampage

Cause: Breakdown in relationship with ex girlfriend.

Overriding thoughts: “I have missed out on so much – I want to fuck anything that moves!”, “it’s so boring living here in the western world”, “No more long term relationships!”

Behaviour: Feelings of depression, anxiety, may try to get back into dating too quickly, may turn to heavy drinking or drugs, attending bars & nightclubs looking to pick up. Begins to research flight and hotel prices in Thailand or the Phillipines. Finds living alone empowering – allows deep thinking and reflection on thoughts and feelings. Conducts independent research on MGTOW, ladyboys, ex patting, reality of life with western women and other related subjects.

Stage 4: Flight

Cause: Very few options left in the western world, dating options limited to undesirable women / women who are too old / too fat / single mothers / etc. Taking flight a rational reaction to the dire situation on the ground in the western world. Thinks about male friends who are miserable/trapped in a relationship with moody, bitchy and/or ageing wives. Sees flight as only option.

Behaviour: Books first trip to Thailand or the Philippines, takes first flight.

overriding thoughts: “I’m going to fuck a ladyboy on this trip!”, “I’m going to try it!”, “I’m a free man now and I can do whatever the hell I want!”, “to hell with western women!”

Stage 5: First sexual experiences with ladyboys in Thailand

Cause: Long held fantasies, long exposure to ladyboy and shemale porn on the internet, breakdown in relationship, new status as free man – in the words of Tyler Durdan “it’s only after we’ve lost everything that were free to do anything”

Behaviour: Holidaying in Pattaya, drinking at ladyboy bars, sex with multiple ladyboys

Overriding thoughts: “this is incredible!”, “I feel amazing!”, “why did I put up with western women’s bullshit all this time!”, “why didn’t I come here sooner?”

Stage 6: Adjustment disorder / Mind fuck / Return to western world / Thailand withdrawal syndrome

Cause: Promiscuous sex with multiple ladyboys in Thailand in a highly condensed time period. May experience more sexual experiences in 2 weeks than has experienced in entire lifetime.

Characteristics: Return to western world incredibly difficult to adjust to, shock at treatment as a utility for whole life, new ability to see through western women's bullshit, anger at being treated like a fool for so long, anger at lies told by family/friends/western society. Problems in the workplace start. Less able to be managed/controlled. May cause workmates to “reevaluate their lives” due to discussion of inappropriate/controversial conversational topics. Workmates form clique and socially exclude the sexual deviant/sex tourist. Begins to see men as the “real romantics”. Sees previously invisible men and recognises their contributions to society.

Behaviour: Planning for next trip begins, saving, not going out, continuing to live alone, stops going out completely/retires from PUA behaviour. Avoids bars/nightclubs. Reflects on sexuality. May initiate contact with ex girlfriend or wife. May initiate contact with other men online who are on a similar path to share experiences due to lack of support at home / nobody else understands situation. May plan trips with other men on same life path. Starts losing existing friends. Friendships with men on same path strengthen.

Overriding thoughts: “I hate living here!”, “I want to get back to Thailand/Philippines ASAP!”, “I can’t believe how under control I was”, “Am I gay or bi?”, “who can I contact about these feelings? Who will understand?”, “these people I work with are way too conservative!”, “this workplace sucks!”, “my workmates all hate me”, “I don’t want to be governed by anyone other than myself anymore!”.

Stage 7: Rewiring of mind and heart

Cause: Promiscuous sex with multiple ladyboys in Thailand in a highly condensed time period. May experience more sexual experiences in 2 weeks than has experienced in entire lifetime.

Behaviour: Obsessional thoughts about transsexuals, trying to figure out ways to be with a transsexual long term, thoughts about bringing one home to the western world, begins to imagine a life with a transsexual. Begins to accept self behaviour and accept transsexuals. Incredible sexual experiences with ladyboys has caused both mind and heart to be rewired. Western women become completely irrelevant / invisible as sexual partners. Western women become highly irritating. Wont put up with western womens shit any longer due to no longer having any sexual interest in them. Seen as having a “deep obsession” towards Thailand or the Phillipines by friends. May become involved in LGBT groups in the western world as coping mechanism. Recognition that Briffault’s Law is weaker with ladyboys. Sees opportunity to engage in a different kind of equal partnership. Hesitance however to enter relationship with ladyboy due to sexual attraction becoming less with age as ladyboy gets older and loses femininity.

Overriding thoughts: “I love ladyboys!”, “ladyboys are the answer!”, “ladyboys and I understand each other”, “a ladyboy can love me as as deeply as I can love”, “a woman never loved me like this!”, “ladyboys will love me in the same way I love her”, “ladyboys will sacrifice for me in the same way I will sacrifice for them”, “a woman could never love me in the same way that a ladyboy does”.

Stage 8: Return trips to Thailand/Philippines. Strengthening of the heart and mind towards ladyboys

Cause: Western world a “relationship desert”, almost no opportunities at home anymore, seen as “too far gone” to be of any use to western women, mind and heart now completely rewired towards sexual relationships with ladyboys. Inability to be used anymore as a utility by western women. Finished as a long term provider in western womens eyes due to having other “more dangerous” options. Recognition by western women of not being able to be controlled by their sexuality and thus a very poor prospect as a life partner.

Behaviour: Complete shutdown of all dating in the western world, avoidance of western women, deepening of friendships in person and online with other western men on same life path. Gives up on western women completely. Recognition that women never loved “personhood” – only “utilityhood”.

Overriding thoughts: “this is my new life”, “this is how I want to live”, “this is cheaper than a wife and a MUCH better experience!”, “women are boring”, “ladyboys are exciting”, “I could live with a ladyboy”, “maybe I should move to Thailand/Phillipines full time?”, “My life would be better abroad”, “I would be happier abroad”.

Life now revolves around Thailand/Philippines trips. Circles between stage 4/5/6/7/8 on The Pretenders "Stages of Living the Dream in Thailand" psychological/behavioral model. (4. Return to Thailand / 5. Compartmentalisation / 6. Bargaining / 7. Acceptance of need to stay in the western world / 8. Acceptance & financial ability to leave the western world and live comfortably in Thailand). <INSERT LINK TO "Stages of Living the Dream in Thailand" Stickman submission>

I hope this model is helpful to those of you who are going through your own ladyboy adventures in Thailand.

With thanks to my good girl ladyboy friend in Bangkok for the inspiration for this submission.

Until next time – all the best gentlemen!

The Pretender

My Tinder Experiences in Australia vs Thailand

My Tinder Experiences in Australia vs Thailand

Written by: The Pretender

March 3rd, 2017

8 min read

Original published URL:



I want to talk a little bit about Tinder and the increased intrinsic value a western man experiences here in Thailand.

I’m on Tinder back in Australia and my experiences have not been good at all. Swiping right constantly yields only a few matches and then it’s a lot of time and wasted effort, messaging back and forth, trying out different descriptions to use in my profile, different photos etc all to no avail. It really is a complete waste of time and effort. Many women have de-matched me at the slightest hint that i’m too smart and too highly educated for them, see the dating game too clearly, see through their wily games sniffing around to see the size of my wallet, the fact I wont give up my resources to them or wont put them on a pedestal where they believe they belong. I have only been on 2 Tinder dates in the last year and those were with a Thai woman who was basically fresh off the boat so to speak but she learned very quickly the way things work in Australia and the massive advantages she has there with the local men. I could see it in her eyes, her posture, her behaviour, the things she said and the way she interacted and treated me.

Anyway – I decided to try Tinder here in Thailand for the first time. I had to buy a monthly subscription to do this as i’m in a foreign country. WOW what a difference it makes being a white, western male in a foreign country! For complete clarity let me repeat that – WOW what a difference it makes being a white, western male in a foreign country!

Here I am – I’m exactly the same person I was last week in Australia yet the results I achieve are markedly different. Nothing about me has changed. I’m the same person, the same looks, the same weight and height, the same level of muscularity, the same body fat %, the same intellect, the same level of education, the same clothes, the same photos on my profile and yet almost every time I swipe right I get a match. And not just any match – i’m getting matched with women and ladyboys who are more beautiful than any of the women at home that I could ever hope to be matched with. It’s just so easy in comparison to Tinder in Australia. Out of the matches I get in many cases they then message me very quickly compared to back home where I need to message them almost all of the time.

Whats the real difference here Gentlemen – Tinder in the Kingdom of Thailand vs Tinder in the Matriarchy of Australia?

Now get real quiet for a moment so you fully take this in:

My intrinsic value as a male has changed by changing my location.

In business – intrinsic value is the actual value of a company or an asset based on an underlying perception of its true value including all aspects of the business, in terms of both tangible and intangible factors. This value may or may not be the same as the current market value.

My intrinsic value as determined and judged by women is my level of wealth, status and resources. The fact that i’m in a developing country here in Thailand means my intrinsic value has soared much higher in comparison to back home in Australia. It’s both the perception and the reality that I as a westerner have money, status and resources in comparison to the rest of the marketplace here made up of local, mostly poorer Thai men. It’s the lack of institutionalised feminism in Thai society. It’s the fact that i’m exotic as a white skinned Australian man who’s time and attention are being competed for by many a Thai. A relatively rare commodity in a highly competitive economic marketplace. It’s the relative lack of power of Thai women and Thai ladyboys in Thai society – in the Kingdom of Thailand in comparison to the incredible power that western women have in the matriarchal western societies. I’m a wealthy white skinned western man that fits the mould as an ideal specimen – in the eyes of the local Thais. My market value here in Thailand is also higher than my intrinsic value. There’s a significant difference between intrinsic value and market value. Again as discussed – In the business world, Intrinsic value is an estimate of the actual true value of a company. Market value is the value of a company as reflected by the company’s stock price. Therefore, market value may be significantly higher or lower than the intrinsic value.

So it is with me – the white skinned wealthy foreigner. Many Thais will equate a market value to me that is higher than my intrinsic value. The take away message Gentlemen is that both my intrinsic and market value is much higher than it is in the western world so I can and will take advantage of my relative economic strengths, advantages and dating and sexual market opportunities here in Thailand. So can you should you decide to follow in my footsteps and come here. This is the REAL REASON many western women hate us western men that are frequent visitors to places like Thailand and Vietnam. Our actions – taking flight, deprive them of an economic resource even if that resource is not high value to them personally. Some other female in the collective loses by our actions and as we know women like to group together and close ranks against men, pouring on the guilt and shaming language to get us under their control. For after all – our actions of taking flight might also inspire other men to follow suit and this obviously cannot be condoned nor tolerated.

I wonder – the sexual market value graph of men and women (google sexual market value graph) – wouldn’t it be interesting to create versions of it based on locations in the developing world that us foreigners frequent – places like Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia. To create a version of it that takes into account a mans intrinsic value based on the fact he’s a white skinned wealthy westerner in a developing country and how his intrinsic value is higher than in the western world.

Let’s think of the reverse of this for a moment. What value does a young, attractive Thai woman or Thai ladyboy have in the western world? I for one know several ladyboys working in Australia and their intrinsic – their economic value has soared in comparison to what it is in Thailand. They have economic opportunities working as escorts that they could only dream of here in Thailand. $300 an hour compared to around $80 an hour here in Thailand. That’s almost 4 times higher per hour pay then here in Thailand! They are inundated in some cases with thirsty, desperate western men. Of course they are – look at the dating environment in the western world we men have to deal with. They’re an exotic flower with high desirability and value.

The bottom line is – here in Thailand i’m being looked up to by poorer Thai women and Thai ladyboys whereas in Australia i’m being looked up to and over. Let me repeat – in Australia i’m being looked up to and over. Passed over for richer, more successful men with wealth, resources and status who are much easier to control than I am. I wonder – how do the poorer Thai men here compete for access to women given the presence of richer foreigners? It mustn’t be easy. The local Thai women would be looking up and over the Thai men because these men do not fit their list of requirements in the way foreign men do – particularly their biggest requirement and need – their economic need for income, wealth and resources.

It just goes to show you that it’s not us men that are the problem but we can say that we men have a collective problem (that of being left out in the cold) due to the high level of power of western women who don’t need us anymore (and remember – to a woman need and love are the same. Remember Caveman’s Law: Whenever a woman says she loves you, substitute the word “need” for “love”, and 100% of the time it will be a true statement). It’s definitely women that are the problem and there is no doubt in my mind that economic security is what women are truly, really after – worldwide. Behaviour is communication and the actions of women who have gained wealth, status and resources is to look upwards to richer men than themselves. It’s so easy to see AND FEEL this after spending time here in Thailand and being the man that is being looked up to instead of over. Being the man treated with respect, dignity and kindness instead of being treated like a piece of crap or simply being ignored.

Andrew Henderson from Nomad Capitalist is a writer who I have a lot of respect for and he says to “go where you’re treated best”. Well – I did exactly that. I’m here in Thailand. I’m treated exceptionally well in comparison to Australia. I have gone where i’m treated best.

For me – this is the only rational course to take. Note this is not my action travelling to a developing country. It’s my reaction. I never would have needed to resort to such measures if the economic environment in the western world had not changed so much and become so heavily tilted in favour of women.

Until next time Gentlemen – All the Best!

The Pretender

Men’s Sexual Services Are In Low Demand And High Supply

Men’s Sexual Services Are In Low Demand And High Supply

Written by: The Pretender

March 6th, 2017

9 min read

Original published URL:



In this submission I want to talk a little bit about the sexual marketplace and our place in it.

I’m going to hit you with something which is difficult to hear but it’s true:

As men – our sexual services are in low demand and very high supply

I want you to put yourself in a woman’s shoes for a moment and think of things from her perspective.  If a woman is young and beautiful she has a very high demand from other men for her sexual services.  She has incoming interest from so many men.  Her sexual services are in very high demand and low supply.  Which is the exact opposite of your sexual market status.

In fact – her sexual services are in such high demand and low supply that unlike yourself – a price can be attached to them.  That’s where prostitution comes in.

Now think about this:

Why would a woman with a high sexual market value have sex with you for free when she can have sex with many different men and get paid a lot of money?

On dating sites like Tinder you often see women say things like “no one night stands” or “no hook ups”.  From her perspective it doesn’t make economic sense to have a one night stand or hook up with men for free.  In fact – hooking up with a man for free comes with very real costs and this has a detrimental effect on her – specifically on her reputation and reputation is very important for women.  If she develops a reputation as a slut (a woman who gives sex away to men for free) other women will slut shame her because she is lowering the price of sex for other women and she is very unlikely to be able to secure a long-term situation with a man as men are essentially buyers of her reproductive capability and this is negatively affected by having sex for free with many different men.  Becoming a slut limits substantially her ability to get what she really wants from a man – his wealth, resources, status and emotional support.  It makes complete sense from a woman’s perspective to not engage in short-term hook ups on an unpaid basis.  If she instead advertises herself as an escort she can make money from men for performing sexual services in the short term but this comes at the very real expense of the long term as she will have limited or completely eliminated her ability to marry.  So the opportunity cost of being a slut or escorting as a whore is high for a woman thus the price of prostitution has to be high enough in the short term to compensate her for this long term loss of wealth and resource provisioning from a man.  Being a slut and giving away sex to men for free is unprofitable for a woman.  In fact – it’s an economic loss hence the tinder profiles “no one night stands”,  “no hook ups”.

Interestingly – An observation I have made (maybe you have as well but haven’t thought about it much) if you have been to Pattaya or watched videos of the place on YouTube – have you noticed how many of the female prostitutes will cover their faces when a guy whips out a camera in red light districts like Soi 6?  Ever noticed a ladyboy or a male prostitute in BoyzTown hide their faces from a camera?  I haven’t either and there are very good reasons why.  Ladyboys don’t have the same opportunity costs of prostitution that a genetic woman does.  A ladyboy does not have to worry about her reputation in the way a genetic woman does.  As men – we know intuitively that the ladyboys want sex just as much as we do.  They know that we want sex and they know that we are not going to marry them and we wont be getting them pregnant any time soon so long-term resource provision from one man in exchange for access to reproduction is not a factor with them.  They have to make hay while the sun shines so to speak.  After a certain age – they can no longer get money from men in exchange for sex.  Genetic women are able to sell short-term non reproductive sex or long term reproductive sex.  Both have a price.  Just like the male prostitutes – the ladyboys can only sell short term non reproductive sex.  The covered faces of the genetic female prostitutes is evidence that the reputation risk is very high for them vs very low for the ladyboys and the male prostitutes.

Getting back to genetic women for a minute:

There have been numerous examples of rich and famous men who have cheated on their wives and their wives have stuck by them.  This too makes complete economic sense if you think about it.  As a woman ages she loses her youth, beauty and physical attractiveness.  She loses the ability to attract a high status, rich and successful man.  So sometimes her best choice economically is to stand by her man.  She has to weigh up the economic outcomes of staying vs leaving.  The leaving option will come with an economic payoff as well via divorce and if this payment is enough then that can compensate her for her much reduced ability to extract resources from a new man given her new, much lower position in the sexual marketplace due to her loss of beauty and increased age.  A newly divorced woman over 40 with children for example has to compete with younger, hotter, more attractive women without children.  Rich, successful men will choose the younger woman almost every time as youth and beauty for a woman is her signal to men that she is fertile.  The man can provide her with his excess labour (which she very much needs) and she can provide him with her child-bearing capability (which he himself completely lacks).  Single mothers and older women on tinder have a reputation as being easier than younger, childless women.  As we all know – there’s no free lunches in life gentlemen.  These women have to be nicer as they come with age, baggage and a much lower sexual market value.

I think at the end of the day we men need to come to terms with the fact that we all pay for sex – in one way or another.  In fact – it’s when we don’t pay for sex – when there is no obvious price attached to it, that we need to really worry about our wallet.  Not paying for sex by the hour will become very expensive later, as many a married man has learned to his detriment.  I have friends who have lost well over half a million dollars in divorces.  I want to try to avoid that outcome for my own life and I think the only way to do this is to put my ego aside and come to terms with the fact that all men, including myself pay for sex in one way or another.  All men, including myself are in a position where our sexual services are in low demand and very high supply.  Some men – the top, richest men are able to be with incredibly young and beautiful women but that doesn’t change the fact that their sexual services are in low demand and very high supply.  The young, beautiful women are not with these older men for their sexual services.  These women can get paid for sex by younger, taller, fitter, more muscular, more attractive men any time they want.

I was having a look through today at the escort services and looking through the ads reveals some interesting things.

There are a lot of women advertising their escorting and sexual services in exchange for payment.  The buyers of these services are men.  There is a HIGH demand from men for the sexual services of young, beautiful women.  There is scarcity in the marketplace as there are only so many young and beautiful women advertising and the price the women can charge is relatively high.  So we can extrapolate from this and make the observation that women’s sexual services are in very high demand and low supply.

There are a lot of transsexuals advertising their escorting and sexual services in exchange for payment.  The buyers of these services are men.  There is a HIGH demand from men for the sexual services of young, beautiful transsexuals.  There is scarcity in the marketplace as there are only so many young and beautiful transsexuals advertising and the price they can charge is high.  So we can extrapolate from this and make the observation that transsexuals sexual services are in very high demand and low supply.  I count as friends a number of ladyboys – some of whom are in Australia.  Their phones never stop ringing and they are inundated with offers from men.  I have had to ask one to please set her phone to silent when we are about to f*ck.  It was just ridiculous the demand for her personal services!

There are almost no advertisements from women advertising their sexual services towards other women in exchange for payment on backpage.  So we can extrapolate from this and make the observation that there is essentially no demand from women for sexual services from other women.  What does that tell you about female nature Gentlemen?  Think about and reflect upon the implications of this.

There are some advertisements from men advertising their sexual services towards other men in exchange for payment.  There is some demand from men for paid sex with other men but this demand is low due to the fact that men can get sex from other men for FREE.  Sex is mans primary interest.

I’m going to leave you today with a story from the abcnews about – I think it says a lot about personal choices, the sexual marketplace, demand for youth and beauty, morality, who the buyers are, who the sellers are, government interference in the marketplace due to prohibition, the effect this has on prices, the criminal element that then steps in, media reaction, stigma of the industry, etc.  There are 3 videos in the story – I encourage you to check all of them out.  Take note of the female lawyer working for  Despite her economic bias given she works for backpage – she has my respect as she can see the situation clearly and rationally.

Daughters for sale: How Young American Girls Are Being Sold Online

OK Cupid leaked data graph:

That’s it from me Gentlemen, until next time – all the best!

The Pretender